


The Call of the Moon

by Elvenheart993



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Backstory, Friendship, Gen, History, Hogwarts, Hurt/Comfort, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Teen Angst, Werewolf, Werewolf Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2018-04-17 16:06:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 59,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4672850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvenheart993/pseuds/Elvenheart993
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's the quiet ones who have the most to say and sometimes it's the most unsuspecting person who hides the darkest secret. Remus Lupin was five years old when he knew something was wrong with him. This is his story.</p>
<p>Please note that my story is also posted on FanFiction.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that I have also posted this story on Fanfiction.net

** The Call of the Moon **

**Chapter One**

1965:

Hope Lupin was a muggle, and, as any muggle who has been married to a wizard or witch would say, her life was far less dull than it had been before she met her husband. She had dark hair that hung in ringlets framing a round face and green eyes that her son, Remus had inherited. Since her eyes had been opened to a whole other world existing within her old society, Hope firmly believed she wouldn’t trade living in this world for anything. It had been a great struggle at first. She was sworn to secrecy and could never tell any of her friends or family the truth of the existence of magic, and indeed that her husband was a wizard, and there had been a period of adjustment to say the least. She was still surprised every time the door opened itself for Lyall, or when he produced a rose in the air for her from nothing.

When Remus was born, and every day since then that she heard his little feet running around and ran a hand through his light brown hair, Hope thought she could never be happier.

Raising a magical child without having magic herself was a challenge indeed. And sometimes it was terrifyingly daunting. One fateful day Remus had accidentally flooded the kitchen, which left a panicked Hope haphazardly trying to wade through water to the sink whilst simultaneously trying to comfort a crying three-year old. The day that Remus’ teddy bear had started to float as he lay on his back cooing at it, her husband had been overjoyed and for the rest of day proclaimed his excitement as often as he could that his son was showing signs of magic.

Lyall Lupin had been working in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures for three years. An expert on Non-Human Spirituous Apparitions, he rapidly rose to prominence in the Department. He loved his job. There was a certain thrill about trapping greedy boggarts in matchboxes and trying to catch a particularly sneaky Cornish pixie before it could wreak havoc in muggle shops, that excited him. However, today was a day that Lyall wanted to be over before it began.

“Can I see? Can I see?” Four year old Remus peered over the breakfast table trying to read the copy of the Daily Prophet that Lyall was engrossed in.

Absentmindedly, he reached down and lifted his son into his lap with a grunt, looking up long enough to smile gratefully at his wife as she set a plate of eggs and sausages down before him. He had to admit, magic certainly couldn’t make eggs taste as splendid as Hope could.

“Thank you, dear.” He said and returned his eyes to the headlines.

“I wish you wouldn’t read that over breakfast…” Hope tutted and caught herself peering strangely at the moving images on the paper again. Though she had had years to get used to it, she wasn’t sure she ever would be accustomed to photographs moving.

“M-Mu…what’s that word?” Remus piped up, looking up at his father’s chin and pointing to the paper.

“Muggle.”

“Muggle…” Remus repeated and frowned as he focused on trying to read the next word. “Chi…children?” He looked up for confirmation and grinned when his father nodded. “Muggle children-”

“Oh Merlin…” Lyall quickly scanned his eyes down to the picture as it changed beneath the headline and quickly slammed the paper face down on the table and lifted his son off his lap. “You better go and eat, Remus.”

“Bu-”

“Come on, your breakfast is getting cold.” His mother chided gently as she slipped into her seat beside Lyall and nodded to Remus’ plate as he climbed up. She frowned slightly and raised her tea to her lips as she looked at Lyall who had picked the paper up again. His face had gone grim and lines creased it.

“…What is it?”

In answer, Lyall passed over the paper and fixed his eyes instead on the sugar bowl in the middle of the table. Three, two, one…

Hope gasped and a small hand went to her mouth as she stared wide eyed at that morning’s headlines of the wizarding world. “Oh no…oh the poor-”

Lyall nodded slowly and looked once more at the Daily Prophet.

In large bold lettering, the headline simply read: Muggle Children Found Dead.   
Below, in smaller letters were the words: Manner of killings and rise in werewolf activity raises suspicions.  
Below this was a picture of two young children, a boy and a girl that couldn’t be older than eight years old.

Remus was blissfully unaware of the looks that his parents were giving each other, too immersed in his breakfast now to notice.

Werewolves. Lyall had seen his share of the beasts and he despised everything about them. He thought them cruel, mindless creatures that only wanted blood. Any unfortunately soul bitten was better off dead than becoming the beast to which he was sure they would eventually succumb.

There was a screech and a handsome Barn owl tapped on the window with its beak. At once, Lyall leapt to his feet, his breakfast untouched and hurried to open it. It was a Ministry owl, he recognised it immediately by the proud way it stuck its leg out with the letter tied to it.

He opened it and scanned though it quickly. It was just what he had been expecting.

“I have to go in early, Hope. They’ve got someone in and they want me present for his questioning.”

“But Daddy….” Remus suddenly piped up from the table and looked at his father with wide eyes. “You promised you would-”

“I know, I know…” Lyall sighed and hurried to retrieve his cloak. Swinging it around his shoulders and fastening it at the collar, he ruffled his son’s hair and kissed his head. “After work, alright? Sorry, dear….I haven’t time to eat.” He stepped around to the other side of the table as his wife stood up and kissed her goodbye. “I’m not sure if I’ll be late or not. I’ll try and let you know if I will be.”

xxxXxxx

“I told ya…I dunno nothin’ ‘bout those kids…” The man looked genuinely afraid as he sat in the cold black chair surrounded by representatives of the Ministry of Magic.

“That’s fine…” The witch said slowly and sighed. “But we haven’t gotten to that yet. We will get there.”

“That’s why you brought me, right? Can’ you people leave a poor man alone?”

The witch sighed again and arched an eyebrow at the two wizards either side of the man.

The man was dressed shabbily, his shirt torn and filthy and one toe protruded from his left shoe. His hair was black and knotted, hanging limp around his pale face and his hands opened and closed repeatedly on his knee.

 “Now…your name?”

“G-Greyback.” The man stammered, still staring wide eyed around him as though he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He eyed the wizard to his right whose wand was held loosely in his fingers. “Oi…what’s that? What’re you gonna do-who are you people?”

“Where were you the night of February 11th?”

“At my bench where I always am. I sleep where I can, fellas, leave me be.”

Lyall Lupin narrowed his eyes from his seat with the rest of the committee. The man for all intents and purposes did seem to have no idea at all where he was. 

“Harroway?” The Chairwoman addressed the wizard. “I trust you confiscated his wand?”

“He didn’t have one.” The man answered, and looked down at the muggle man in the chair. “Thorough search.”

“Mr. Greyback…” The man snapped his blue eyes back to the woman. “You were seen in the company of known werewolves the morning following these attacks-”

“Were-you’re mad, all of you!” The man shouted. “Look, I dunno what you want but I don’t know nothin’ about what killed them poor kids. I was mindin’ me own business…think I mighta talked to some fellas next morning.”

“And what did they say to you?”

“I…look they was weird guys, I’ll tell you that. I think they coulda done it if they wanted…they wanted ta know my name. Wanted ta know if I knew places they could go.”

“What kind of places?”

Greyback shrugged. “Said places they could get quiet if they needed a kip. Where people didn’t go.”

A wizard two seats away from Lupin leaned over to whisper to his neighbour and Lupin shook his head slightly. He had a very bad feeling about that man. His keen eyes darted over his appearance again, searching for something, anything that would prove this man was no clueless muggle.

“Are you, or have you ever been, infected with lycanthropy?”

“…With what?”

“Werewolfry.”

“…You callin’ me a werewolf?”

“Are you?”

“Look…” Greyback leaned forward slightly and looked up with wide eyes. He fixed his eyes on the Chairwoman and then slowly looked around at each person in the room. “I’m just a man down on his luck. Do I look like I coulda killed those kids? I’m tellin’ ya…talk to ‘em if you say they’re the werewolves… ‘cause I ain’t one.”

There was a long silence and from where he sat, Lyall could clearly tell that most of the room was beginning to side with this supposed muggle. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very wrong. And then he remembered that the next full moon was only a day away. And suddenly this tramp’s appearance made sense.

“He’s lying.” He called out and the words echoed in the silence of the room. All eyes turned to Lyall, including those of Greyback who seemed to twitch.

“Mr. Lupin…” the cold voice of the Chairwoman sounded. “Would you please-”

“He’s lying.” Lyall repeatedly adamantly and pointed an accusing finger at Greyback. “He’s a werewolf.”

The rest of the committee erupted in scoffs and sneering.

“And how could you possible think that, Lupin?”

Lyall rose from his seat, his jaw set firm and determined. “I know the signs of lycanthropy. Look at his eyes….look at his skin.” His eyes darted down to the man’s hands which were still opening and closing on his knees.  “His eyes are reddened, his skin is sallow and look at his hands…he’s restless. Wolves always are before a full moon…I’m sure you’ll find his teeth are slightly sha-”

“Lupin, sit down!” Someone tugged on his elbow but Lyall ignored this and stared around at the Committee in disbelief as nobody moved to check.

“Look at him!” He insisted and was met only with glares. “I recommend he be detained if you don’t believe me…at least until tomorrow night. Until the full moon.”

There was suddenly a chorus of laughter.

“And when did you become an expert on werewolves?”

“Lyall, you just stick to Welsh Boggarts, that’s what you’re good at!” A witch behind him sneered and Lupin went red and his fists trembled at his sides.

“Why won’t you listen? He’s no muggle!” When the laughter only grew louder, Lupin’s anger got the better of him. His pride had been wounded, and his rage at the beasts that had killed those children was kindled against the man he was certain was one of them.   
“They’re soulless! The lot of them! They’re evil and they deserve nothing but death!”

“Mr. Lupin! You will leave this room immediately!”

Before Lyall could protest he was being forcibly removed from the room, glaring over his shoulder at Greyback. Whether it was his anger conjuring illusions or he really saw it, he couldn’t be sure, but he could have sworn he saw Greyback’s pale face twist into a scowl as the door slammed behind him.

A few minutes later, with instructions to wipe the Muggle’s memory as soon as he was safely out of the Ministry, two wizards escorted Fenrir Greyback from the room.

“Listen…thanks, fellas…I dunno what you are but…” Greyback fumbled as they stood before the golden elevator. “…but…” And just as the doors of the elevator opened with a chime, Greyback threw out his arm at the wizard on his right with a growl.

Before either of them had a chance to react and raise an alarm, two more wizards leapt out of the elevator, wands drawn and after a brief struggle, left one of the Ministry Wizards stunned and the other being thrown into the wall by Greyback and another werewolf.

The elevator closed behind them before anyone knew what had happened and as Greyback and his accomplices walked free, the werewolf posing as a muggle snarled and revealed a slightly pointed tooth.

“Lupin thinks we all deserve death does ‘e?...I’ll see about that.”

Lyall Lupin left the Ministry in disgrace that day. Word of his outburst in the courtrooms had spread quickly. He kept his head down and tried to ignore the jeering and laughing as he marched toward the fireplaces to take the Floo Network home. He had one foot in the green flames when a loud shout stopped him. He turned and craned his neck to see over the crowd which was parting now to allow two witches and a wizard to pass. A stretcher floated along behind them and the wizard who walked beside it, turned to look Lupin in the eyes as he passed. His scarlet cloak brushed the stone floor as he passed and Lupin recognised him immediately as Harroway who had been in the questioning. The man on the stretcher had been there too.

A moment was all it took for everything to dawn on Lupin and for him to put the pieces together to come to the only reasonable conclusion he could think of. He had been right. Fenrir Greyback was no muggle.

xxxXxxx

Hope looked up from the dining room as she heard the fireplace roar into life. She wished Lyall wouldn’t come home that way, his clothes were always filthy. And then there had been that one day he came home in such a fashion while the muggle postman had been at the door. The poor man had been so startled at the noise he had asked whether she needed the police.

She looked back down and patted the book on the table in front of Remus with one finger.   
“Come on, dear, you’re doing very well.”

“Of course he is, his old man was a Ravenclaw after all.” Lyall announced as he stepped through the doorway and forced a smile at the sight that greeted him.

Remus looked much like his mother, he had her eyes, and the shape of her face. He had her smile too, as he looked up and grinned at his father. Perhaps it was the deaths of the two muggle children, or perhaps it was simply the knowledge that there were werewolves loose now that made him think of it, but Lyall was filled with a sudden desire to keep his son hidden and close to him all the time.

xxxXxxx

Hope ran a hand over her brow as she knelt back on her heels, finishing her weeding. She looked across the small garden to where Remus was playing with a cat that had wandered over from one their neighbours. It was a small tabby, with a little bell on its collar that jingled when it was near.

This was the house. He knew Lupin’s scent well enough to know that was his family outside. Greyback watched from the corner of his eye across the street. His wrinkled his nose slightly as a sneer crept across his face. A muggle woman, how delicious it would be to kill her in front of Lupin. He would know death well by the time Greyback had carried out his revenge. It was the night before the full moon. And then suddenly his keen eyes snapped across the garden to the small boy with light brown hair playing on the grass. Lupin had spawn?

Fenrir Greyback scratched at his stubble, and suddenly he had no interest in killing the woman. Oh no, he had a much better, much more fitting revenge in mind now. He would see how much Lupin thought werewolves deserved to die when he had one of his own.

On the last night of the full moon, two nights before Remus’ fifth birthday, a wild, fully grown werewolf stalked toward the Lupin household. Its fur was of such a dark grey it was almost black. Its shorter snort was snapping and drooling as it eyed a window on the second floor with cruel, but human-like blue eyes. He was uncontrollable and hungry, a mixture that made a fully grown werewolf nigh unstoppable.

With a single bound, it leapt and clung to the protruding window sill with claws as thick as broom handles. Bracing its hind legs on the wall, the wolf howled and propelled itself through the window with ease, splintering glass, wood and stone.


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter 2**

There were three things that could have woken Lyall Lupin that night, and he would never remember for sure whether it had been; the crashing and shattering of a window and part of the wall, the terrible howl of a werewolf, or the screaming of his son. It was just after midnight when Lyall and Hope launched themselves from their bed and thundered out of the room down the hall.

Remus was screaming so terribly he sounded like he would die. There was a great crunch as the bed splintered and the snarling of a beast that could kill him in half a moment. Perhaps what was more terrifying though, as Lyall Lupin blasted the door off its hinges, was the moment that his son stopped screaming. The door flew with a crash into the wall and Hope screamed as her husband threw out his arm and pushed her back into the hall.

A huge, snarling wolf stood there atop the rubble of a broken wall. Its jaws were dripping red as it dropped the small body of Remus Lupin from its teeth and sprung at the boy’s parents with claws that glinted in the moonlight.

“NO!”

There was a blinding flash of light and an angry yelp as the beast flew back and nearly out the hole in the wall. Curse after curse Lupin rained against it and before it could lunge again and finish all three of them in a few swipes, the werewolf stumbled back blinded and was blasted through the hole it had created in the wall. But not before Lupin had gotten a long enough look at its eyes. It hit the ground hard and didn’t return to the fight. It ran, temporarily blind but following its nose away from the house and into the night.

As soon as the wolf was gone, Hope, though nearly paralysed with terror tore into the room, screaming for her son as she threw herself down beside his crumbled and bloody form where the remains of his bed was.

“REMUS!” She shrieked, sobbing hysterically as she looked frantically at her husband who tore away from the hole in the wall and ran to her side. “LYALL!”

The four year old boy was trembling so terribly that Hope could barely keep a grip on him. His skin was deathly white and blood poured from his neck and shoulder where the wolf had bitten him.

“HELP HIM, LY-” She dissolved into sobs, unable to form any more words as Lyall threw a blanket around the boy and gathered him from her arms into his own.

“No, no, no…” He felt tears running down his cheeks as he hurtled downstairs as fast as he dared carrying his son. He nearly fell flat over his feet and caught himself just in time as he staggered into the living room. He couldn’t risk St Mungos, his boy would most likely not survive the trip whether it was Floo Powder or Apparition. Lying Remus down as gently as he could while he was shaking so badly, Lyall rummaged madly through his potions trunk in the corner of the room.

He grabbed two bottles, one with a greenish liquid, and the other containing Essence of Dittany and hurried back over to his son. At that moment, Hope, whiter than a sheet, stumbled down the stairs and pulled her son into her arms. His shaking was slowly easing into small twitches and his breathing was slowly started to decrease.

With shaking hands, Lyall slowly drew his wand over the wounds. “Vulnera Sanentur…”

The blood flow slowly seemed to ease off and Remus went still. Lyall and Hope exchanged tearful looks at this before noticing that his breathing was still there. Sniffing, Lyall tried to regain some composure and repeated the spell.

“Vulnera…Sanentur…”

The deep wound in the little boy’s shoulder started to heal, slowly, but surely it began to knit itself back together. The scar would remain forever. Dropping his wand, Lyall cupped his son’s face tearfully and tried to fight back sobs. After a long minute he kissed Remus’ head and withdrew his hands to look at them. They were covered in blood but all that mattered now was that Remus survived. So he forced himself to still the shaking and picked up the small bottle of greenish liquid.

“Hold his head up…” He instructed and without question Hope tried to do so.

Unstoppering it, he carefully held the vial to his son’s lips and trickled a small amount into his mouth.

There was a choking and spluttering but it went down and Remus let out a small sigh and went still in his mother’s arms, his breathing evening out finally.

With a long sigh of relief, Lyall slumped back and gripped at his hair.

“Will…did you…is he goin’…” Hope trailed off and Lyall responded quietly without looking up.

“I think he’ll be okay.” For want of a better word. He would at least be alive.

His thoughts travelled to the werewolf, its jaws around his son and staring at him with hunger in its eyes. In its blue, human eyes. There was not a doubt in his mind that was Greyback come for revenge. And he had gotten it. The curse was in Remus’ blood now and he was terrified at what it was going to do to his boy…to his four year old boy.

“That….it wasn’t an ordinary wolf…” Hope sniffed and wrapped Remus tightly in the blanket, cradling him gently in her arms. Her eyes were wide and wet as she stared at her husband, dreading what she might hear.

“That was a werewolf, Hope…and it’s bitten him.”

“Lyall…don’t you dare lie to me now, what is going to happen to him?”

There was a whole minute of silence before Lyall finally found the strength to meet his wife’s eyes.   
“It’s in his blood now…I think he’ll become one.”

xxxXxxx

“Am I going to die?”

Hope smiled softly and stroked her son’s hair back as he lay tucked up in bed. Remus was still frightfully pale and too unsteady on his feet now to be allowed out of bed yet.

“No, dear. Of course you’re not going to die…” She said and kissed his forehead before offering him another spoonful of soup. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I’m sore.” Remus pouted and wriggled around in the sheets. His shoulder hurt and he felt sick all the time. He couldn’t remember what happened to him very much, only a big dog smashing his window and waking him up. Then there was lots of pain and he couldn’t remember anything.

“You’ll be alright.” Hope reassured him and tried to reassure herself. She didn’t know anything that was going on anymore. Suddenly there were werewolves in her life that had once seemed so simple, suddenly she was terrified that her own son would turn into that beast that nearly killed him.

“Hey…” She set down the bowl when Remus stubbornly shook his head and refused to eat anymore. “A little birdy told me-”

“Hippogriff.”

“…sorry, what was that?”

“Hippogriff.” Remus repeated. “Not a bird. It’s what Daddy says.”

“Well, Daddy might say that, but I say birdy.” Hope smiled and leaned back against the back of her chair. “You remember that we’re not all like Daddy and you are. A little birdy told me that today is a very special day…but I can’t remember why?”

Remus frowned and just watched his mother for a moment. How could she forget it was his birthday today? It was his birthday today! He suddenly grinned and held up one hand.

“I’m five!”

“Are you really? No, no, I’m sure you’re only four…” Hope feigned ignorance and beamed at the happiness that finally lit up his little face.

“Five!” He argued and laughed. “Is Daddy coming home soon? Do I get presents?”

“He’s home now!” A voice called from down the hall and his father appeared in the doorway a moment later. He looked tired and worn and hadn’t been into the Ministry since that night. Nor had he explained his absence truthfully. If he told them that his son had been bitten by a werewolf and so would most likely become one, he would lose his position and now more than ever he needed his job.  And so he had owled in with a case of the mumblemumps.

Lyall smiled, one hand behind his back as he walked in and sat on the bed next to Remus.   
“And I do have something for you…but you can’t use it until you can get out of this bed.”

Bouncing with excitement, Remus waited patiently. In his eagerness, the teddy bear beside him started to bounce too.

Slowly, Lyall brought the hand out from behind his back. His fist was closed and didn’t look like there could be anything hidden there. Until he clapped his other fist to it and pulled them apart quickly, revealing a small toy broomstick.

Hope smiled fondly as Remus beamed and hugged his father happily.

“Lyall, let him get some sleep now. He says he’s not tired but I know he is.” She fixed her son with a knowing look when he just pouted at her and then gave in and lay back. The poor boy really was exhausted.

As they closed the door behind them and stepped out into the hall, Lyall pursed his lips into a thin line and rubbed his wife’s shoulder. “We have to leave.”

xxxXxxx

That was the first of many relocations that Remus would have to endure in his childhood. When he asked why they had suddenly packed up bags and left, Lyall just said it was further away from the wild animals that had attacked him.

They moved to a small cottage on the outskirts of a small muggle town near Bristol. Remus was getting better, and within two weeks of the attack he was on his feet again and moving perhaps a little too excitedly around the new house. He went with his mother to the shops one day while Lyall was at work and was so thrilled at not being cooped up in bed that he ran ahead and left her frantically running after him.

At five years old, Remus was reading and writing better than most children his age under the tutorage of both his parents. He knew he wasn’t like the other muggle children, but he didn’t understand why his father never used magic outside the house.

The day of the full moon in April, Lyall didn’t eat more than a bite of food all day. He was worried sick about what would become of his son. Remus too, complained about not being hungry and was pale and sick looking. He only ate a few bites of his breakfast when his mother insisted that he couldn’t go without eating.

Lyall returned from the Ministry well before sunset and sat sullenly in an armchair. His jaw was clenched hard and his fingers gripped the arm of the chair with a vice like grip. Remus didn’t know what he was, or what was bound to happen to him.

“Lyall…” Hope said softly, gently resting her hands on her husband’s shoulders. “What’s going to happen to him?”

The wizard merely shook his head and gripped the chair tighter.

“Are you going to…to tell him?”

The wizard sighed and closed his eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t even know if he’ll remember.”

He didn’t tell Remus. As the sun set he took him upstairs, ready to put him to bed and sat down on the bed with his son on his knee.

Looking fearfully out the window and then back at his son, Lyall could already see the signs. The boy was pale and his eyes were slightly sunken.

“Daddy…I feel funny…” Remus said in his small voice, leaning against his father’s shoulder.

Lyall swallowed and looked once again out the window before he turned and set his son down off his knee onto the mattress.   
“You’ll feel better after you sleep, my boy…”

“Can’t I say goodnight to M-”

“Not tonight, Remus.” Lyall said so quickly and sternly that his son cringed a little. He leaned forward and kissed Remus’ forehead. “She’s lying down too.” He lied. “She’s not feeling well either. Now…it’s time you should sleep, Remus…”

He rose as Remus wriggled under the blankets and drew the curtains across the window. The full moon would be high in the sky within half an hour.

“I love you.” He whispered as he leaned in the doorway and the young boy lay back, wide eyed and wide awake but did not complain. He felt too ill to want to be up longer.

The door clicked softly as Lyall closed it and with a reluctant sigh and trembling hands he pointed his wand at the door. He waited a long moment before he tapped the wood of the door lightly and from the inside, Remus thought he heard the clicking of a lock.

“What are you doing?” Hope whispered as she froze at the top of the stairs as she watched her husband pocket his wand. “Did you just…”

Lupin pressed a finger to his lips and motioned for her to turn around. Together they went back downstairs to the living room where Hope rounded on her husband.   
“Did you just lock him in his room?”

“Hope, don’t fight me on this…”

“No, I will. You just locked your five year old in his bedroom!” She stared wide eyed at her husband and fixed him with a lethal glare.  “You go and unlock that door right now, what if he needs us?”

Lyall sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was torn about what to do, but he was sure that whatever happened tonight, he needed to take precautions against.

“I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen to him, Hope, but it’s a precaution I have to take-”

“He’s a little boy, he’s not a monster.”

“I know that!” Lyall hissed, looking towards the stairs. “But I also know that it’s safer for everyone in this house, including Remus, for him to be alone. At least until we know what’s going to happen…he won’t even know I locked that door.”

As the full moon rose round and eerily white, it began.

Remus, who had lay awake and still in his bed suddenly cried out loudly. He shot upright as pain coursed throughout his entire body. He screamed and cried and tried to stumble out of bed and run for his parents but fell hard onto the wooden floor. Pupils dilated and his teeth began to sharpen into points.

“Mummy! DaaaAAARGH-”

Somehow, through the agony that pierced every bone in his body as they grew and changed, Remus managed to crawl to the door. They always left it open a little so he could open it and find his parents if he needed to. But it was closed, why was the door closed?

He screamed again, loudly and more terrible than any of the others and struggled desperately to breathe as he stared at his small hands. His fingers were growing, sharpening into pointed claws and hair was beginning to sprout out of his skin.

Outside there was the thundering of footsteps and he scratched on the door trying to get their attention. And then Remus Lupin fell backwards, a tufted tail sprouting as his pyjamas tore and fell away.

“No!” Lyall cried, wrapping his arms firmly but gently around his wife as she rattled the doorknob, crying desperately for Remus. Every scream was torture, every desperate cry that steadily sounded less and less human cut the terrified parents to their hearts.

“No, no, no…” Lupin groaned, clutching his wife tightly to his chest as she cried into his shirt. “Oh my boy…”

Suddenly there was a loud thud and the screaming stopped, replaced by a single high pitched yelp.

Lyall and Hope Lupin breathed slowly, straining for any other noise from the room, there was only the sound of something scraping against the floorboards and slowly Lyall unwrapped his arms from his wife. Carefully he guided her to the side where she stood trembling and watching as he cautiously lay one hand on the doorknob and held his wand up. “Alohomora…”

The lock clicked and, keeping his wand raised, Lyall very slowly opened the door enough to slide half of his body inside. He tried to steady his breathing as he stared wide eyed at the sight that greeted him. Remus’ pyjamas were in shreds on the floor and where there had once been a happy, five year old human boy….there was instead a furry brown shape huddled under the window where a thin stream of moonlight shone from between the curtains.

Vaguely registering his wife peering into the room, Lyall took a slow step forward and muttered “Lumos.”

The light from his wand bathed the creature and he saw it clearly. The werewolf was small but larger than Remus was as a boy. It was coated with coarse brown fur and its breaths came in heaving pants as it huddled there with the remnants of tartan pyjamas at its paws. Its hind legs were slightly more raised than those of a true wolf and its body was longer. Small whines came from it as it turned its short snouted head and looked at them with the wide green eyes of Remus John Lupin.

Hope’s mouth opened and closed like a fish and her scream caught in her throat as she stumbled backwards.

Lyall kept his wand up, though unwilling to ever use it on his son. But the young werewolf cub was in its mind no longer Remus Lupin and knew only one thing. Attack. It stared them down before its jaws parted in a growl and without warning it lunged clumsily at Lyall who cried out and pushed his wife behind him and out of the room.

Not yet used to its wolfish form, the wolf fell clumsily sideways and whined before it pulled itself back onto unsteady legs and poised to leap again. As it did, Lyall slammed the door closed and staggered backwards into the wall of the corridor, locking the door with a wave of his wand.

He clapped a hand over his mouth in an effort to control his breaths that came in rapid gasps.

“H-Hope…”

His wife didn’t answer him and he hurried to where she lay on the floor. She had fainted.

xxxXxxx

The door was only opened again when the sun had risen. Lyall and Hope had not slept at all after she came to and Lyall had spent almost the entirety of the night pacing through the house frantically and trying not to hear the crashing and growling from his son’s room.

The door opened slowly. The room was a disaster. In its restlessness, the young wolf had done any damage it was big enough to do in that room. Sheets were torn and strewn around the room, one of the legs of the bed was broken, the curtain had been pulled down and there was scratches all through the wooden floorboards. There, in a pile of ripped curtain, lay Remus. He had returned to his human form and there were bruises forming on his arms. He was asleep, his chest rising and falling softly as his mother rushed over to him, unable to stay away from her son any longer.

The boy woke with a quiet groan in the warm embrace of his mother. He squinted around in shock at the state of his room…and why was he on the floor? He didn’t remember falling out of bed, even his pyjamas were in pieces, he saw a sleeve lying by the window.

“Mum…” He whimpered, suddenly frightened and cuddled into her shoulder. Had the wolf that had attacked him come back when he was asleep?

The second and the third night were much the same. But it was a full year before the truth of his condition was revealed to Remus.

xxxXxxx

During that first year of Remus’ lycanthropy, the Lupins moved towns three times.

After he turned six, Lyall sat his son down and told him about werewolves. Though he was only a young boy, Remus soon understood what his father had meant. He started to understand why they never stayed in one place for long.

Amongst the places the Lupin’s stayed in longest, was Tinworth.

Remus was seven years old when they moved in and beginning to feel the effects of his increased isolation. Each month he grew quieter and more sullen for a child that should be full of energy and fun. He ached to go outside and to have real space to run and play but was not allowed further than the yard, and not out of the house at all the closer it got to the full moon.

He loved his parents and he knew they loved him dearly, but what Remus longed for more than anything was a friend. Someone he could play with, even a muggle who he couldn’t talk about magic with.

Lyall and Hope both grew thin with worry for their son, and Lyall’s desperation to find a cure saw him return home much later in the evenings and preoccupied most of the time.

If the Ministry learned of an uncontrolled werewolf, he didn’t know what they would do to his son. He would lose his job immediately, the prejudice against werewolves, of which he had once been a part, was higher than ever.

But with each year that Remus grew, so did the wolf inside him, each year that he grew stronger, the wolf did too. With each month, Lyall increased the security ever so much. The strength of his spells and silencing charms increased and they would have no choice but to lock Remus in an empty room during the transformations to reduce damage to both the house and himself.

It was on the third month of their stay in Tinworth, a week before the full moon, on one of the rare times that Remus found himself reading a book quietly outside in the fresh air, that he almost made friends.

Three older muggle boys were laughing amongst themselves as they passed the house. The boy with red hair and freckles carried a football under his arm.

Remus looked up curiously as they passed and was so surprised at the sight of other children that he didn’t realise he was staring at them.

“Hey!” One of the boys waved to him and young Remus looked around in bemusement before he realised they were talking to him. He pushed back his brown hair and ran over to the front fence.

“I’ve never seen you before…” The red headed boy, who looked about eleven, tilted his head and smiled. “What’s your name?”

“Remus…” Remus answered quietly.

“That’s a cool name.” A boy with blond hair grinned. “You wanna play football with us? We can use a fourth player.”

“Yeah, will your mum let you?”

No, she wouldn’t let him. Remus knew that, but he didn’t want to tell them that. He was suddenly struck by a streak of rebellion, and desperation for companionship that he wanted to go and play football with them. Nor did he say that he didn’t know what footwall was or how to play it.

“Yeah.” He nodded and waved to the window where he pretended his mother could see. “…Can I play?”

“Sure you can.” The first boy grinned and waved him over.

Remus felt a pang of guilt as he looked back over his shoulder and edged through the gate. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew how much trouble he would be in when they found out he was spending time with other children. They said he was too dangerous to play with the other boys, even when the full moon was still a week away. But the thrill of meeting new people, and playing games with other children was too great for him to ignore.

It was a pity for Remus that he never did get to play football.

Just before he could make it more than three steps away from the gate, he heard the front door close and his mother rushed out.

“Remus!”

He turned around, his pale face went paler and he sighed. He had been so close.

“Remus, come here right now.” Hope called as she stared wide eyed at her son and waved him over. When he didn’t come and just looked at her with a pleading expression that nearly made her give in, she hurried right over to them and turned him around by the shoulders gently.   
“You know better than that, Remus. Come inside.”

“But-”

“No buts.” She turned and forced a smile to the other boys. “Sorry boys, he won’t be playing with you today.” And with that, Remus was whisked back inside to his lonely childhood. Though they sometimes looked into the quiet house when they passed, and sometimes they saw him at a window, those boys never asked the strange, pale boy to play again.

One month later, when the muggle police came to investigate the house where strange noises had been coming from, they found it empty.

 


	3. Chapter Three

“Twenty galleons.” A man muttered, standing the shadowy corner of the busy pub and held out his hand expectantly.

“We agreed on ten.” The second man hissed, his greying hair hanging limply in front of his eyes.

“Look, you wanna cure whatever poor sap this is for or not?” The first man arched a dark eyebrow. “Twenty.”

Lupin groaned and peered anxiously around before he slowly withdrew a small bag containing all of what he had withdrawn from Gringotts and handed it over. He had no choice. He just prayed it would be worth it, that it would work.

The dark haired wizard pocketed the money, satisfied and reaching into the folds of his crimson travelling cloak. He withdrew from it a small vial of clear liquid and passed it to Lupin.   
“It’ll fix your hairy problem.”

“It had better.” Lupin muttered, pocketing it and resting a hand securely over the potion.   
He was fast running out of options to save his son, and the full moon was only a few nights away now.

The door to the noisy, well crowded pub swung closed behind him, dulling the noise as he stepped into the cold and rubbed his hands together to warm them before Disapparating.

xxxXxxx

“I’ve got it.” Lyall called breathlessly as he hurried inside out of the snow, tracking wet puddles over the floor as he marched into the living room where Remus sat quietly by the window. He was pale and looked as sickly as he always did before the full moon. He was eight years old, and over the years the Lupin family had tried every whisper of a rumour that may cure his lycanthropy. Nothing had worked but Lyall refused to give up until he had exhausted every option.

“It won’t work.” His son sighed and looked over with wide green eyes at his father. “Dad…”

“We have to try it.” Lyall pressed his lips into a thin line before softening and smiling at his son. Stress and worry had aged both he and his wife faster than it should be over the last few years alone. His hair was greying and lines creased his face as he sat down beside his son and put an arm around his shoulders.

“You know I want you to have a good life, Remus…” He said gently. “A normal life, where you don’t have to be afraid.”

“I’m not afraid!” Remus protested, trying desperately to make his father understand yet again. “Not all the time.” He didn’t understand that apart from being a danger to anyone around him during his transformations, being a werewolf lowered his chances for making any sort of living for himself. If the Ministry got word of him and he was forced to register as a werewolf…then the whole wizarding community would be able to find out. Very few werewolves had good lives when they were old enough to make their own way. Remus was too young to know that.

“No…” Lyall smiled and squeezed his son’s shoulder. “I don’t suppose you are. You’re very brave, son.”

“Just let me go outside? I won’t hurt anyone after the full moon…why won’t you ever let me talk to anyone?”

“You know we can’t risk it-”

Remus wriggled away from his father and pushed his arm off his shoulders.   
“No! It’s not fair! It’s not fair! I’m okay…I’m normal. I’m normal…I’m me most of the time!”

The boy’s eyes were filling with angry tears and the dark circles around his eyes stood out more than ever against his slightly sallow complexion. This wasn’t at all uncommon for Remus to act out close to the full moon. He was highly strung and tense, and sometimes he wouldn’t listen to his parents at all and sulk in his room. On several frightening occasions he had actually growled at his mother, and then immediately looked terrified at himself.

“Remus John Lupin, you calm down…” Lyall said firmly as his son edged away from him. “Your mother and I are doing the best we can for you and that’s why you need to trust me…if we can fix this…if I can find a cure that works, then you can be happy and you can have a normal life.”

Remus’ jaw shook slightly and his fists opened and closed a few times, a habit he had developed when he grew angry or scared. Slowly he let his father pull him back into a hug and went limp against his chest. His parents loved him, he knew that, but he was terribly lonely.

After a long minute, Lyall released his son and pulled out the small vial from his pockets. He wouldn’t tell Hope how much he had paid for this unless it worked, and he prayed dearly that it did, but after three and a half years of trying and failing to find a cure, hope was dimming.

“Please, son….please just this one more.”

Slowly Remus took the potion as his father unstoppered it and sniffed it cautiously. His sense of smell was well above average for a normal human, and heightened significantly the closer he drew to becoming the wolf.

Without asking another question, he obediently drank and immediately screwed up his nose in disgust, dissolving into splutters, he managed to swallow it and looked over at his father.

“I feel the same…”

“We’ll see, my boy…we’ll just have to wait.”

Three nights later, Remus howled and screamed as his body morphed and twisted and grew. He staggered around the locked room in agony as he succumbed again to the beast.

It had not worked.

As Remus thundered and roared and snarled and scratched at any surface he could, Lyall and Hope sat together with eyes clenched closed. They could not hear him, through the silencing charms, which at least meant that anyone outside would not be able to hear either, but clearly the supposed ‘cure’ had proven false once again.

xxxXxxx

As Remus grew in size and strength, the wolf did too. The enchantments that Lyall had to reinforce each room and door that held him, began to prove too weak and every few months he would have to strengthen them.

When Remus was ten years old, and the werewolf was still not fully grown, he came the closest he had ever come to really hurting someone.

It was the first night of the full moon in April. Having just transformed, the wolf howled and snarled, throwing itself at the walls trying to escape. Its hunger for fresh meat and for blood was too great to ignore, the only thing the wild werewolf knew was the urge to kill.

With a terrible howl that was not heard outside the house but echoed terribly loudly within, the creature threw itself at the door, claws and teeth flashing. The enchantments, too weak to hold it, broke and so did the door as it splintered into pieces.

Downstairs Hope and Lyall leapt to their feet as the terrible heaving pants of the wolf carried down the stairs. It shuffled its way out of the room, sniffing and growling as it searched for prey.

“Hope….get out. Get out now!” Lyall hissed, slowly backing up, pushing his wife behind him.

They heard the creature on the stairs and then it appeared all tooth and claws, looking right at them. Nobody moved, not even the werewolf for a long moment before it growled and started to stalk towards them.

“R-Remus…” Lyall whispered, his wand raised as he backed up slowly. “Remus…”

Remus was gone. Only the wolf remained, staring at them through the boy’s eyes. It roared suddenly and charged. Claws flashed in the moonlight and then it was flying backwards with a yelp as thick cords bound themselves around two of its legs.

“GO!” Lyall roared. They made it outside and he had just enough time to raise protective spells as the wolf snapped the cords easily and threw itself with an enraged snarl they couldn’t hear from outside, against the wall.

That was the last time they underestimated how strong Remus had become.

xxxXxxx

When his Hogwarts letter arrived, delivered by a handsome tawny owl, Remus had never been more excited. He would get to go to school this year, go to Hogwarts and begin his magical education at last! At last he would be with other children his age, maybe he would be in Ravenclaw like his father!

Lyall took the letter from him as Remus looked up at him pleadingly and read it over with great care.

He swallowed a lump and looked into his eleven year old son’s pleading gaze, he hated crushing the excitement that glinted there. It wasn’t safe to send him away to school. He wouldn’t have his parents to watch out, there would be no safe place to hide him from the rest of the school and they certainly couldn’t tell anyone about it.

“Remus…” He said slowly and ruffled his son’s sandy brown hair. “I’m sorry, son…it’s not possible…”

Remus’ heart sunk right through his feet into the floor and a way of disappointment struck him as hard as a train. He didn’t even have the words to argue before his eyes filled with disappointment and his jaw trembled. Before his father could say a word to comfort him, he turned and ran upstairs, slamming his bedroom door behind him and throwing himself onto his bed.

An hour later there was a knock on his door and his mother called in to him. “Remus?”

The boy just grunted, lying on his side on the bed, facing the wall. He was a wizard, he deserved to go to school, how else was he supposed to learn? It wasn’t fair at all.   
Remus sniffed and curled his legs up close to him as he heard the door open. A moment later the bed sunk slightly as his mother sat down beside him.

“Dad told me what happened today…”

“So what?” Remus muttered and hastily raised a hand to wipe his eyes.

“So, I know you want to go to…to…”

“Hogwarts, Mum…”

“-yes, Hogwarts. But…darling, not everyone can.”

Remus peered over his shoulder and glared at his mother. “But I have magic. I have a place there and you won’t let me go.”

Hope sighed and shook her head slightly. Yes, she was a muggle, she didn’t know at all how important a moment it was for a young witch or wizard to receive their acceptance letter to school.  
“Remus…” She said gently but firmly. “You would be away from us…it’s too dangerous for-”

“…For everyone else. You’re afraid I’ll hurt someone. I’m dangerous, right?” Remus muttered bitterly and sat up slowly. “You want me to be locked up forever!”

“That’s not true.” Hope said immediately and rubbed her son’s shoulder but he just squirmed away.

“Then let me go!” Remus shouted, rounding on his mother and across the room, a pane of glass shattered in the window, making her jump. “Let me out…please…I don’t wanna be an animal.”

There was a long silence, and finally Hope released a shaking breath. “I’ll talk to your father, but I can’t promise, Remus.”

The answer was still no, and as the months passed, they sent no owl saying that Remus would be attending that year.

Lyall endeavoured to give his son some kind of magical education at home, he would go and buy him his first wand from Ollivander and a few books when he could get the money together. It was a very poor substitute, but as long as they could not control the beast, Remus could not leave.

On August 5th, for the first time in years, the Lupin household had a visitor of the wizarding kind.

The tall man with twinkling blue eyes knocked lightly on the wood of the door. There were footsteps from within and he did not miss the face of the man glancing briefly out the window before the locked clicked from the inside.

Albus Dumbledore knew well of the family’s fear and of the unfortunate condition of the young boy hidden away. He understood why they would hide him but really, trying to cut off any communication entirely with the wizarding world? Perhaps they thought he would reprimand them harshly for keeping their son back.

He chuckled slightly and knocked again. “You don’t need to be afraid, Lyall Lupin, open this door.”

There was no answer but from within, Dumbledore heard the whispering of spells. Withdrawing his own wand he tapped the door lightly. Within five minutes, he had made it past each spell the desperate wizard inside had raised to keep him out.

“Now, now…” He tutted as he stepped into the empty hallway. “Lyall Lupin, this is not how I remember teaching you. You were certainly never a coward.”

Slowly, Lyall stepped out of the kitchen, his wand in a shaking hand and having the decency to look slightly ashamed as he faced his former Transfiguration professor.   
“…Professor…”

Dumbledore smiled kindly and inclined his head slightly. “I’m only wanting to speak with you now, you don’t need to be afraid…and put that down.” He nodded to the wand and walked forward with a smile as Hope stepped out beside her husband looking more than a little unnerved at the sight of him.  
“And you must be dear Hope, I had heard he married a muggle. What a delight it is to meet you.”

“Uh…Hope…Professor Dumbledore, he’s from Hogwarts. Sir…please leave.” Lyall insisted but did lower his wand. “It’s not safe here, you have to leave.”

“Oh pish tosh.” The wizard arched an eyebrow and peered over his spectacles. “Now, I think we could all do with a nice cup of tea. I’d like to talk with you about your son.”

“It’s for his own good that he stay home…and the Headmaster wouldn’t allow him to come if he knew the tr-”

“That Remus is a werewolf. Yes.”

Lyall and Hope both gaped in surprise. Nobody knew, how could he possible know? Remus could have simply been a very ill boy and kept bedridden…he couldn’t guess that.

“I know.” Dumbledore continued and peered through the doorway into the living room before making himself at home. “And as Headmaster now, I will be the judge of whether or not he may attend school….how about that tea now, and we have a nice conversation about it?”

Hope, pale and thin from the years of worrying about her son promptly disappeared into the kitchen to make tea and Lyall slowly lowered himself onto the very edge of an armchair as his old Professor seated himself comfortably on the sofa.

They sat in a silence that was perfectly comfortable for Dumbledore and at the same time stiflingly tense for Lyall until he could bear it no longer and asked. “How could you know?”

“Fenrir Greyback is very guilty of boasting about his kills and victims to his pack.” Dumbledore leaned forward and fixed Lupin with a steady look. “Fortunately for Remus, I had ears around him at the time.”

Hope reappeared holding a tray laden with a tea pot, three cups, milk and sugar. As she hurried to put in on the small coffee table she gasped and tripped over the upturned corner of the rug.

Both wizards moved at once, Lyall to catch his wife before she could fall, and Dumbledore waving his wand and righting the tray and all of its accessories before it could shatter. As it floated down gently onto the table and began to pour three cups by itself, Hope eased down into the chair Lyall had vacated. Her husband sat himself down on the arm of it and took the cup as it floated over to him.

“If you know about his condition…” Lyall tensed his jaw. “Surely you would know of the dangers.”

“Of course. Might I say, I admire your steadfast support of young Remus, particularly for you, madam.” Dumbledore smiled kindly at the muggle woman who took a shaking breath and held her head high.

“He’s my son. He needs his mother’s love.”

“Our world is cruel to werewolves.” Lyall added, “I was part of the prejudice myself. If anyone knew…his life would be ruined. So we try to hide it.”

“By hiding him altogether?” Dumbledore sipped his tea. “You’re a good man, Lyall, and you love your son very much as I can see. But he cannot be protected from the outside world forever, he will grow up. As a wizard, he needs some kind of instruction. You cannot hide the boy inside once he becomes of age and wants to leave the nest.”

“You would let him go to Hogwarts…knowing of his condition? Knowing what comes with the full moon every month?”

“I’m not a fool.” Dumbledore smiled and his blue eyes twinkled in amusement over his tea cup. “You may rest assured that I have already taken the proper precautions for his safety and that of other students…” He leaned forward and looked both of them in the eye in turn. “Whilst other Headmasters perhaps wouldn’t allow him to attend, I see no reason why he shouldn’t as long as measures are taken to ensure security.”

It took the frantic parents by surprise to hear this. Dumbledore had shown up on their doorstep and shown more kindness than Remus was likely to receive from any other grown wizard out there. In the short time since he had arrived, they saw more hope for their son than in the six years since the biting and after so many failed attempts to cure him.

Dumbledore saw as clearly as if it were written on their foreheads that they were reconsidering. His eyes darted to the side and he chuckled. “Why don’t you come out here and join us, young man?”

Remus, who had been listening outside the room for most of what had been said slowly edged into the room wide eyed. He dared not get his hopes up that maybe he could go to school after all, but it was amazing enough just meeting Dumbledore himself. This was the first new face he had seen since those  boys that had invited him to play football years ago.

“You must be young Remus, a pleasure to meet you.”

Remus fumbled for words and slowly found his tongue again, glancing briefly at his parents.   
“And you, Sir…” He meant it so very truly.

“You remind me very much of your father when I taught him at Hogwarts.” The wizard smiled and Remus very slightly returned the gesture.  
“Now, I know that you have probably heard most of what I’ve been saying…tell me, Remus my lad, how would you like to go to Hogwarts if I could promise you have a safe place to go to each month?”

 Remus couldn’t hold it back anymore, he had tried to refrain from letting his excitement show in fear of being disappointed but now he smiled widely and genuinely.   
“More than anything, Sir.”

“You can see how much it means to your son, can’t you?” Dumbledore asked as the boy looked pleadingly at his parents. “You have my word that he will have a safe place, away from any danger of harming anyone during the full moon. He will be protected and safe there.”

After a long uneasy silence Hope turned to her husband.   
“Lyall…I think he should go…look at him. He deserves it.”

Three pairs of eyes stared imploringly at Lyall who ran a hand through his light brown, now mostly grey, hair.   
“…Yes, he does.” He looked directly at his son before continuing. “…You’re going to Hogwarts, son.”

xxxXxxx

The first time that Remus went to Diagon Alley, for his robes and wand, he was so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people around that he was almost separated from his father. Everything was new for him. From the gossiping witches, to the groups of teenagers crowded around the new broomsticks in Quality Quidditch Supplies, to the owls and bats that screeched outside the Magical Menagerie, everything was a new experience for him. As they passed by the Apothecary, Remus couldn’t help gagging and clapped a hand over his sensitive nose against the dozens of different odours he could distinguish.

So caught up was he that he failed to notice his feet veering from their straight line and collided with someone. His eyes snapped forward once again and he met the raised eyebrows of a young wizard, probably in his mid-years at Hogwarts.  A girl Remus’ age, his sister, Remus presumed, was at his side and seemed to be practically glowing with excitement.

“Woah, careful…” The copper-haired boy said, and the siblings looked curiously at Remus who hastily dropped his hand from his nose.

“Sorry…” He muttered, as the assaulting smells faded slightly, and briefly glanced at each of them before sidestepping as his father reappeared.

“Remus!” Lyall called and guided his son through the crowd by his shoulder. “How are you doing, son?”

His face broke immediately into a grin. “Brilliant!”

Lyall smiled and tried to make it reach his eyes, he still didn’t like the idea of bringing Remus out with him and so had gotten most of the school supplies himself. But Remus did deserve to find his own wand, one that chose him, and needed to be fitted for school robes and so he had reluctantly agreed to bring him out with him. They had already gotten the robes and were on the way down the Alley to Ollivanders.

“Lupin!” Lyall stiffened and turned around with a worn smile to greet his colleague.

“Hello, Frederick.”

The wizard was built short and stocky with blond hair that curled around his ears. He clapped a hand on Lupin’s shoulder and rested his hazel eyes on Remus.  
“I didn’t know you had a kid, what’s your name, boy?”

“This is Remus.” Lyall answered before his son could open his mouth and put an arm around his son’s shoulders. “Remus, this is Fredrick Pettigrew from the Ministry.”

“First year at Hogwarts then?”

Remus nodded and the round faced man grinned “Well it’s my boy Peter’s first year too. Maybe you’ll see him!” He turned and looked oddly at Lyall. “Funny, you never mentioned you had a son.”

 “Didn’t I?” Lupin said tensely and patted his son’s shoulder, guiding him away. “Well we’d better get moving, got to find a wand.”

Remus’ found his wand in a Cypress wand, ten and a quarter inches with Unicorn hair as the core. Ollivander had beamed when the wand emitted a shower of golden sparks and told Remus that Cypress wands always found their matches in someone of great honour and bravery. Someone who was destined for great things.

xxxXxxx

On September 1st Remus said goodbye to his mother at the house, his trunk was packed and ready by the door and he was quivering with excitement and nervousness.

“You have everything?” Hope fussed, looking over her son for the thirtieth time in the last hour and smoothing down his hair.

“Yes, Mum…” Remus groaned, wriggling slightly under her scrutiny. “I’ll…I’ll be alright. They promised. Don’t worry…”

“I know, I know, dear…” Hope sniffed and wiped her eyes with her sleeve, pushing a dark curl behind her ear. “I’ve just never had to say goodbye to you before…I expect you to write if you can there.”

It was true, Hope had never even been apart from her son for a single day all his life. Now she was sending him away to a school in Scotland she would never even be able to see. Remus would be out of their precautions and while he wouldn’t be on his own, in her mind, he might as well be.

“He’ll write, Hope, and don’t worry…if Dumbledore says everything is safe…then everything is safe.” Lyall assured, squeezing her shoulder fondly and wishing he was as sure as he sounded. “We have to go now.”

With a tearful sniff, Hope pulled her son close to her in a warm hug, nearly crushing him for a moment before he started to squirm.

“I love you too, Mum…” He mumbled into her shoulder. “Can you let me go now?”

Remus was overwhelmed as soon as he and his father passed through the magical barrier onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters. The smoke that poured from the great scarlet steam engine flooded the edge of the platform like a fog. All around were families saying their goodbyes, students running to meet their friends and helping each other lift their trunks onto the train. A cat hissed somewhere behind him and an owl screeched.

Remus’ jaw dropped open in amazement, this was much different to Diagon Alley, the whole atmosphere was full of eagerness as people couldn’t wait to back to school or to start. He pushed his trolley forward a few more feet and stopped when his father stepped in front of him and squeezed his shoulder.

“Are you sure you’re ready, Remus?”

“I’m…” His green eyes wandered over his father’s shoulder and he swallowed. There were so many people, so many boys and girls his own age that it nearly terrified him. But he looked back and met his father’s worried eyes with determination. “I’m ready.”

“You write as often as you need to, we need to know things are going well, alright?”

Remus nodded.

“And if you need to come home…you come home. I’ll come and get you if you want me to.”

“I don’t.” Remus said adamantly and dragged his trunk off the trolley and then dropped it and suddenly hugged his father. This was his chance to finally start living his own life. “I love you Dad…thank you.”

Lyall was taken aback at first but hugged his son tightly and only reluctantly let him go when the whistle blew to signal five minutes before the train departed.

“Come on, Andromeda, hurry up!”

A girl in her fifth year with long blonde hair called to her sister, a seventh year with brown hair and the same aristocratic beauty as the rest of her family who was talking to a fair haired boy her age and whom fifth year Prefect Narcissa Black looked at with contempt as they all hurried toward the Hogwarts Express.

Lyall looked away from the girls and hurried his son toward the train, lifting his trunk onto it for him and squeezing his shoulder warmly as Remus hopped on board.

“Be safe, Remus.”

Remus smiled and waved before dragging his trunk behind him and taking a long, steadying breath as he started down the corridor.

With his heart thundering so loudly in his chest that he imagined he could hear it, and nerves making butterflies dance in his stomach, the young werewolf began to live his life for the first time.


	4. Chapter Four

The train was packed full of students, old and new, finding compartments and friends to sit with. Remus squeezed by a boy with a blonde ponytail who barely glanced at him as he shouldered his way through after the same blonde girl Remus had seen on the platform with her sister.

Though Diagon Alley had been every bit as crowded so close to school term starting, this seemed suddenly much worse. Unaccustomed to being around so many people, Remus found himself sidling into the nearest compartment he could, trying to catch his breath.

“First year, huh?” A cheerful voice made him spin around with wide eyes and he recognised the blonde seventh year from the platform. He was already in his Hogwarts robes, splashed with Hufflepuff yellow and a shining badge pinned to his chest. When Remus said nothing, the seventeen year old laughed and helped the first year lift his trunk up.

“Ted Tonks, Head Boy, what’s your name then?”

Remus finally found his voice, quiet though it was and as the train lurched, he fell into the seat. “Remus Lupin.”

“Well, Remus, if you want any help just call out. Don’t need to be nervous, Hogwarts is brilliant, I promise.”

Remus smiled a little and stared out the window as the train pulled away from the station. He was well and truly the furthest he had ever been from home, surrounded by so many people that he was quietly terrified would somehow find out about him and be scared of him. He didn’t know how to make friends, he’d never had one before.

“Ah, hello!” Ted was talking again, but not to him now. A boy with a round face, and a fellow first year, had just entered the compartment slightly out of breath.

“Can I sit in here?” He squeaked and Remus arched a dusty brown eyebrow and resumed his staring in wonder out the window.

“Sure you can. I’m Ted Tonks, Head Boy-oh…” The older boy grinned as a girl waved to him from the doorway. “Listen, I’m gonna go, you two will be fine I promise. Coming, Andromeda!”

“He-He’s very cheerful…” The round faced boy muttered as the seventh year vanished from the compartment and slowly sat on the edge of the seat opposite Remus.

Neither of them said anything after that until the door slid open again and two more first year students entered. One of them a girl with bright red hair and a smile so full of excitement it was hard not be infected by the same energy. The boy that followed her seemed almost her opposite. He had coal black hair that hung limp and skin so pale it was almost white. His face was impassive, but held the barest hint of a smile as he helped the girl put her trunk away and tucked his own, very old and worn one beside hers.

“Isn’t it exciting, Sev? We’re finally going!” The girl addressed her friend, sitting down on the seat beside the rat faced boy and the dark haired boy she had called ‘Sev’ sat beside her.

She seemed by far the most keen on talking of the four of them in the compartment and seemed to appoint it her duty to introduce herself and inspire some sort of conversation.

“I’m Lily Evans, this is Severus. What are your names?” She said, smiling at the boy on her left and then across at Remus.

“P-Peter…P-Pettigrew.” The boy stammered but smiled and seemed to relax a little bit from his nervousness. 

Remus’ mouth dried up when he felt three pairs of eyes on him expecting him to introduce himself now. He wasn’t used to anyone talking to him apart from his parents, the only other time he had even so much as spoken to any kids his age had been for about a minute when he was seven.

“Remus Lupin.” He mumbled as he found his voice and twisted the edge of his faded blue jumper between his fingers.

“Hey, I-I think my father works with yours…” Peter chimed in with a curious expression. “At the M-Ministry…”

Remus nodded. “I met him in Diagon Alley.”

Lily smiled a very white smile and leaned forward a little to peer out the window.

“I’m afraid I still don’t know very much about what to expect. My parents are muggles.” She said, clearly trying to keep some kind of conversation going surrounded by three very quiet boys.

“Neither do I.” Remus found himself saying before he realised and a little colour flooded his pale cheeks. “I mean…my mum’s a muggle too.”

 “I’m quite excited.” Peter squeaked again from the corner, and Remus was thankful for the distraction it gave Lily so that he could pull out his copy of Hogwarts: A History and try not to talk too much.

Most of the trip was spent in silence between the four, at least on the part of Remus and Severus Snape who only seemed to speak when Lily spoke to him directly. Lily and Peter, who after the first few hours seemed to have overcome most of his nervousness and stuttered less, would talk quietly  and sometimes try to invite Remus into their conversation, thinking he may feel left out. A gesture that he appreciated, but would just smile softly at and return to his book where he had read the same sentence five times beforehand.

“Firs’ years! Over ‘ere!”

Remus tried to stay close behind Peter, as one of the few faces he knew now as they were bustled off the train in a wave of students. Following the voice, which was certainly not difficult to place as it belonged to a huge bear of a man with a raggedy beard who was frankly quite frightening, he gathered with his fellow first years, all dressed in plain black robes yet to be emblazoned with their house emblems. There was, he guessed, around a hundred of them.

There was a hushed whisper of surprise and a less than hushed “Woah!” from a boy with untidy black curls near the front of the crowd as they craned their necks to get a good look at the Gamekeeper.

Remus’ eyes bulged like those of most of his fellow students as he stared at the big man who was chuckling warmly. His dark eyes twinkled in the light of the great lantern he held aloft.   
“Good bunch’a yeh this year, ey? Rubeus Hagrid, I’ll be taken ye up to the castle meself.”

He had to be more than entirely human, Remus was convinced of it, unless he had drank a pint of enlarging potion as a child. The great man led the excited first years on a separate path to that the older students had all taken, towards the shining and shimmering surface of the Black Lake. On the glass like surface of the water twinkled the reflections of hundreds and hundreds of glowing lights and Remus couldn’t supress the grin of awe that spread over his face as he looked up at the magnificent sight that was Hogwarts Castle.

“It’s amazing!” Someone cried from behind him and there was a collective gasp from most of the group as they stared across the lake.

Clumsily, after accidentally stepping into the lake, Remus clambered into a boat with the same boy who had cried out at the sight of Hagrid, and a girl with long blonde hair tied back in a braid.   
For the second time that day, he wanted to pinch himself to be sure this wasn’t all some wonderful dream and that he wouldn’t wake up in his bed in a home that he would probably leave in another few weeks anyway. So happy was he in that moment that he almost forgot about what was coming in a few short weeks.

xxxXxxx

“I bet you I’ll be in Gryffindor for sure, both of my parents were!”

Someone piped up from the middle of the crowd, putting a voice to the thoughts that every first year was wondering. What house would they be in? Who would their friends be?

“My brother says I’m not smart enough to be in Ravenclaw but I’ll show him, I’ll be in that house for sure.” A girl said determinedly to her friend right behind Remus and he arched a light brown eyebrow and sidled through the crowd to find Peter who looked relieved to find him.

“What do you think you’ll be in?”

Remus shrugged and rested a hand over the pocket that held his wand safely. As he touched it from the fabric he felt a surge of warmth rush through him and a buzz of excitement.  
“My dad was in Ravenclaw…but I have no idea.”

Slytherin for sure. A voice in the back of his mind nagged. You’ve got a dark secret, and no one has ever heard of monsters coming out of Gryffindor or Hufflepuff.

“No.”

“No…what?”

Remus blinked and flushed in embarrassment. He hadn’t realised he’d said it aloud until Peter stared at him strangely. “Nothing…thinking out loud.”

The chatter of the group dulled suddenly and all eyes were drawn up to the witch who had reappeared from the Great Hall. She had hair pulled back into a tight bun and wore long robes of a twinkling sapphire. When she spoke, her voice was welcoming and a little amused.

“It’s time now, come in…” As she spoke the doors to the Great Hall swung open and the first years formed a disorderly sort of line and began to file into the room.

It was everything that Remus had hoped and more. Four long tables, two on either side of the room thus creating a wide aisle in the centre of the room, seated each of the four houses. Grand torches carved from the stone lined the walls up to the staff table which stood on a raised platform at the end of the room before four long banners each emblazoned with the colours and animal emblem of a house. In the very centre of the platform sat the Sorting Hat, perched on a three legged stool.

Remus looked behind this to the Headmaster’s chair where Dumbledore sat with a wide smile on his face and eyes twinkling behind his spectacles just the way they had that day he came to their home.  
Though he was only young, Remus already felt a strong sense of obligation to do the Headmaster proud. He had been so kind to him just in allowing him to come to Hogwarts at all, and Remus wanted to show him he hadn’t been wrong, that he deserved Dumbledore’s trust.   
He smiled slightly as he looked up at Dumbledore and even through the crowd of students, he could have sworn for an instant that Dumbledore had nodded to him, just the tiniest inclination of the head and the briefest of eye contact, but he was sure it had been there.

 “When I call your name…” the tall witch was speaking and the hum of conversation throughout the Hall ceased as each House waited to meet their new housemates. “You will step forward, and be sorted into your houses.”  
Producing a roll of parchment from her sleeve, she unrolled it a little way and began; “Atkins, Belladonna.”

A girl with a long red braid stepped forward, even from where he stood in the midst of the crowd, Remus could see how she was shaking as the Sorting hat was placed on her head. There was ten seconds of silence before the Hat opened its brim and sorted the first of that year’s new students.   
“Ravenclaw!”

The house immediately to Remus’ right, whose ties and robes were splashed with blue, burst into a torrent of applause as Belladonna Atkins joined them beaming.

Another girl was Sorted into Slytherin and two boys into Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw before the next name rang out over the assembly, “Black, Sirius.”

Someone moved past Remus, brushing his shoulder and the boy turned, recognising the boy with the dark curls as the one who had called out at Hagrid when he met them off the train. He had a confident air about his person as he marched right up to the stool without any indication of nervousness and a small smile playing on his lips.

The Hat was silent for longer than any of the previous three students before finally, “Gryffindor.”

“Yes!” The boy shouted, bounding off the stool with a Cheshire grin, much to the amusement of a few of the teachers who were chuckling a little from the staff table. There was a loud, high laugh of derision from the Slytherin table that was immediately over powered by whistling and cheering from the Gryffindors as they welcomed Sirius Black to their table.

On it went, through a dozen more students more or less evenly distributed amongst the Houses before “Evans, Lily” was sorted into Gryffindor with a happy smile and a wave to Snape who stood just ahead of Remus.

Just after “Laraunt, Benjamin” joined his fellows at the Hufflepuff table, the Deputy Headmaster unrolled his parchment a little more and looked out over the remaining first years.   
“Lupin, Remus.”

Remus stiffened and his green eyes widened as he heard his name as though it had been magnified a hundred times. His palms went sweaty and he wiped them hurriedly on his robes as he took a shaking step forward. This was it. This was the moment he had been waiting for since he first got his letter.   
As the nervous boy approached the stool, his eyes drifted beyond it to Dumbledore as if asking for permission once more. He told himself it was his imagination, but for a moment, Remus once again had the impression that Dumbledore had just given him a little nod of encouragement. He had no time to dwell on the thought as he sat down and the Sorting Hat dropped onto his head.

“Well, well…you are an interesting one.”

A voice, which he could only imagine belonged to the hat itself, filled his head and Remus tried not to look as fearful of rejection as he felt. What if it couldn’t sort him at all? No that was absurd, it was a Hat, it couldn’t reject him altogether could it? Not when Dumbledore himself was Headmaster.

“A very good mind…” said the Hat. “You’d do nicely in Ravenclaw, but what’s this? Oh, you’re much more than you look aren’t you? What a secret you have, boy.”

It’s just a hat. Remus told himself. Just a hat, how could it possibly tell?   
There was a quiet laugh inside his head before the hat spoke again to him. “I know just what to do with you now…”

In a loud voice as clear as with all the others, the hat opened its torn brim again and called aloud “Gryffindor!”

It was barely over a minute that Remus sat there under consideration, but it felt far longer until his house was announced and he was thoroughly taken aback. He had been convinced that his secret would land him in Slytherin, or that he could find his place in Ravenclaw like his father but he had never expected the house of the brave and true.

The Gryffindor table cheered him and it was a feeling so very foreign to Remus that he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it as he sat down beside Lily. A small bubble of something started to swell in the centre of his chest. It grew larger and larger until it shone forth on his face in the form of a grin so wide he thought he might burst. For the first time in his life, Remus felt like he belonged somewhere.

The girl with copper hair Remus recognised from Diagon Alley, was next to be sorted and Annette shortly joined her fellows at the Hufflepuff table.

By the end of the sorting, Gryffindor had twenty-seven new students including a James Potter, a boy with unruly hair and glasses who had slotted himself in beside Black and Peter Pettigrew who looked more relieved to be in the same house as two people he had met on the train than anything else.

xxxXxxx

“I’m Amelia Bell, I’m one of your Prefects this year, so feel free to ask for help should you ever need it.” The girl shook her long ponytail over her shoulder and drew herself up. She was a fifth year and a shining new Prefects badge glinted on her robes as she stood in front of a small group of first years in the Entrance Hall. Her fifth-year counterpart, Barney Williams, marched by, leading half a dozen others up the Grand Staircase.

“Now stay close, and don’t get mixed up with the Ravenclaws on the way or you’ll end up on the wrong side of the castle.” She called with a friendly smile to her group of seven as she took the lead. “And watch the staircases! They’ll try to trick you.”

“What exactly does she mean by the staircases tricking you?” Lily Evans asked aloud to the group and before Amelia could answer the question herself, Remus found himself replying automatically without thinking.

“They move,” he said “The staircases change sometimes or try to trip yo-” Realising what he had just answered, Remus blushed and looked down at the floor, very conscious of the several raised eyebrows around him. “My…father told me.” He muttered quietly and kept his eyes firmly on his feet.

Someone giggled and Remus went a still brighter pink. He had only just gotten to Hogwarts and already he was embarrassing himself. What a great start that was. The same person giggled again and he slowly lifted his face and turned his head slightly to his right. There was nobody to his right. There was only a wall there.  
And then he realised that it hadn’t been another student at all and dragged his eyes a little higher and stared at the painted shepherd girl that was moving her flock through several other portraits alongside the Gryffindor First Years.  She giggled again and waved to him and, feeling more than a little foolish, Remus looked away and hurried to catch up so as not to lose his way.

As they reached the Seventh Floor corridor, they came to a halt before a large portrait. The Fat Lady.

“Password?” She asked and seemed to cast a critical painted eye over the first years.

With a clear and concise; “Monkshood” from the prefect, the painting swung forth.

One by one, they stepped through the portrait hole and into the circular passage.

As he stumbled out after Sirius Black, Remus’ jaw dropped and his thoughts were echoed by the quiet gasps of two students behind him.

The room was circular and full of squashy looking armchairs and cushions. All around hung scarlet tapestries, great paintings of witches and wizards and one great, majestic lion that roared with a regal air from beside the fireplace. Somehow, though Remus had only even been at home, this place felt more like home to him already than any of the many places he had lived in. The same sense of belonging filled his heart and he couldn’t help nudging Peter beside him and pointing at the lion.

“This is our Common Room.” Amelia said, pointing behind them to two doors that branched off the main room. “Girls dormitories are through the left door and up the stairs, boys the same through the right. Bathrooms branch off each staircase and dormitories are according to year. You will find your class timetables all set out on your beds with your belongings.”

The group dispersed, the whole room was an excited buzz of conversation as first years piled toward the dormitories whilst older students sat around the Common Room looking in amusement at the new students and remembering their own excitement to see their rooms for the first time.

Caught up amongst five older boys, Remus was no different in his eagerness as they reached the very first door on the right marked “First Years”. Black, who was at the front of the group pushed the door open first and with a loud whoop ran to claim the first bed he saw.

“This one’s mine!”

“Uh…th-that’s my trunk…” Pettigrew squeaked, pointing to the end of the bed Black had just jumped upon where the initials P.P were emblazoned in silver on a new trunk.

The dark haired boy rolled off the great four poster bed with a sigh and immediately set about searching for his place.

A glowing stove in the centre of the large dormitory heated the whole space and Remus’ skin glowed orange as he moved past it, bathed in the red warmth.

He recognised his trunk easily, it was certainly the oldest trunk of that years group of thirteen boys. It was old and starting to look worn and scuffed but served its purpose perfectly well. The initials of his full name, R.J.L , had been added on over the faded, L.L. when his father had finally relented and let him come. In comparison, James Potter’s trunk, to the immediate right of Remus’ bed, was made of a high quality ebony wood and had clearly just been bought for him recently.

The bed looked lush and inviting. It was far larger than anything Remus was used to. A grand, four poster bed complete with scarlet drapes tied to each of the posters that could provide a curtain should the sleeper desire it. The bed was neatly made with crimson covers and pillows of the softest feathers.  Spread out over the bed were his school robes, emblazoned with Gryffindor’s lion, and a scarlet and gold striped school tie. Remus picked this up and ran it through his fingers, enjoying the feel of the satin.

He was really here, he was really in Hogwarts and he was really in Gryffindor house. His days of being locked up and hidden away were over…now he could make friends and make his own way. The eleven year old smiled and sunk onto the mattress. All around him the other boys were laughing and talking quietly to friends they had already made, Remus only quietly glanced over as a soft thump caught his attention and Sirius finally found his bed on his other side. Something suddenly whistled past his head and he jumped as the pillow, thrown by James, struck Sirius right in the face.

The young werewolf’s lip twitched and he stood up again and wandered closer to the window beside his bed where the moon was beginning to peer out from behind the cover of clouds.

Being here had almost made him forget that he had only a few weeks until the full moon.


	5. Chapter Five

Remus awoke to a buzz of activity in a large bed with a mattress so soft that he wasn’t sure where he was for a long moment as he opened his eyes and looked blearily across the room. Almost opposite from him, Peter Pettigrew was sitting on the edge of his bed and stretching. Suddenly Remus remembered where he was and a surge of excitement filled his chest. In one swift movement, he threw the covers off and sat upright. He was at Hogwarts, he was in a shared dorm with other boys his own age. As he looked out the window, he laughed quietly at the sight. The boys dormitory overlooked the grounds of Hogwarts to the Forbidden Forest, no longer was he waking up to a dismal view of a quiet countryside that changed every few months with each new home. A countryside that he was never really able to see but from his window. Hogwarts was going to become a home for him now.

Someone yawned and he looked over briefly at Sirius Black who was just rolling out of his bed looking sleepy.   
Slowly each of the first year boys woke and rose, but there was little more than quiet “Good morning”s spoken between any of them as they started to dress for their first day of classes.

Until, “Anyone know how to tie a tie?”

Everyone looked around, Remus in the middle of pulling his school vest over his neatly buttoned up shirt to see Peter Pettigrew fumbling with his tie around his neck. Nobody knew, but before they could say as much the problem amended itself. Pulling itself from the round-faced boy’s hands, the striped tie wound itself into a loose, perfectly tied tie around his neck. Peter squeaked in surprise and one of the other boys across the room laughed appreciatively.

Testing it, Remus slowly slid his tie around his neck and sure enough, it pulled itself from his fingers and tied itself for him too. With a grin he somewhat clumsily tucked it under his collar and beneath the vest.

“I love magic…”

“You sound like you’ve never seen it before.” Black chimed where he was lacing up his shoes.

“My mum’s a muggle.” Remus explained. “She doesn’t mind but…we don’t really use magic for everything at-at home.”

“So you know all about muggle things then?” Black grinned and Remus lifted his bag, shaking his head slightly.

“No…not all that much.” Remus muttered, putting his satchel over his shoulder and keenly examining the class time table. Not wanting to be left behind and hopelessly wandering around, he hurriedly slipped it back into his bag and hastened after three other boys leaving for breakfast.

Being the first morning, the Great Hall was full of students all with proper uniform, excitedly chattering amongst themselves about the first day back to classes over plated piled high with eggs, toast and sausages.

Remus slipped into a vacant spot on the bench just as his stomach growled hungrily. Pitchers of pumpkin juice, milk and water were spread out amongst the food, along with teapots that steamed merrily over plates of eggs. This was only breakfast. Were all the meals at Hogwarts this decadent?

“Wh-What class do we have first?”

Remus looked around with teeth midway through a piece of buttered toast as Peter found a seat beside him. Dragging his bag up onto the bench between them, he dug out his timetable and examined it again.

“Transfiguration.”

“Oh…” Pettigrew looked worried. “My f-father says it can be quite hard.”

“It’s first year, how hard can it be?” A new voice interrupted as James Potter appeared on the other side of the table with Sirius Black at his side, pushing his glasses up his nose and loading his plate up with food. He could quite easily not have been first year with the confidence that seemed to radiate from him.

“I’m telling you, my mum is gonna kill me when she finds out I’m in Gryffindor.”

“Why?” James asked, turning his head to Sirius who, despite his statement, was grinning.

“Well the rest of the Blacks have all been in Slytherin. I can’t wait to see her face.”

Remus didn’t pay much attention as the two boys opposite him struck up conversation and busied himself instead on his breakfast, choking the food down his throat that had suddenly gone dry again. The sausages had no taste for him, too overdone for his liking, which had altered significantly over the years. He preferred his meat more on the red side now, unusual as it would probably seem to anyone else. At home, his meat was always cooked far less than his parents’ and he nearly always ate more of it. Despite his growing appetite as he grew, Remus was still on the skinny side for his age, without doubt a result of the great deal of stress  his body undertook every month.

xxxXxxx

The Transfiguration Professor was a tall witch with spectacles and a tight bun, Remus remembered seeing her at the staff table in conversation with Dumbledore. She had a pointed nose and a stern look about her as she rose from her desk, watching as the new first years from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw filed into her classroom.

“Good morning.” She greeted, motioning the last few stragglers to the vacant desks and crossing her hands in front of her. “I trust you are all as excited as I would expect new students to be. I am Professor McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor House, and your Transfiguration Professor.” Her keen eyes drifted over each student individually and Remus, who had taken a desk close to the wall, felt as though she would easily be able to tell what they were thinking at the moment.

“I will warn any potential trouble makers…” Here, her eyes seemed to linger a little longer on Sirius Black in the middle of the room who raised an eyebrow in response, “That I do not care much for disruptions during my class and to the learning of other students. Any misbehaviour will be dealt with appropriately, do not fear about that.”

The witch began to walk slowly from one side of the room, where a great blackboard was perched upon a sturdy mahogany stand, to the other where an empty birdcage hung.   
“You will do well to remember that Transfiguration is among the most complex magic you will learn at Hogwarts, and as such, among the most dangerous. If you fail to pay attention, you will not merely poison yourself as you might by mixing up two potions ingredients, but you may well find yourself with a table leg for life instead of your own.”

Lily and the dark haired girl she sat beside in the front row just ahead of Remus swallowed and the boy found himself shifting his legs a little uncomfortably as though to make sure they weren’t made of wood.

A Ravenclaw two desks away from him raised his hand and spoke in a thick Irish accent.   
“Will we be transfiguring humans?”

At the question, an outbreak of excited murmuring broke out and McGonagall tapped her wand on the side of the blackboard three times before the class quietened.  
“You will not need to be concerned with human transfiguration for several years, it is far too difficult and dangerous for a first year curriculum so you can all cross that off your wish lists for this year.”

Two boys let out disappointed sighs and with a fantastic swirl of her robes, the Professor swept around to the other side of her desk where she produced a long roll of parchment and proceeded to take the register.

The hour that followed consisted largely of scribbling down complicated rune symbols, commonly referred too amongst students as the “Transfiguration Alphabet”, and the technical differences between conjuring and transfiguring.

The first-year Gryffindors shared Potions with the Slytherins and as they made their way down into the dungeons, Remus tried to keep more to himself, in the much darker, closer spaces.

“Sev!”

Lily brushed past him suddenly and into the classroom ahead of him and he watched as she seated herself beside the limp-haired Severus Snape who seemed to smile ever so slightly at her and promptly moved his books from the desk beside him to give her room.

The classroom was large and square with large tables for six students to work on at a time and space enough to accommodate up to fifty students, should there be so many in a class.

Much like the Apothecary in Diagon Alley, a myriad of odours filled Remus’ nostrils and he struggled to keep from gagging as he hefted his pewter cauldron upon a workspace. He joined Lily and Severus on their table, and as the rest of the class found their places, they were joined by James, Sirius and another Slytherin boy with dark hair and a pointed nose who Remus found himself beside.

Professor Horace Slughorn was a portly gentleman with thinning, grey hair and bright eyes that seemed to hold a permanent twinkle about them. He wore a dark waistcoat bedazzled with golden swirls beneath a long and billowing coat of a deep green representing the House of which he was head.

“Good morning, good morning!” He welcomed with a warm smile and looked around at each student in turn as though inspecting them. “Goodness me, there are a lot of you this year, how excellent!”

Rubbing his heads together he, like McGonagall before him, proceeded to take the register and would every so often let out a small chuckle at a name.

“Ah! We have another Black joining us!” He looked over at Sirius who arched an eyebrow in wry amusement.

“Let me guess, didn’t think it would be a Gryffindor right?” He called, running a hand through his curly hair and the Potions Master chuckled.

“Quite right, I didn’t…”

“Alistaire Keyn…I remember your father very well, my boy, he had quite the aptitude for potion making!”

“Remus Lupin…Lupin?”

“Here, sir.” Remus raised a hand halfway and shrunk back slightly as Slughorn fixed him with his critical stare.

“Would you be Lyall Lupin’s boy then?”

Everyone was looking at him again, he could feel dozens of pairs of eyes fixed on him. Remus tried to ignore them, but behind the desk his hands had broken out sweaty.  
“Yes, Professor…”

“A very bright student, he was! A Ravenclaw?” When Remus nodded, Slughorn sighed and continued. “A pity he never devoted enough to time to his potions study, he had the talent, but not the interest.”

Remus let his mind wander while the rest of the register was being taken. His father was a very intelligent man, and his mother had often said he was bound to be just like his father. He was a quick learner, he didn’t doubt that about himself, but he wasn’t in Ravenclaw. Would the Professors who had taught his father be expecting the same things from him? Was that what Dumbledore had thought would be the case?

Struck by another wave of obligation to do the Headmaster and his father proud, so they wouldn’t regret their decision to let him come to school, Remus tried to fight back the pressure that began to press down on his mind. He resolved to do them proud, he could be every bit as good a student as his father had been…couldn’t he?

The parchment rolled itself up and leapt back onto Slughorn’s desk and the quiet, whispered conversations ceased as the Professor began to introduce his class.

“Now, I don’t want to disappoint you all, but for the first week or so worth of classes you won’t be needing your cauldrons I’m afraid…no, no, you’ll find every class has its theoretical aspects alongside the practical.”

The room was suddenly filled with the scratching of metal on wood as everybody moved their cauldrons along on their benches to make room for parchment, quill and ink.

Slughorn cleared his throat and beamed around at the students.   
“Now, I also should let you know that the seat you have chosen today will be yours for the year, and the student you find yourself beside will be your partner should group work be required and I assure you that it will be at times.”

There was a brief interlude of whispering as students looked at each other. The reactions were mixed, most students looked pleased with the result…most had taken seats beside friends, James and Sirius were high fiving. Some, however, looked less pleased and as Remus glanced at the Slytherin beside him he saw an annoyed scowl on the boy’s face. Clearly he was less than pleased with being paired with a Gryffindor.

“Now, now…settle down, co-operation can be vital with complex potions.” Slughorn chided the few students groaning. “I like to test the waters a little in my first year classes…let’s find out what you know…who can identify this ingredient for me?”

With a wave of his wand, a small bundle of plants that had rested at the front of the classroom dispersed themselves amongst the class, one to each group of tables.

From hand to hand, the plant was passed around, inspected and passed on again to the next student.

As the Slytherin, Amycus Carrow, passed the plant to him Remus took a hesitant sniff at it. The stalk was long, and green with leaves that were rough and a little spiny. Half of it was coated in a cluster of lilac flowers that was fragile and tender to touch. The smell of it nearly made him recoil and in a hurry he passed it over to Snape, suddenly aware of James and Sirius both looking at him in amusement.  
He wasn’t familiar with the plants themselves, having not had any opportunity to see or smell anything himself, he knew only his books. He tried to remember back to what he had read in “One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi”, he was sure he had seen a picture in there but for the life of him, Remus couldn’t recall the name.

Lily leaned over and sniffed it too, as if to see if it was really all that bad as Remus had suggested, she looked up at him and tilted her head curiously.

“I think it’s quite a nice smell…”

Remus blinked in amazement and couldn’t help asking, “Really?”

“It’s aconite.”

Unexpectedly, it was Snape that called out in a high, clear voice over the class and Slughorn beamed appreciatively.

“Excellent, my boy! You were….”

“Severus Snape, sir.”

“Excellent, well done. Five points to Slytherin for that! Now, what can anyone tell me about Aconite?”

Aconite. Aconite. It had another name he was sure of it.

“It also goes by Monkshood.” Alistaire Keyn called from his table, much to Slughorn’s great pleasure.

“Very good, very good, anything else?”

“Wolfsbane.”

Remus didn’t realise he’d spoken aloud until Slughorn turned his smile on him and rubbed his hands together happily.

“This is a very bright bunch we have here, excellent! Alright, Lupin, there’s five points for Gryffindor in it for you if you can tell me why it was called Wolfsbane?”

Suddenly it made sense why the smell didn’t seem to bother anyone else. Remus’ heart began to race. Would it give him away already on his first day? Wolfsbane, he knew about that. He remembered his father pouring over books for information on it, hoping to find something, anything, that could be some sort of cure for lycanthropy. To no avail. All known uses of it against any kind of beast were as poisons.

Suddenly aware of the rest of his table looking at him again, Remus swallowed a lump and raised his voice ever so slightly.

“It…it’s a muggle name. It was used in animal bait in the Middle Ages, or…or a poison for wolves, hence Wolfsbane.”

“Five points to Gryffindor!”

“Nice job.” Lily whispered, smiling over at Remus who’s lips twitched up slightly and he couldn’t ignore the small bubble of pride that started to swell in his gut.

James was nodding appreciatively, neither Sirius nor Amycus looked like they could care any less about it, but Snape had fixed Remus which a small frown as though he had stolen the words right from his mouth.

During the two hours allocated in the middle of the day for lunch, Remus took the opportunity after he had eaten to venture into the grounds by himself. With his bag over his shoulder, he marched his way out through the courtyard and into the crisp air. The sky was grey and cloudy, hardly an unusual occurrence and it was in actuality a quite a dull day, but to Remus, it was wonderful.

A brand new sense of excitement filled his lungs and the chirping of birds and chatter of students filled his ears. Adjusting his bag as it began to weigh on his right shoulder, Remus slowly made his way around the side of the castle. All around were small groups of students, some first years doing the same thing he was, exploring the school, some groups of older students catching up with friends.

Not for the first time, Remus feared that it was all a dream, that he would wake up in a new house with his parents and no freedom even to breathe. If he had a little less restraint, he would have dropped his bag and run for no other reason than because he could. He would have shouted to the world that he was free to do so and revelled in the feeling of fresh air rushing through his hair. But Remus had a little more restraint than that, he was afraid even to speak much to other people, so instead he just grinned and looked around at the grounds.

Past the stone circle, closer towards the Forbidden Forest, a great, knotted willow stood. Its leaves and twigs wafted gently in the breeze. Remus found his eyes drawn curiously to it from afar and he wasn’t alone. Sitting on the grass a little way from him, two Ravenclaw boys were sprawled out,  with books open. They too were staring at the tree.

“Was that Willow there last year?” Remus overheard and couldn’t help listening in.

The other boy, a blonde, shrugged and sat up straighter. “I don’t think so. But Professor Sprout can do wonders with plants, I’ll bet you she arranged it for some classes or something.”

“Speaking of classes, the bell will be ringing any minute, we’d better head back up to the castle.”

Remus jumped and quickly pretended he hadn’t been listening in as the boys flashed him friendly smiles and passed by. His green eyes were drawn once again to the strange tree. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something tugged at his mind that the appearance of a new, conveniently grown tree, on the Hogwarts Ground might have something to do with him. The bell rang loud and clear over the school and the young Gryffindor quickly dismissed the thought. It was a coincidence, he couldn’t be suspicious of everything or he would have a miserable time.

xxxXxxx

There was a great screeching and hooting as a flood of owls soared into the Great Hall the next morning at breakfast. Feathers dropped and landed in goblets and bowls as the mail was delivered. Almost every First Year, at least, received something. At least those with parents who understood the Wizarding Postal Service did.

Remus brushed away a tawny tail feather before it could fall into his juice when a screech from his left made him look up. A barn owl was soaring right toward him and as it swooped lower, it released an envelope directly over his head, course corrected, and soared right back out of the Hall.

Remus tore open the envelope eagerly. Within it, were two letters, one written in loopy handwriting with quill and ink, most definitely from his father, and the other in the neat, thin ink of a muggle pen. The sight of it made him smile. He knew his mother would never become adjusted to using owls as mail carriers.

He had only been at school for a day and already his parents had each managed to write whole letters devoted to knowing if he was alright and safe. He read through his father’s letter, finding it a little more bearable as he at least asked questions about what house Remus was in. Tucking them away, he resolved to write back the next day after classes.

The first week of classes was both thrilling, and nigh overwhelming. Twice a week the First Years had Astronomy, a class which took place on top of the tallest tower in the school with their telescopes. To best view the stars and planets, the class was at midnight and as a result, the first class the following morning was held at ten o’clock instead of nine as per each other day. Remus didn’t care much for that class, despite having a knack for remembering planets and constellations. They were bathed in moonlight and as each lesson drew closer and closer to the full moon, he found himself more and more drawn towards the moon and he despised it.

The one class that almost everybody looked forward to, Remus included, was Flying Lessons. It was offered only to First Years to provide each student with at least competent skills in broom handling and flight.

Rolanda Hooch was a thin, hawk-faced witch with silver hair and eyes and commanded a level of respect with every piercing look. The Gryffindors were again paired with the Slytherins for Flying Lessons and each student was provided with a school broom to learn on. Every week, they would assemble in the Training Grounds, near the greenhouses, line up in rows with their house mates and await instructions.

Having never envisioned himself as much of a flyer, Remus was pleasantly surprised to discover that he was certainly not the worst off when it came to flying a broom. Nor was he the most talented. That was a title earned without a shadow of a doubt by James Potter. From the very first “Up”, his broom had leapt nimbly into his hand immediately, whilst the other students were still awaiting their own to do the same. With a pleased, and slightly cocky expression, the boy pushed his glasses further up his nose and before Madam Hooch had given permission, was mounting his broom. Remus arched an eyebrow as his broom, on the fifth try, jumped into his hand and watched in amusement at James who was being pulled back down from hovering a foot in the air with a glare from the teacher.

“That’s enough of that, Mr Potter, you will wait until instructed.”

James sighed in distaste but soon had his opportunity to show off. Whilst several students were shaking as they kicked off from the ground on instruction and touched back down, Lily Evans had lost control of her broom with a frightened scream.

She shot up into the air like a rocket, and her broom, clearly temperamental, began to toss and buck like an animal trying to throw her off. Remus’ heart leapt into his throat and his jaw dropped. What if she fell? She was too high up to drop down safely and still the broom was taking her higher. Movement from the Slytherin line drew his attention from the red headed girl and he watched as Snape drew his wand. Immediately the teacher pushed his hand down.

“Don’t you even try, you’ll probably hit her.” She snapped, staring wide eyed as Lily slipped from her seat and was holding on for dear life. Snatching up her own broom, Madam Hooch kicked off from the ground…but not as fast as the First Year Gryffindor with messy black hair, and glasses.

James Potter shot past her before she could reach Lily herself, and with an ease that came only from one so young as a result of a natural talent, turned his broom and hovered at Lily’s side.

“Grab my hand!” He called, pulling one hand from his broom and stretching it out toward Lily who shook her head and screamed as the broom bucked again and tried to shake her off.

“I can’t! I’ll fall!”

“I’ll pull on you my broom, trust me, I can do it!”

James’ fingers closed around her wrist and with a frightened sob, the young witch let go and held tightly to his. Everyone watched, wide eyed and open mouthed as, with an incredibly amount of strength and momentum for an eleven year old boy, James did indeed manage to swing her half onto his broom which dropped with the extra weight.

Slowly, and gently, they coasted to the grass and Lily’s feet touched as lightly as if she had been a bird.

The Gryffindors, and several of the Slytherins broke into applause and cheering as James dismounted. The feral broom had long since shot off on its own and was whizzing carefree in circles around the Ravenclaw Tower.

“My dear girl, are you alright?” Madam Hooch swooped in, putting an arm around Lily’s shoulders who had gone pale from fright.

She nodded hastily and looked over at James who was now surrounded by their housemates, receiving high fives and claps on the back with a grin as wide as a dinner plate on his face.  
“I-I-yes…thank you!”

“You’d better sit down, I think, you don’t have to participate in the rest of the class.”

Lily nodded shakily again and moved away to the side, sitting down on the grass as Severus Snape and another girl from Gryffindor hurried over to her.

“As for you…”

The crowd dispersed and Remus was brushed past as if he didn’t exist as the teacher swept her way over to James who looked up at her with a broad smile.

“That was thoroughly foolish, Mr. Potter…” Her bird like face twitched into a small smile. “But very brave…you have obvious talent for flying. Ten points to Gryffindor for initiative.”

“He’s very good isn’t he?” Someone whispered to Remus and he nodded, looking over at the bespectacled boy who grinned in his direction and gave the thumbs up. For a moment, Remus thought he was looking at him, but then someone pushed past him on his right and he looked to see Sirius returning the gesture.

xxxXxxx

For the first two weeks of his magical education, Remus kept mainly to himself. He would sometimes sit with Peter Pettigrew at meals or in a class, but barely spoke unless he was spoken too. Slowly, he began to get into the rhythm of classes and meals and spent most of his evenings reading books for his classes in the corner of the Common Room or writing a letter to his parents.

He told them all about Gryffindor, and how he now knew the son of the Ministry wizard he had met with his father in Diagon Alley. He told them about how James Potter had saved Lily from a rogue broom, and how strict McGonagall was as a teacher. With each letter, he had written four times now, he finished with the same sentence. “I’m alright, don’t worry about me. I can handle this myself now.”

He had a particular interest in Defence Against the Dark Arts, where they were taught about magical creatures, of the darker species, and curses and how to defend oneself against them. They were learning about gnomes, or Gernumbli Gardensi. Nasty little creatures that infested gardens attacked the ankles of any passing folk.

The Professor was a new one, Helvia Ambrosia. She was a tall, middle-aged witch with kind blue eyes and a unique ability amongst teachers, to keep her students engaged with good humour. Despite her kind nature, however, she was notorious for her homework assignments.

Remus left the classroom, still cramming his book back into his bag. It was only a few days before the full moon and his affliction had begun to take its toll. He was paler and moodier, and when Peter had leaned over to ask when the homework was due-in a week’s time- he had snapped at him and told him to start paying attention himself.

Peter had left the classroom ahead of Remus with a hurt look. Were he in a more agreeable mood, Remus would certainly have apologised. The book slipped from his hands and landed open on the floor. He sighed and knelt to pick it up, jostled slightly as the rest of the class tutted and milled around him. He was in their way again. He was always in somebody’s way.

With his head down and his breath beginning to come in short spurts, Remus broke away to the side as soon as the students flowed into the wider corridor.

“Mr. Lupin!”

He froze and turned with wide green eyes. McGonagall was making her way towards him. What had he done wrong?

“Yes, Professor?” He asked quietly as she caught him up and handed him a slip of parchment.

“Professor Dumbledore would like to see you in his office.” She replied curtly, her eyes piercing him knowingly. “Come with me…”


	6. Chapter Six

Each step towards the Headmaster’s office was slow and painful as Remus followed his Professor. Despite the chattering crowds of students on their way to lunch, he could hear each step he took land loudly on the stone floor. If paranoia had a sound, he was sure it would be that. He didn’t even entertain the thought that the Headmaster would want to see him for any good reason.

The strap of his bag began to pull tightly on his left shoulder and, somewhat awkwardly, he shifted it to his right. McGonagall said nothing, walking a few paces before him so, for the third time, he unfolded the parchment she had handed him and read the words on it. In sloping handwriting, it simply read;

_Mr. Lupin,_

_There is a matter regarding your arrangement that I would like to discuss with you immediately._

There was no name below, or signature, but even if McGonagall hadn’t delivered it herself, he was sure he would have known at once that it could be no other than Dumbledore.

The Transfiguration Professor came to a halt so abruptly that Remus almost walked right into her back and only caught himself at the last moment. He stepped sideways and looked with dread at the great gargoyle that greeted him with a critical look and a slight incline of the head.

McGonagall cleared her throat and in a cool, clear voice, spoke the words, “Phoenix feather.”

The Gargoyle fixed her with a stony expression, nodded once and stepped to the side, revealing to their eyes a spiral stairway. Feeling McGonagall’s eyes on him, Remus looked from the statue to her and she raised her eyebrows.

“Well, go on. And don’t forget to knock before you enter.”

She meant him to go ahead, he realised, and she did not seem to be coming with him. Remus nodded at her and managed, in a hoarse voice, a “Thank you.” Before advancing forwards and beginning the climb up the stairs.

As he stepped off the stairs, Remus came face to face with a large, study wooden door. In the centre, a golden knocker in the shape of a bird was fastened. With shaking hands, the young boy lifted it and knocked three times on the door. Almost immediately there was a soft “Come in.” from within and the door swung inwards to admit him before Remus could so much as push on it.

His heart thundered in his chest as he stepped into the room and turned to watch the door close itself before peering around at the great, circular office he found himself in. The walls were surrounded with paintings of previous Headmasters and Headmistresses who turned their heads to look at him curiously as he entered. Shelfs were filled with all manner of books that Remus could only imagine were not to be found in the Hogwarts library for student perusal. The thing that drew his eye back to it though, despite the undeniable warmth and beauty of the office, was the stunning bird that sat perched before Dumbledore’s desk. Its feathers were a magnificent scarlet and gold, and it let out a soft cry as Remus looked at it.

“Good morning, Remus.”

Remus jumped and tore his eyes away from the bird and to the Headmaster who was looking at him in amusement from behind a spindle legged desk. He lay aside a grand, ebony coloured quill and crossed his hands lightly atop the parchment he had been writing on.

“Y-You asked to see me, Professor Dumbledore?” Remus found his voice and waited until Dumbledore gestured with his hand to the chair opposite him before moving closer.

“Yes, yes I did. Have a seat, my boy.”

Remus did so, but in his nerves only perched himself on the edge of the seat.

Dumbledore chuckled and peered over his pointed nose and spectacles knowingly.   
“Now, now, you don’t need to be so nervous. I promise that I won’t bite you.”

Perhaps it was the proximity of the full moon that caused it, but Remus’ tongue ran away without his consent. “It’s not you that I’m worried about biting anyone, Professor.”  
His eyes widened as he realised what he had just spoke aloud and he immediately bit his tongue and looked immensely ashamed with himself. “I’m sorry…”

To the great relief of the first year, Dumbledore just laughed and shook his head kindly.   
“That’s perfectly alright, Remus…but do trust me when I tell you that I don’t intend to expel you. I suspect that’s what you’re concerned this is about.”

The wave that washed over Remus was one of relief and he finally allowed himself to relax a little and sunk further back into the chair. He hadn’t been reconsidered already. The sound of paranoia; cold footsteps on stone floors; that had echoed in his mind for the last few minutes finally ebbed away. But then if it wasn’t to expel him, this meeting could only be about one thing.

His relief must have been written all over his face, because Dumbledore continued when the boy held his words.

To offer some kindness, and to ease the poor boy’s mind a little more, he did not speak about the full moon immediately.

“I hope you are enjoying your classes? How do you find Hogwarts, lad?”

Remus nodded and for the first time since he had rolled out of bed in a terrible mood, a smile crept across his face.   
“Yes, sir, I am I think. It’s…wonderful, my parents worry about me but I can’t thank you enough.”

The Headmaster’s blue eyes twinkled. “Excellent, and have you made friends with your housemates yet?”

He didn’t really have friends yet. He was friendly with Peter Pettigrew, at least before he had snapped at him today, and Lily Evans sometimes spoke to him. But he hadn’t gone so far as to say he had really made friends yet.

“Frankly, Professor, I think I’m still getting used to people.”

Dumbledore nodded his understanding and sat up straight in his chair.   
“Well, I have no doubt at all that you will make fine friends soon enough. But I am detracting from your lunch time, I’m afraid, so we’d best discuss the matter at hand…” His eyes examined the boy’s face. His complexion was a good deal paler, and his eyes marked with dark circles. He looked sickly, as he expected.

“Two days.” Remus said, cringing a little under the Headmaster’s gaze but forced himself to listen properly.

“Quite right, Remus…” The Headmaster began, “Now, as I promised, we have prepared a place for you to go for your…” He searched for a moment for the right word but before he could offer a more tactful description Remus shrugged.

“Transformations is fine, I’m used to it now, sir.”

He smiled kindly and nodded. “Transformation then. There is a passage on the grounds, it is protected so as not to easily be stumbled upon by other students, it leads to a house safely away from the Hogwarts grounds. You will have solitude and protection there.”

Remus couldn’t help thinking that the supposed “protection” was not for him at all, why would he need it? He nodded and released a slow breath.

“On the first day of the full moon, the day after tomorrow, before dinner and before sundown, you will proceed to the Hospital Wing. As I’m sure you’re aware, the staff do know of your affliction so your absence will not be questioned by any teacher.” Dumbledore leaned forward over the desk and looked the boy in the eyes, to be sure he listened well. “Madam Pomfrey will take you through this passage and there you will be able to wait out the cycle of the full moon. Do you understand, Remus?”

Remus nodded slowly and swallowed a lump of nerves as he forced himself to hold the eyes of the Headmaster however much he wanted to look away.

“I would highly advise you take a small bag, you needn’t worry so much as Madam Pomfrey will come each day to see you so you won’t be forgotten for meals. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but you will be quite alone otherwise.”

Remus nodded and found his tongue again. “It’s alright, Headmaster…I expected it.”

Dumbledore smiled. He admired the bravery in a boy so young. He had been forced to grow up so much faster than he should have, but in time, with friends, perhaps he could learn how to be his own age.  
“Good lad, then I’ll let you go now. We’ll speak again soon, Remus, I’m sure of it.” He rose from his seat and nodded to Remus as he stood too. “And good luck.”

xxxXxxx

On the morning of the full moon, a Wednesday, Remus lingered back behind the other boys as they all went to breakfast. As soon as the door closed behind James, Remus produced an old, slightly threadbare, rucksack from his trunk and tossed it onto his bed. His heart was heavy and thundering loudly in his chest as it always did the day of the full moon. He had no appetite, nor did he ever, and felt only the urge to throw up. He caught sight of his reflection in the window and sighed. He did not look at all well, something that his parents had kindly come to regard as perfectly normal. But they wouldn’t think he was normal here. What would he tell anyone who asked where he had gone?

Who would ask? He didn’t really have friends yet, perhaps no one would notice at all? Remus hoped that would be the case. At least this one time.

He pulled from his trunk a pair of old trousers, socks, and two jumpers, and shoved them hastily into the bag. As an afterthought, he added parchment, ink and two of his school books. If he was to be alone for a few days, he at least wanted something to pass the time he had in the days. Stowing the bag back in his trunk, he swung his book bag over his shoulder and slowly made his way down to the Great Hall to try and choke down a few bites of toast.

He could feel at least three pairs of eyes on him and could almost hear the unsaid “you look awful” from three other students as he slipped into his place in Potions. Amycus Carrow took one look at him and moved his things as far to the left as he could as though Remus had some contagious disease. Remus glared at him but otherwise avoided all eye contact with the rest of the table.

“Are all Gryffindors this sickly a bunch?” Carrow sneered after Slughorn had bustled off to check the progress of another student across the room.

Severus Snape’s lip twitched, unbeknownst to Lily beside him who was focusing instead on crushing snake fangs into a fine powder for her Cure for Boils. James and Sirius were whispering to one another and thankfully paying no attention to Remus who just lowered his head and ignored the Slytherins as he re-read the method in his textbook.

xxxXxxx

As soon as the bell rang to signal the end of Charms, Remus all but ran from the room. With every hour that passed before the moon rose, he felt more and more awful. Well accustomed to the changes that occurred before physical transformation, he recognised the cool sweat on his brow and the trembling in his hands that made him stuff them in his pockets to hide it as he hurried toward the Gryffindor Tower to swap his bags.

Pushing past a group of older Ravenclaws who raised their eyebrows as he passed, he made his way to the Seventh Floor corridor and stopped out of breath in front of the Fat Lady.

“Gracious, boy. Don’t be in such hurry…” She chided.

Not having much patience, Remus panted “Quaffle” and with an exasperated tut, the portrait swung open to admit him.

Barney Williams, the fifth year male Prefect had just emerged from the boys staircase as Remus hurried past him.  
“Hello there, slow down! It’s just dinner!”

“Sorry!” Remus called over his shoulder and the Prefect shook his head in amusement as the first year vanished into his dormitory.

Sparing a quick glance out the window, where the sun was steadily getting lower in the sky, Remus tossed his satchel onto his bed and retrieved his rucksack from his trunk. He just had enough time to hide it in a lump under his arm beneath his robe when the door swung open and Sirius arched an eyebrow at him.

“What’s with you? You scampered off in a hurry?”

Remus flashed a small smile and hurried out past him. “Feeling ill!” He called over his shoulder, leaving a slightly bemused but altogether unbothered Sirius Black behind him.

Only when he reached the Sixth Floor corridor, did the young boy realise he had no idea where the Hospital Wing was.

He groaned inwardly and turned on the spot, racking his brain trying to remember what they had been told. He must have looked as lost as he felt as fortune smiled on Remus at that moment and a familiar, round faced boy in Hufflepuff colours rounded the corner with a pile of books under his arm.

Ted Tonks frowned slightly and stopped midway down the corridor at the sight of the Gryffindor first year who looked so thoroughly lost that he had to offer help. The Head Boy badge gleamed brightly on his robes as he switched his books to the other arm and addressed the boy.

“Oh I remember you from the train…” He fumbled for a name, “…I wanna say…Lupin, right?” Remus nodded and Ted grinned. “You look lost, need a hand?”

Had it been any other day Remus might have been embarrassed to be lost and already asking for help, but today he was grateful for the incessantly cheerful Hufflepuff’s appearance.

“Hospital Wing…” He said, hoping Ted wouldn’t notice the lump at his side where he had tucked his rucksack. The corner of a book dug into his hip.

“I should say so, you don’t look well.” Ted placed a hand of the first year’s shoulder and turned him around. “Well, Madam Pomfrey will put some colour back in your skin. It’s this way, I’ll show you.”

Remus followed him in relief to the fourth floor and down many a corridor until they reached the Hospital Tower. There he murmured his thanks to the seventh year who waved cheerily and marched off again.

Mercifully, the Hospital Wing was unoccupied when Remus stepped through the double doors. Madam Pomfrey, the matron of Hogwarts was a kind, young witch who couldn’t have been much older than thirty. She had light brown hair tied back in a bun beneath the white cloth she wore over it.

With a wave of her wand, she remade the bed furthest from the door and turned around at the creak of the hinges as Remus entered.

The Medi-Witch never asked questions about how the students she treated received their various injuries and ailments, her priority was first to see them mended and healthy. She knew exactly who Remus Lupin was before he even had the chance to open his mouth and introduce himself. The poor boy was an unfortunate victim of lycanthropy, and it bothered Poppy Pomfrey deep down that she could do no more for him than escort him to the place he was to stay during the full moon.

“Yes I know who you are, dear.” She said before Remus could speak himself and hurried over to him with a quick glance out the window. All through the school, students would be heading down for dinner, if they timed it right, there would be no one to see where they went.   
“Come with me.” She said gently and led him from the room.

She walked briskly and Remus had to jog at first to keep up with her. Looking over at the matron he dared ask, “Where exactly am I going?”

“Well you’ll see it soon enough, won’t you?” She replied, with a brief glance at him as they made their way down the staircases and out through a courtyard. A few straggling students glanced at them briefly as they passed but if they were genuinely curious, they didn’t have the chance to ask. Remus didn’t care if they did.

In silence, they made their way across the grounds and Remus finally was able to swing his rucksack over one shoulder out of sight of the rest of the school. He looked over the grounds ahead of him and suddenly froze in his path. They were headed right toward the knotted willow he had been staring at on his first day. He had been right. The tree had been grown for him.

As they drew near, the tree groaned and twisted, shaking its limbs in a way that could only be accurately described in Remus’ mind as threatening. Sure enough, he took one step further than Madam Pomfrey, not realising she had stopped, and leapt back with a shout as one of the tree’s thick limbs swung out at him aggressively.

“Careful, boy!” The Matron said, pulling him back by the sleeve and as Remus watched wide-eyed she levitated a stray stick right through the tangle of branches to prod a knot on the trunk of the tree. Almost instantly the tree stilled, its limbs ceased their threatening onslaught and raised themselves out of the way to reveal a small opening at the base of the trunk.

“What is that?” Remus asked, still staring warily at the tree as he was prodded gently in the back as a gesture to move forward.

“It’s a Whomping Willow.” Madam Pomfrey explained, crouching down with Remus at the opening in the tree. “You didn’t think Professor Dumbledore would leave the entrance to your hiding place defenceless did you? Now…in you go. You’ll have to crawl but it will quickly be quite tall enough to stand.”

Without question, Remus pulled his bag from his shoulder and tossed it into the opening ahead of him. On his hands and knees he pulled himself through without any difficulty and promptly rolled out onto his knees. She was right, the passage inside was tall enough for a grown man to stand, perhaps stooping a little, but certainly high enough for him. Behind him, the Matron brushed leaves and dirt from her knees, illuminating her wand and bathing the path ahead of them in light.

“Hurry up now.”

They hurried along at a brisk pace through the passage, and twice Remus tripped over stones and roots. All sense of direction left him after the first ten minutes. They could be anywhere, was this all it was? Hide him underground where the wolf would barely be able to move let alone get out?

It was alright in theory, put the wolf where he can’t escape, but Remus knew that the smaller the space, the greater the damage he could cause.

At last, the passage slopped upwards and Remus blinked several times in the brightness as he climbed up into…a house?

“Wh-What is this place?”

“Professor Dumbledore commissioned it for your monthly use.” The Matron explained, looking pityingly at the boy who was growing more sickly looking with each minute. The fading light through the boarded up windows indicated it was sundown. The wolf would overtake him within a few hours now.  
“We are safely outside Hogwarts Grounds and outside the town of Hogsmeade. That tunnel is the only way in or out…” She indicated the boarded up doors and windows. “You’ll be safe to transform here unnoticed, Remus.”

Remus said nothing at first but tossed his rucksack onto a chair in the hallway where they seemed to have emerged and looked around. It was a rundown old shack. The paint on the walls was so faded he couldn’t tell what colour they had once been, if they had ever looked any better that is. A picture hung by one nail on the wall and he dragged his fingers along it, wiping away a thick layer of dust.

It was, he reasoned, a substantial improvement on one small room and many charms to contain a werewolf. He remembered with fear the time he had broken out of the room and very nearly attacked his own parents.

Involuntarily he shuddered and was distracted with the warm presence of a hand on his shoulder. He turned to meet Madam Pomfrey’s kindly expression.

“I’ll return each day with meals for you and to see that you’re alright, so don’t you fear about going hungry here. You’ll come back after the third night to school, Remus. Are you alright?”

Remus nodded. But he wasn’t alright, not really. He never was alright at the full moon, and he felt sure he never would be. In a few hours he would lose all control of himself and become the great, blood thirsty beast that haunted nightmares.

He watched as the matron disappeared again through the passageway and the light of her wand faded from his sight. Slowly he made his way up the staircase with his rucksack dragging at his side.

Rats squeaked and a bat flapped its wings in the rafters as he peered around what was obviously the bedroom. At one end of the room was a great four poster bed, which he resolved to be well away from before he transformed to lessen the risk, however minutely, of damaging it. Sighing, he pushed his rucksack under the bed and sunk down upon the mattress. He could see the setting sun through a crack in the wall and as it crept lower, a familiar loneliness washed over him.

The moon rose high, breaking through the cover of clouds, and Remus leapt up from where he had sat frozen in waiting on the bed. Pulling off his shoes and socks, he tossed them into the corner. Pulling his tie loose he pulled it over his head and proceeded to undress, tossing his uniform in a crumpled pile with his shoes. He could feel the familiar pull of the moon in the way his heart began to race at twice its usual speed, his vision began to blur and he almost fell down the stairs as he stumbled through the shack trying to find the most free space he could.

Every transformation was agonising, crippling pain that he could never fight back against. He collapsed panting beside one of the large boarded up windows and scratched at the floorboards as his nails began to grow and sharpen into the beginnings of claws. With a scream that carried well out of the shack and into the outside air, Remus threw his head back, showing his teeth elongating into fangs. Bones twisted and elongated, merging into new, much larger shapes and rippling beneath the coarse hair sprouting all over his skin. The boy’s screams grew more and more like those of an animal until at last it had consumed him entirely. The creature fell forward onto large, heavy paws, raking scratches in the wooden floor with an enraged, painful snarl.

For a few moments it crouched, panting hard and trembling with the strain and hardly moving but for its heaving shoulders. Then, in the beam of moonlight that streamed through a crack, the werewolf drew itself up, rearing on its strong hind legs and howled a terrible call to the moon.

This place was new. Nothing smelled familiar, there was even the absence of human flesh in the air that it had become so accustomed to smelling but never being able to get to. The space was larger too, perhaps weaker, perhaps it could get out here.

The wolf growled, its steps long and slow as it sniffed out its surroundings. Meat. Blood. It hungered for it, it craved it and still after so many years it was starving for anything to hunt. With an enraged yowl it threw itself into the nearest wall which shuddered and shook under its weight. Dust rained down from the ceiling onto its head, coating the light brown of its fur. It paced restlessly, straining for what little moonlight it could get through the cracks in the wall and growling at everything it smelled.  
A rat squeaked and ran over its foot and immediately the wolf snapped at it. But the scent of animals held no appeal for a werewolf and it merely ignored it when it missed.

Claws broke through the banisters on the stairs and in one single bound it leapt to the second floor, the pull of the moon drawing it as close as it could get confined in what was simply a larger cage.

It howled, and cried and its claws itched for something to attack, its teeth longed for something to bite but nothing came. No one came. Before, it had at least the scent of wizard and muggle, now it was starved even of that.   
Until the moon finally lowered and sunk back towards the horizon to give way to the approaching sunrise, the werewolf did not stop fighting to get out.


	7. Chapter Seven

The morning sun streamed through a crack between the roof and the wall of the upper floor in the shack. A beam of orange splayed down on the figure that lay crumpled in the corner. Blinking blearily, the boy woke. He groaned and peered down at himself as though to be sure he had changed back. He lifted a hand in front of his eyes and wiggled his human fingers before them before slowly pushing himself up to sit.

Remus peered around the room, old and decaying in appearance and yet apparently more than strong enough to hold the wolf securely. He suddenly realised this was the first time he had woken after a full moon, and was not greeted by his mother or father coming in to get him. His mother, without fail, was there as soon as the charms were lowered and Remus was free, to hug him and tell him she loved him no matter what he was. Since he had turned ten, he was a little reluctant to accept his mother’s affection as any young boy was, but now that he didn’t have it here, it was a strange feeling.

For a long time Remus just sat there in the corner, trying to focus his mind and remember the night. At first, he hadn’t been able to remember a thing, but as the years past, his memory became clearer and when he tried he could often recall what the wolf in him had experienced. He could look at a splintered table now and remember how his claws had slashed through the wood, or see a windowsill and remember throwing himself against it in vain trying to escape.

Finally the eleven year old tried to push himself to his feet. As soon as he moved, the pain kicked in. Every muscle ached as he started to crawl across the floor towards the four poster bed at the far end of the room. Remus whimpered as he dragged himself up to sit on the edge of the mattress and looked down at his chest. He was no stranger to bruising, and there, on his side a large, purple bruise was forming where the wolf had slammed into the wall.

Now was when his father would come, with a tonic for the pain which would ease away after a few hours. Slowly, Remus pulled his rucksack from beneath his bed and pulled on his jeans and a jumper before collapsing wearily onto the bed. He fell into a blissfully peaceful slumber on top of the covers as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Madam Pomfrey arrived a few hours later, waking Remus by gently shaking his shoulder.

She came with a tonic, like his father always did, although after sleeping, most of the pain had alleviated itself. Remus drank without complaint and hungrily ate half of the breakfast she had brought before he dropped back to sleep.

When he woke again, it was after midday. At the end of the bed, a covered tray rested. He could smell warm bread and pumpkin soup and he licked his lips absently. He finished his lunch quickly, his appetite having returned with company by now.

Remus felt awful. His skin was as pale as it had been yesterday and, despite how his stomach had hungered for food, it churned unpleasantly. The full moon had passed, but the waxing moon lasted one if not two extra nights. Sometimes it was still, in appearance, full, and he became violently ill, or on the rare occasion, wolfish in all but appearance through the night as his body rested in that unpleasant state between human and werewolf.

It was the longest time in his life, that Remus had been entirely alone.

He explored the little there was of the shack again. He ran his fingers along scratches in the walls and examined the broken banister that was in pieces on the floor now. Once, he caught his reflection in the metallic surface of an old kettle in the kitchen which was, miraculously, still in one piece and slowly touched his face. In reality, it was the face of a sickly eleven year old boy, but through Remus’ eyes, it was the face of a monster. He would look at his reflection during the cycle of the full moon and see an angry, snarling wolf looking back through his green, human eyes.

Remus taught himself to draw. Spending his childhood with only his parents for company had made for a lack of interesting things to do and so, he drew. Admittedly, muggle pencils were a lot easier sometimes than quill and ink. Even so, he sat at the old table downstairs, which fortunately he had not destroyed just yet, and drew to pass some time. The only sounds were the creaking of the old house and the occasional squeak of a rat.

When Madam Pomfrey came again in the late afternoon, to bring him food and some words that he supposed were a kindness, Remus managed a smile. It seemed the price he paid for his education and freedom from the confines of his home, wherever that may be, were a few precious days of almost complete solitude. It would be worth it. He told himself, as the evening fell again.

xxxXxxx

Remus was late. He had slipped away from the passage beneath the Whomping Willow whilst the rest of the school finished breakfast when Madam Pomfrey had come to fetch him. Luck shined upon him as he stole away towards the Gryffindor tower and he met no one on his way.  He had not kept a high profile over his first few weeks, and so lay in hope that some of his classmates wouldn’t have noticed his absence, but he probably wasn’t quite so forgettable to keep the boys he shared a dorm with from noticing. At least two of them, Sirius and James, had proven themselves already to be very vocal about their opinions.

He hurried towards the Fat Lady just as the bell signalled the beginning of classes, who eyed him a little suspiciously as he came sliding to a stop in front of her portrait.

“And where do you think you’ve been, boy?”

With a sinking feeling, he realised he had forgotten all about her and tried to simply avoid the question. What if the password had changed when he was gone?

Hesitantly, he tried “Quaffle?” and with a slightly haughty expression, the Lady tutted and swung her portrait forward.

Remus released a sigh of relief and crawled through the portrait hole. He knew he probably still looked awful, but it was nothing to the last few days. Sparing two minutes to fetch his books and catch his breath, Remus consulted his timetable and groaned. Herbology. He was already late and he had to get from the tower all the way down to the Greenhouses.

Ten minutes after class had begun, Remus came to halt outside the door and leaned on it for a moment as he caught his breath. It swung open and he stumbled to find his footing. All eyes turned to him as he entered and Professor Sprout arched an eyebrow.

"Nice of you to join us, Mr Lupin."

Immediately the class of Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors erupted into hushed conversation and laughter.

Colour flooded Remus’ pale face and he tried to focus on the teacher instead of letting his eyes wander to all of the students staring at him.  
“Sorry…” He murmured and lowered his face to the floor, trying to ignore Peter and James in particular giving him inquisitive looks. He had been ill. That was his story and he had to stick with it and hope that no one had visited the Hospital Wing to prove otherwise.

“Well…” Pomona Sprout sighed and gestured to a free space. “We’re practicing the fire-making charm today in pairs. You can join Miss. Negrescu, off you go now.”

The girl with copper hair, sporting a yellow and black tie, smiled warmly at him and waved him over. “Hi, I’m Annette…”

Slipping into place beside her, Remus smiled a little and tried to let the embarrassment of being late ebb away, to little avail. Hoping no one would ask about his absence, he dropped his bag and pulled out his wand.  
“I’m Remus…” He murmured in return and turned to give his attention to Professor Sprout.

"Yes alright, alright, quiet now." The Professor hushed the class who had all erupted into conversation again with the distraction of Remus. "You all have a pot between you. One at a time, in your pairs, I want you all to practice the Incendio charm using the method we discussed last class....no raging infernos mind you!" She warned, waved a finger in the air.

The Hufflepuff girl at Remus’ side looked nervous when she pulled out her wand. Her hand was visibly shaking. As she steadied it, she took a few calming breaths and glanced over at Remus.  
“You can go first…”

"If I can remember..." Remus blinked and inwardly sighed in relief that they hadn't had Herbology since the day before the full moon for him to miss.

Remus glanced at Annette quickly and then focused on the small pot between them. Joining other students who were trying around the room, he focused on the thought of just a small flame and said clearly, "Incendio."  
There was a small flash and a small flame flickered into being in the very centre of the pot, dancing and licking at the air. Remus grinned. He could do it.

Annette smiled just a little. She knew that he had been ill and Peter Pettigrew had asked her if he could see the assignment log that she kept so that Remus Lupin would not fall behind. The Hufflepuff girl was just glad that she able to help.

Now that it was her turn, Annette rolled up the sleeves of her robe and focused on the pot, gently saying "Incendio". If said with too much force it would end up being far too large of a flame. As it was, it was small and danced in the breezes of the green house beside the one that Remus had made.

Remus grinned as he watched the small fires flicker and dance. He turned to the Hufflepuff smiling. "I really love magic-"

A sudden roar of fire interrupted him and several students screamed. A wave of heat washed over Remus and he instinctively curled forward over the desk, almost singeing his tie on the potted flames as the ivy growing on the wall behind them burst into flames.

“Aqua Eructo!” The fire fizzled and extinguished, leaving a very angry Professor Sprout frowning at Sirius Black and James Potter.

A quiet set over the greenhouse as student recovered from their fright and stared at the two, thoroughly guilty looking, Gryffindor boys.

The pair of them were trying their hardest not to laugh, so much so Remus was sure Sirius, who had his wand raised, had done it on purpose.

"Five points from Gryffindor, Black, what did I tell you about being careful?!" The Head of Hufflepuff House glowered dangerously at them, not in the least fooled into believing they were innocent.

"S-sorry, Professor..." He said through poorly concealed snickers.

When the bell rang to signal the end of the lesson, and the class began to file out of the greenhouse towards their next classes, Remus found himself jostled up in the middle of the line.

Freeing himself from the closeness as he squeezed through the door and marched back towards the castle for Charms, Remus jumped as Peter pushed his way to his side.

“Where were you, Remus?” He squeaked, struggling to catch his breath and keep up with Remus’ quick walking.

Remus swallowed and hoped dearly that Peter hadn’t had the sense to check the Hospital Wing himself, or the concern to bother doing so.  
“Ill…” He muttered and glanced at the other boy who took in his appearance properly.

“Yeah…you still look it. Did you have to stay in the Hospital Wing?”

“Y-Yeah…” Someone pushed by them, cutting Remus off from offering any further explanation.

“Watch it, First Years…” The Slytherin boy sneered, his platinum blonde hair pulled back into a short ponytail. He had cold eyes and skin the colour of marble.

Remus glared at him, but the Slytherins were gone as suddenly as they had appeared, pushing their way through the crowd like they fancied themselves the elite.

They filed into Charms with the Ravenclaws, filling up the long benches. Peter’s bag dropped onto the desk with a thud, and Remus frowned slightly at him as the boy began to rifle through it.  
“What are you-”

“Here…” The rat-faced boy pulled a crumbled piece of parchment from his bag and handed it to Remus with a smile. “I didn’t think you’d want to fall behind.”

The note was written in a very untidy scrawl that Remus had to squint to decipher at parts. After a moment he realised what it was. It was a list of the classes that he had missed, and the few homework assignments for them.

Remus’ sandy brown eyebrows shot up and nearly disappeared into his hair. He had thought he would rather that people didn’t notice he was gone at all, but he had far from expected this gesture. It was immensely helpful.

He smiled and tucked the parchment into his bag. “Thanks…but why?”

“Well…” Peter fidgeted and shrugged. “I didn’t think of the idea myself…and I had to look at a girl’s to get it right. But we’re friends right?”

Remus had never had a friend before. But Peter certainly seemed to think they were, so maybe they were? What did it take to make friends with someone?

“Yeah.” He nodded, “I guess so.”

xxxXxxx

“So what did you have?”

Remus sighed as he fumbled awkwardly trying to put his books away as they were jostled out of the classroom. Holding his quill in his mouth, he finally squeezed in his last book sideways alongside a roll of parchment and rolled his eyes.  
“I don’t know, but I’m fine now…” He said for what felt like the thirteenth time as he put his quill away.  
Peter was a very curious boy, that much was evident, and hadn’t stopped questioning Remus all day about why he had been away.

Catching them off guard, a loud bang behind them made Remus jump several inches into the air and whirl around quickly. Before he could blink, two other first years in black and crimson robes hurtled into the pair of them. Winded, Remus had no time to gather his feet before they were hurried around the corner by two messy haired, laughing boys.

“What are yo--” Peter started, only for James Potter, his glasses askew, to clap his hand over Peter’s mouth to silence him.

Peering around the corner slowly, Remus looked bewildered at the smoke pouring from the classroom. A moment later, two coughing, scorched Seventh Years, a boy and a girl, stumbled out. It was all he managed to see before he was being dragged out the way by Sirius Black who took his place peering around the corner.

“Did they see us?” James hissed, and Sirius, whose cheek was blackened slightly, glanced over briefly.

“No…no…”

“HEY!”

“…but they did now...” The boy corrected and spun on his heels, waving his arms madly for the others to run. “Run!”

In a whirl of robes and the thundering of feet, the four of them took off. His bag crashing repeatedly against his thigh as he ran, Remus slipped as he turned the corner. Just managing to catch himself before he could topple over as he ran at Sirius’ heels. His heart thudded in his ears as he got caught up in the adrenaline rush.

“Why are we running?!” Peter called from the middle of the pack, being pushed ahead by Sirius.

“So they don’t catch us!” James obviously replied from the front as they hurtled towards the staircase where they could be lost in the crowd.

“Thanks, I worked that part out…” Remus called, skidding to a halt as he almost ran right into James who was pushing through the door from the fifth floor corridor and to the Grand Staircase.  
Piling through, Sirius pulled the door shut quickly behind the four of them and upon exchanging a look with James, promptly burst into laughter.

Peter doubled over with his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath and Remus readjusted his bag over his shoulder as he stared in bewilderment at the other boys.  
“Wh-What was all that?”  He panted, his chest heaving as he caught his breath.

“Th—He—B-” Sirius waved a hand as he leaned against the door, evidently giving up on his sentence as he struggled to breathe between bursts of laughter. He still managed to hold out his palm and, somewhat pathetically, he and James high-fived.

Remus raised his eyebrows and reached out a hand to clap Peter, who was still wheezing for breath, on the back, his green eyes flickering between the pranksters.

After a moment, James obliged him. Pushing his glasses further up his nose he grinned toothily and explained, “Well…the Head Boy was in there with that Slytherin girl you always see him with…”

“-they were real close at the same desk, doing homework or something…yeah right-” Sirius chimed in, slightly breathlessly.

“So we couldn’t help it…and…well you saw the rest.” James beamed, obviously extremely proud of himself as he gestured to Remus who had indeed seen the smoking classroom as he peered around the corner.

The young werewolf knew he shouldn’t have been surprised. It was only the start of their first term and already Sirius Black and James Potter were hardly renowned for having quiet demeanours. Still, he found himself shaking his head in disbelief and opened his mouth to speak before Peter, having recovered his breath, beat him to it.  
“Are you crazy? You could get detention or-or lose house points, or-”

“Oh calm down…he’s a Hufflepuff and they don’t know who it was anyway…”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up in surprise at James’ comment, though he doubted that losing house points really bothered either of the pair at all. “Well I don’t think being a Hufflepuff has much to do with it…but you’re lucky you didn’t get caught.”

As one, they quickly hopped onto the stairs at the grinding of stone that meant the staircase was about to start moving. Together, they began to head up to the Seventh Floor in silence, except for the occasional snicker from either Sirius or James. To Remus’ relief, neither James nor Sirius commented on his absence the last few days, though he did share a potions table with both of them.

There was hardly a word as they all crawled through the portrait hole and marched up to the boy’s dorm to leave their bags before heading down to the Great Hall for dinner. Having been half-expecting Sirius and James to walk off and leave him and Peter, Remus was surprised when James slipped into a seat beside him at the bench and Sirius walked around the other side to sit opposite them and beside Peter. Exchanging a look of surprise with the mousey haired boy across from him, Remus shrugged and allowed himself to relax slightly as he hadn’t all day.

A day later, it became evident that James and Sirius had not only easily, but very willingly accepted Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin into their circle of friends. A circle which Remus noted did not seem to extend any further despite the fact that both of the other boys were generally well liked amongst the Gryffindors.

xxxXxxx

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_Don’t worry about me. I’m alright. It was over like any other time, except here I have more room._  
_Dumbledore arranged an old shack for me to go every month and there’s more room now than being kept in my bedroom. The matron comes in the day to bring my meals. I had two days mostly by myself just in case…you know, but that’s okay. I don’t mind. It’s worth coming here and I trust Dumbledore that it’s safe. Everyone only thought I was ill so I guess it was as good as it could ever get._  
 _I can do this myself now, Dad._  
  
_I think I’m doing okay in classes but I know it’s only been a few weeks and it will get harder, I like learning though. I told you about my friend Peter, I think. He even wrote down the homework for the classes that I missed when they said I was ill so that I don’t miss anything. I know I can catch up._

_We’re learning the Incendio charm in Herbology now, and I think I’m getting quite good at it! I love magic._

_I’m making new friends now though. James Potter and Sirius Black, they’re part of my Potions group. They’re not like Peter at all, or me. They actually started a fire in Herbology, I still don’t know if it was an accident or not and they seem to like playing jokes a lot already. But they are funny and very nice and it’s a bit less lonely now I have three people I can say are my friends._

_I promise to write again soon but please don’t send a letter for every morning…no one else has them that often._

_Don’t worry about me._

_Remus_

Hope Lupin folded the letter, only to unfold it again and scan the first few sentences for the seventh time that morning. Finally setting it down on the kitchen table she stood on slightly trembling legs to go over to the stove and put the kettle on the boil.

Remus’ letter lay open on the worn wood of the table. The parchment had been folded and unfolded so often now the creases were well on their way to being worn through, threatening to leave the letter in three separate pieces.

“Hope, please…you’re making me more anxious than I am as it is. Would you please sit down for longer than a minute at a time?” Lyall sighed from his seat across the table. Remus had barely been gone three weeks and already their house felt far emptier for it. To say he didn’t worry every single day about his son being so far away from his direct protection, would be a downright lie.

He had read the letter twice to put his mind at ease on two points. First and foremost, that Remus was safe and the full moon had passed without issue, and secondly, that his son’s condition remained secret. Remus would have no reason to lie, and had never been the kind of child to do so. Although Lyall fought hard every day not to march up to the castle doors and take him home, he was very slowly learning that Remus still needed to live his life.

Husband and wife sat in silence as Lyall read and re-read the same paragraph in the Daily Prophet and Hope resumed her rereading of their son’s letter.  
Without warning a high pitched wail that Lyall initially assumed was the boiling kettle broke the tense silence and made him jump in his seat. With shock he realised that the noise had come from Hope who had now dissolved into sobs and was pressing the sleeves of her jumper to her eyes. Immediately the wizard leapt from his chair, sending it falling to the floor with a clatter in the process, and ran quickly to his wife’s side.  
“Hope! What is it? What’s the matter?!”

Had he missed something in the letter? Had there been a second page he had overlooked and something had gone terribly wrong? Gently he guided Hope to stand, wrapping her in his arms against his chest and waited until her sobbing had subsided before he looked down at her tear soaked face and realised she was smiling.  
“Hope…”  
  
“R-Remus…” She hiccupped, twisting in her husband’s embrace to pick up the letter that had fallen to the table. “...He-he has…he has friends. Lyall, he’s finally making friends…”


	8. Chapter Eight

“My mother is going to kill me these holidays, guys…you might never see me again.” Sirius announced solemnly as he collapsed onto the cushioned seat in the train compartment. James chuckled quietly as he tried to heft his truck into the luggage rack only for it to come sliding back down.

“Wingardium Leviosa…” With a swish and a flick of his wand, Remus caught the falling trunk a foot from the floor and carefully guided it back up into the luggage compartment where it rested snuggly beside Peter’s.

“Thanks.” James grinned, sitting down next to the window beside Peter whose feet were dangling just above the floor as he sat back in the seat looking over at Sirius curiously.

“Why’s your mother going to kill you?”

“I’m a Black, remember? All the other Blacks have been in Slytherin for centuries. You know Narcissa and Andromeda are my cousins?”

“Is that the girl that Tonks is always swooning over?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty gross.” Sirius wriggled his nose in disgust as the train lurched and began to move.

The Hogwarts Express was alive with laughter and the occasional burst of colourful sparks as the majority of students from all years settled in for the ride back to King’s Cross in London to spend the Christmas holidays with their families. Students milled through the narrow corridor bundled up in coats and scarves against the winter cold as they tried to find compartments as the train pulled away from Hogsmeade station.

The first three months at Hogwarts had all but flown by for Remus and fortune had smiled on him when the December full moon had fallen only a few days before the Christmas holidays officially began. His absence a few days every month didn’t seem to have raised much suspicion yet even amongst his friends who seemed content to accept that he had been ill and confined to the Hospital Wing each time. Although Sirius had grumbled that it hadn’t seemed fair for Remus to get sick over the last two days of classes and recover in time to pack his trunk and get on the train the next day.  
“Wish I was that lucky…” He had grumbled. A comment which Remus snorted at and promptly replied, “It’s not all that great.”

James and Sirius had indeed proved themselves to be good friends to have around and one or both of them always had some witty joke ready to lighten almost any mood. Peter had maintained his loyal practice of keeping track of any homework assignments that Remus had missed, and Remus had willingly repaid the gesture by helping him with those assignments. After the first few months of consistently good grades across most of his subjects, with the occasional exception in Potions, Remus had finally admitted to himself that he might have some talent he had been reluctant to acknowledge early on. His desire to do well in school and make not only his parents, but also Dumbledore, proud of him, fuelled his preference to sit by the fire in the Common Room and study whilst James and Sirius struck up a humorous conversation with anyone who would listen.

“I don’t get why Lily spends so much time with that Snape.”

Remus followed James’ eyes to the door of their compartment where their red headed housemate was passing with Severus Snape and talking animatedly to him about her Christmas plans.  
“…Why is that a bad thing again?” He asked, raising a sandy eyebrow and glancing at Sirius beside him as the boy laughed.

“Well he’s weird…that’s why, and he’s Slytherin and she’s a Gryffindor.” The bespectacled boy shrugged as he leaned forward to push the door shut and effectively muffling the loud activity.

“Didn’t she say she grew up with him or something?” Peter piped up from the window and the three other boys all looked at him in surprise. “What? That’s what she said…”

“Girls…” Sirius made a face and spun around on the seat, leaning back against the window and bringing his feet up onto the bench between himself and Remus. “Too confusing…let’s talk about something else.”

It was dusk by the time the great scarlet train pulled into Kings Cross Station eight hours later, releasing a great burst of steam in a hiss as it drew to the halt at the platform. Sirius had fallen asleep for the last hour, and Remus had been well on his way there too, his book slowly starting to slip from his loose fingers. With a jolt as the train stopped, Remus jerked out of his semi-conscious state and Sirius almost rolled right off the seat from where he had been half lying.

“Wakey, wakey…” James teased, already on his feet and starting to heft his trunk down beside Peter.

Students began to fill the corridors and trickle from the train in a steady stream, trunks dragged along behind them and bumping into walls and the shins of other students. The four boys managed to squeeze out of the compartment in a sizeable gap between a passing copper-haired fourth year, and two Slytherins who had tried to slip out of their compartment at the same time and found themselves wedged in the door cursing at each other.

 xxxXxxx

Lyall bounced on the balls of his feet restlessly as Hogwarts students began to mill out of the train. All around him, parents and other family members called out in greeting as they hurried to meet them. Father clapped their son’s on the shoulder and mothers and grandmothers peppered their teenage children and grandchildren with kisses, much to the teenager’s inevitable disgust.

“Narcissa, dear!” A haughty looking witch with platinum blonde hair twisted up into an elaborate bun swept by Lupin, her robes just brushing the concrete and giving the impression she was gliding.  
Extending her arms just a little as she drew her fifteen year old daughter, who greatly resembled her mother, to her and leaned forward to delicately kiss the air beside her cheek. “Oh hurry up and fetch your sister, Narcissa, I can’t bear to be here any longer than necessary.”

Pure-blood elitists, Lyall thought to himself, shaking his head at the witches beside him. There were too many of those about now days and the Black family were well known in the Wizarding world as one of the more prominent supporters of “blood purity” in Great Britain.

Ignoring what was going on around him, Lyall flicked his eyes back to the sea of students still streaming off the train, his keen eyes darting over each face he could see as he searched for his son.

A moment later, a smile broke out over his tired and lined face as he spotted Remus step from the train onto the platform amid a small group of other boys. His son was smiling, despite how pale and thin he looked just following the full moon. It didn’t escape Lyall that Remus had never looked so relaxed so soon after a transformation. He lifted his arm and waved, trying to catch Remus’ eye as the eleven year old looked up and began to scan the crowd for him.

“Ugh, Auntie Druella…” Sirius muttered sourly as he dragged his trunk behind him. It landed with a loud thunk on the platform as he moved to the side to make room for his friends to get out.  He pointed through the crowd of students and families to the tall, blonde witch greeting his older cousin. “I hope she’s not picking me up too…can’t I just come back to one of your houses?”

James and Peter both laughed and Remus smiled as he hopped off the train last.  
“What’s so bad?” He asked and Sirius just raised an eyebrow.

“If you met my mother, you’d kno-hey!” His face lit up slightly as he caught sight of a tall wizard with a lopsided bowler hat that half covered a head of black curls who was waving him over with a grin. “That’s my Uncle Alphard, he’s not so bad!”  
Waving to his friends, Sirius started to push his way through the crowd, calling over his shoulder. “See you in two weeks!”

Together, James, Peter and Remus elbowed their way through the crowd trying to find a relatively uncrowded spot on the platform when a loud, booming, “Peter!” sounded through the crowd.

“Oh no...” Peter groaned and shrunk behind Remus who raised an eyebrow and sidestepped out of the way as Frederick Pettigrew shouldered his way towards the group of boys. Before Peter could wriggle out of the way, his father had pulled him into a crushing hug. “Your mother missed you something awful, my boy, it’s good to see you!”

“Dad…people are looking.” Peter whined and James had turned his back to hide his snickering at the scene.

And Remus had expected his father to overreact…” Stifling a grin at the scene, he started to scan through the crowd, searching for his father. And then he saw him, raising an arm and waving through the crowd to get Remus’ attention. The boy smiled and turned to wave goodbye to James and Peter who was still trying to escape his father’s arm around his shoulders and blushing a fierce red in embarrassment.

“Remus!” Lyall grinned, suddenly looking a lot happier than Remus could remember seeing him in years as the eleven year old sidled through the crowd towards his father.  
Immediately he was pulled into a hug, though not nearly as crushingly as Peter had been.

“Hi Dad…”

xxxXxxx

“…and we’re learning the wand-lighting charm, you know, Dad…lumos.”

“I know, son…” Lyall smiled fondly from where he sat cross-legged on the floor of the living room leaning against an old paisley armchair. Across from him Remus sat restlessly bouncing on his ankles as he talked about anything and everything to do with Hogwarts.  
Between them a hardly touched ring of marbles sat as Remus constantly forgot it was his turn and would take up to five minutes at a time to flick a marble.

“That’s alright, Remus, because I don’t.” Hope obligingly prompted, looking over her knitting at Lyall with a raised eyebrow with a chiding look to say ‘let him be excited, Lyall’.

Remus twisted in his spot, the marbles forgotten as he grinned up at his mother. “We’re learning about imps too in Defence Against the Dark Arts-Professor Ambrosia says I have a natural talent for the class.”

Lyall felt a sudden burst of pride at his son’s words, feeling much the way Remus looked as the young boy puffed himself up slightly as he looked incredibly pleased with himself. His face shone as he looked over at his father with an expression Lyall had never seen before. “Like you said you did, Dad.”

Looking at Remus now, it was easy to see past the pale, sickly exterior to the real happiness that was shining from the boy’s eyes. He looked more alive from the last four months of schooling than he had in the last ten years and in that moment, Lyall could barely fathom why he had been so close to forbidding Remus to go to school. Now they had only two more weeks with him before he would be back at Hogwarts until June.

“Well, I’m glad you got to go, Remus…” Hope smiled fondly as she stood up. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you now…but I want to hear all about your friends after dinner.”

They had a sizeable meal of sausages and mashed potatoes, in which Remus’ share was left near raw as he had preferred his meat for years, something which Hope wasn’t entirely sure she would ever become accustomed to. The subject of Remus’ transformations was not broached until well after the meal when Lyall drew his son aside into the hallway near the door.

“Remus, I want to talk to you…”

Remus wrinkled his nose slightly, tugging on the sleeves of his jumper as his father drew him aside quietly. He knew exactly what this would be about and he had hoped to avoid the subject for a little longer, but he supposed at least it would be over.  “Dad, I’m okay, I can handle it…”

Lyall sighed and rested his hand lightly on Remus’ shoulder, “I know, I know what you’ve been saying, son. I just want to make sure it’s safe.”

“It’s a lot safer there than being locked in my bedroom and moving every month…” Remus muttered bitterly as he looked down at his shoes, scuffing off a piece of gravel that had stuck there. He was getting far too strong now for his father’s protective charms to contain him completely as had been evidenced before.  “I-I mean…it has more room.”

“I know, and I believe you…that’s not what I wanted to say, Remus.”

Remus just waited, looking tiredly at his father and Lyall knew how exhausted he probably was. It had been a long day for any young boy, let alone Remus. Sighing, the aging wizard patted his son’s shoulder. “They believe you, don’t they?”

“When I lie?” Remus wrinkled his nose slightly and looked at the floor again. “Yeah, everyone just thinks I’m really sick.” Before he went to Hogwarts and left the closed doors of his home life, Remus had never had to hide anything. Now they were all terrified of what would happen if anyone found out. Remus hated lying, especially now to his friends, but if they knew the truth, they would call him a monster and leave him with nothing again.

 Lyall forced a smile. They might believe him now but if he kept making the same excuses, they would quickly start to wise up. But he didn’t want to spoil his son’s holiday before it had even started. Sighing, he rubbed Remus’ shoulder and smiled fondly. “Good…I’m just glad you’re happy.”

xxxXxxx

The Christmas holidays went by in a blur, and it seemed that Hope was saying goodbye to her son all too soon at the beginning of the New Year.  
The Lupin family had never had much money. Between the many times they had moved houses, and how desperate Lyall still was to search for a cure for lycanthropy, often spending more than he earned at the Ministry in vain. His reputation had never recovered even after six years since his angry outbursts about werewolves that had resulted in disastrous consequences, and he had made no effort to reclaim it for fear of exposing Remus somehow.  
Remus fastened his coat by the front door, his repacked trunk at his feet and wand tucked away in his jeans. “Come on, Dad!”

“I’m coming…I’m still looking for my gloves…” Lyall’s muffled voice came from where he was leaning right into the linen cupboard in search of his missing gloves. “This is ridiculous…Accio-”

“You could use magic, or you could ask your wife, Lyall Lupin.” Hope chided as she swept out into the hall and smiled down at Remus, holding her husband’s gloves in one hand.

A moment later, Lyall reappeared with a sheepish expression and ruffled his son’s light brown hair. Plucking the gloves from his wife’s hand he affectionately pecked her cheek before pulling them on and fastening his travelling cloak around his shoulders.  “Thank you, dear…we’d best be off then.”

Hope shook her head a little at her husband and rolled her green eyes before turning to Remus and pulling him into a hug. “I’ll miss you, Remus. You be safe for the rest of the term…and tell me everything.”

“Yeah…sure, Mum.” Remus promised, pulling away with an excited grin and hefting his trunk up onto its end, starting to push ahead of his father towards the door.

Hope smiled fondly, brushing a few of her dark curls behind her ear before gasping suddenly. “Oh! I almost forgot, wait a minute…” Thrusting her hand into the pocket of her apron, she pulled out a small, thin, rectangular object wrapped in gold foil and held it out to Remus who recognised the chocolate with a grin.  
“Really?”

“It’s the ‘muggle’ kind…the one you like. So your friends might not have had it before…I don’t know, Lyall, is it much different to…the other kind?” Hastily she waved her hand to dismiss the point and smiled a watery smile at the way Remus’ eyes lit up more. “I thought…you might like it for…”

“Thank you, Mum…” Remus said sincerely as he tucked the chocolate into his pocket and grinned at his mother. It might seem insignificant to anyone else, but it was special to him. After every full moon since he turned seven, when she would come in to see him in the morning, his mother always brought him a piece of chocolate to try and help cheer him up.

 xxxXxxx

“You remember what I said, son?”

Remus sighed and looked impatiently at the train as the first whistle blew. “Dad….”

“Do you remember?” Lyall pressed, keeping a ran on Remus’ shoulder and looking at him pointedly until the eleven-year old finally looked back at him and nodded.  
  
“Yeah, I can’t keep saying I’m sick all the time…I know. I remember what you told me to say.” He sighed as he relented and raised both sandy eyebrows at his father. “I promise…now can I go?”

Lyall forced a smile and released his shoulder, nodding down at his son before straightening up and gesturing to the train with a tired sigh. “Go on, then…I can let you go. Off you go, Gryffindor.”

With a grin, Remus started to jog towards the Hogwarts Express, dragging his trunk along behind him and waving over his shoulder to his father. A bubble of anticipation began to swell in his stomach like it had on his first day of Hogwarts.  

Hurrying down the corridor of the train, amid the same torrent of students that had been coming the other way two weeks again, Remus peered in windows as he went, trying to find any of his friends. So intent was he on finding them, he almost collided headlong into Lily Evans coming the opposite way down the corridor.  
“Woah! S-Sorry.” He stammered, wide eyed as they both took a step back and caught their breath.

Lily only smiled and shook her head, her mane of red hair swishing from side to side. She wore a woollen blue and green tartan skirt over thick stockings.  “Don’t worry about it. I should been watching where I was going too. How was your Christmas, Remus?”

“It was…quiet.” Remus grinned as he answered truthfully. “There’s only my parents and me. But it was nice. How about you?”

The girl nodded casually and pressed herself closer to the wall of the corridor to let a few older students pass them. “It was really nice, my parents were really excited to hear about Hogwarts…my sister wasn’t so much. Did you Mum ask you all about it too? She’s a muggle isn’t she?”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up, a little surprised that Lily had remembered that little fact he had mentioned on the train on the very first day. “Yeah, yeah she did.” He grinned and opened his mouth to say something else when a piercing whistle sounded a few compartments down and he looked over Lily’s shoulder to see Sirius leaning out of the door and waving him over.

Lily turned to peer over her shoulder at the noise and rolled her eyes before turning back to Remus. “I think that would be your friends calling-oh, you didn’t see Severus down there did you?”

“I think a few compartments down…I can’t be sure though.” He gestured with his thumb over his shoulder before starting to sidle around Lily who waved her thanks and kept going the opposite way.

Dragging his trunk down the corridor, Remus slipped into the compartment Sirius had waved from to find that he and Peter were already there.

“Hey, you’re still alive…” He grinned at Sirius who flashed a toothy grin back. “James isn’t here yet?”

Peter shook his head as Remus started to heave his trunk up onto the luggage rack.  
“Nope…I’m not sure wh-where he is, the train’s about to leave.”

“Relax, Peter, he’ll get here, it’s James. You think he’d miss going back to Hogwarts?” Sirius waved his hand, wearing a new black coat that reached his knees as he sat down by the window. With a lurch and another loud whistle, the train began to pull away from the station and Sirius’ grin dropped slightly as he exchanged a look with Remus. “Oh…”

In unison, Remus and Sirius tried to peer out the window in vain trying to see a messy haired, bespectacled boy leaping onto the train. It was to no avail and wincing slightly, Remus dropped into the seat opposite Sirius.  
“Well…he’s probably on the train, right?”

“I hope so…” Peter squeaked, biting his lip nervously.

“Yeah, ‘course he is…” Sirius waved a dismissive hand, pulling a bit of a face as he leant back in his seat.  

“So, what did you get for Christmas?” Peter chimed in, changing the subject and looking curiously at the books Remus had set down beside him.

“Uh…these.” Remus smiled slightly, handing over the two books for Peter to look at. Knowing his talent and interest in Defence Against the Dark Arts, his father had found him a new copy of ‘A Compendium of Common Curses and Their Counter-Actions’ and on his mother’s request,  
“David Copperfield?” Peter wrinkled his nose in confusion as he turned over the novel with a mint green cover with comical drawings of the characters. “Who’s that?”

“It’s a…muggle book.” Remus smiled, “My parents gave them to me. I like to read.”

“Yeah I noticed…” Sirius laughed before standing up and opening the compartment door to peer both ways down the corridor. “Where _is_  James?”

Remus exchanged a shrug with Peter and frowned slightly. He’d just opened his mouth to speak when words were lost and he was struck dumb as he saw an unopened chocolate frog slowly pulling itself out of Sirius’ pocket. Sirius did not seem to notice the floating confectionery at first as he turned around.  
His grey eyes darted first to Remus and then to Peter who both wore identical expressions of shock. “You look like you’ve seen a troll…wh-ARGH!” The dark haired boy leapt several inches into the air, his curls flying everywhere while his hands flew to his face to bat away the escaped chocolate frog that had leapt from seemingly nowhere and into his face.

“What in the name of Merlin’s-”

From the corner, in which no one seemed to be sitting, a voice burst into hysterical laughter and slowly all three boys turned to stare, thoroughly unnerved and confused.

“…Peeves doesn’t haunt the train, does he?” Sirius warily withdrew his wand, and slowly stepped closer. With the elegance of a professional duellist, he jabbed his wand out and into something. Something which yelped in response. A second later, much to the surprise of all his friends, James Potter appeared, head first before whatever enchantment he had been under fell away and he rubbed at his head.

“You didn’t need to jab me!”

For a long moment there was dead silence in the compartment save for the huffing of the train as it entered the snow covered countryside.  As one, Sirius, Peter and Remus all broke into half finished, disbelieving sentences.  
“Where did--”

“How did you--”

“Let me have a go--”

James grinned as though he had just personally won the House Cup and stood up. His legs flickered in and out of visibility with the movement as he held out a shimmering sort of cloak.  
“I got it for Christmas! Best present ever! It’s an Invisibility Cloak.”

“Where did your parents get _that_  from?! They’re really rare!” Peter’s jaw dropped and reached out a hesitant hand to touch the cloak.

“I’ll say…” Sirius grinned, though not nearly as widely as James whose grin was so wide it could have leapt off his face and become a separate entity. “Can I have a go?”

James considered it for a moment before handing over the cloak and bouncing on the balls of his feet as Sirius swept it around his shoulders, plunging his body from the neck down into invisibility.  
“It’s cool, huh! Imagine what we could do with it.”

“My body’s gone!” Sirius hollered loudly, with a triumphant whoop as his apparently floating head turned around, looking excitedly at where his feet should have been. After a moment he pulled it off and tossed it back over to James who bundled it up in his arms as they all sat down again.

“Tell you what, Hogwarts is about to get even better…”


	9. Chapter Nine

 

“I have to say I was very impressed with all of your ‘lumos’ charms last lesson, you’ve all improved vastly. Well most of you…” Professor Helvia Ambrosia paused in her travels between the rows of desks as she paced the room. Stopping right beside Peter Pettigrew and looking pointedly down at him. “I suggest that some of you keep practicing.” Sweeping her deep crimson robes around her ankles as she turned on her heel and strode back to the front of the classroom, the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher smiled and tapped her wand on the pile of rolled up essays on her desk which immediately began to distribute themselves to their authors.

“Overall, I was relatively pleased with your essays…however…some of you certainly have more work to do.”

There was a rustle of parchment as the mixed class of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws unfurled their scrolls. A mixture of sighs, groans and pleased reactions momentarily filled the classroom as students checked their grades.  
“Hey!”

“Yes, well done Mr. Black…see, you can do well when you apply yourself.” Professors Ambrosia smiled, paused beside the desk that Sirius was sharing with Remus and tapping her wand on his desk.   
As soon as she moved away, Sirius packed up his essay and leaned over to nudge Remus. “Yeah, but who can be bothered to apply themselves?”

Remus smiled and rolled up his parchment modestly without sharing that he had received top marks, and leaned down to tuck it into his bag on the floor before leaning forward to rest his elbows on the desk as the Professor made her way back to the front of the classroom again.

“Now…today I’ll be giving you an introduction into a topic which we won’t be exploring again until third year and today we won’t be going into any great depth on it…” She paused to cast her blue eyes around the room at the class whose chattering was slowly beginning to diminish. “Werewolves.”

_Snap_. Remus’ hand tightened reflexively on the quill he had been holding and before he realised he was doing it, it had snapped in two in his fingers. He could feel Sirius staring at him, and the Ravenclaws on the desk to his right curiously doing the same.  
His face flushed a violent red as he lowered his head to hide and murmured quietly. “Oops...” Before he could hide and bury himself in his bag to find a new quill, Sirius nudged him.

“Here…” He whispered, holding out his quill to Remus who gratefully took it. “What was _that_?”

“Specifically, werewolf bites.”

The room might as well have shrunk to the size of a matchbox around him, Remus hardly dared to breathe for fear of using up all his oxygen and fainting on the spot. He lowered his head, holding Sirius’ quill loosely in his fingers as he busied himself with scratching the words down onto his parchment.

Professor Ambrosia flicked her wand at the blackboard at the front of the classroom, upon which quickly appeared the word, “Werewolves”, in large, cursive lettering.

“A ‘werewolf’, as I’m sure many of you are aware, is a human being who-”

A Ravenclaw girl with blonde pigtails raised her hand, and without waiting for Professor Ambrosia to call on her, chimed in. “-Who has been infected with lycanthropy, Professor, and becomes an extremely dangerous near-wolf on the full moon.”

The Professor arched a raven eyebrow and fixed the young girl with an amused stare. “…Correct though you are, Miss. Alistair, I was not aware that I’d asked a question.”

Alicia Alistair turned a bright shade of pink and shrunk a little in her seat as a few students, including James, snickered behind their books.

Clearing her throat to restore her class’ attention to the lesson, Ambrosia strode around her desk to stand between it and the blackboard. “As Miss. Alistair has so kindly explained for us, a ‘werewolf’ is simply a human being who suffers from lycanthropy. A condition which-”

Remus hardly dared to keep his eyes fixed on the front of the classroom. He imagined the Professor’s eyes boring right through him, and in a terribly moment of panic he was quite sure she was about to say “-which one of your classmates in this room suffers from”. But she didn’t.

“-is only transmittable through the bite of an existing werewolf.” As she spoke, notes began to scribe themselves onto the board behind her.   
  
Another Ravenclaw, a very slight, nervous looking boy with dusty brown hair and a pale complexion raised his hand and Professor Ambrosia nodded her heard to him with a smile.  
“Mr. Quirrell?”

“M-My m-mother…” He began, stuttering a little nervously. The boys behind him snickered and the teacher shot them a warning look.   
“Go on, Quirinus.”  
The nervous boy took a breath and started again. “My mother told me that sh-she met a wizard once who had b-been attacked by a werewolf….he wasn’t bitten but she saw the scratch on h-his arm. He said he always ate his meat raw after that.”

A series of disgusted “Ughs” spattered throughout the room and James called across the room, “You’re making that up…”

“Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Potter.” Professor Ambrosia raised her eyebrows at the class and waited a moment for silence to fall before she continued. “Mr. Quirrell has raised an excellent, and very likely true, point. The victim of a werewolf attack may only become one themselves if actually bitten by a transformed werewolf. However, it’s quite likely for someone who has been scratched-or in exceptionally rare cases, injured by a werewolf who is still in their human form- to develop some ‘wolfish’ tendencies themselves. Such as a taste for rare meat.”

“That’s kinda gross.” Sirius muttered, nudging Remus who was biting down hard on his tongue as he mumbled noncommittally on the subject.

“Who can tell me of a cure for lycanthropy?” Professor Ambrosia asked with the air of someone asking a trick question they knew no one had the answer to.

The room remained silent. A few students glanced at each other and shrugged, and Alicia opened her mouth and closed it again looking puzzled. There was no cure. Remus knew that. His father had been trying and failing for years to come up with some sort of solution. But he was terrified to say so, as if just saying that one thing would give him away beyond doubt.

After a few more seconds, Lily, sitting in front of Remus and Sirius, spoke up a little hesitantly. “Professor Ambrosia…is it true that silver would affect a werewolf?”

The Professor smiled at her and shook her head. “No, Miss. Evans…contrary to what the muggle world believes. Silver will not reverse the effects, or ‘cure’ a werewolf…nor will it harm one.”

Her robes fluttered slightly as she turned to address the whole class again. “Unfortunately, there is no known cure for the actual affliction itself. Wounds inflicted by a werewolf, will permanently scar. /However/…” She paused and stepped aside from the board so the students in front of her could begin to copy down the words.  “A mixture of dittany, and…” She glanced briefly at Lily, “powdered silver, can be used to close a wound inflicted by a werewolf and prevent death from occurring.”

There was a rustle of parchment and the scratching of quills as most students began to scribble down their notes.

“As I’ve already said, we will not be going in depth into exactly what a werewolf is until at least your third year of magical education. Our job today, is simply to discuss how to treat those injuries. Now…for the rest of the lesson, I’d like you all to read through chapter seven in your textbooks and jot down suggested ways to treat werewolf bites.”

Remus had never been so glad for one of his classes to finish that year. The moment the bell rang to signal the end of class, he quickly handed Sirius back his spare quill and breathed an audible sigh of relief as they bustled their way out of the classroom and started to trudge down to the Great Hall.

“You were quiet today, Remus.” Sirius arched an eyebrow over at his friend while James and Peter trudged a pace behind them.

Remus just shrugged and tried to look as natural and relaxed as he could manage.

“Yeah, you’re not getting sick again, are you?” James’ lips twitched just slightly as he stuck his head over Remus’ shoulder and made a show of seeing how sick he looked.   
Remus sighed and sidestepped out of the way as a genuine smile finally broke over his face. “I’m fine. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Because you’re sick, right?” James pushed with a grin, looking particularly pleased with himself as Peter snickered a little.

Remus looked over his shoulder and before he’d really thought it through, the retort leapt to his lips, “No. It’s ‘cause you snore loud enough to keep the whole dorm awake.”

Sirius let out a loud laugh and hung back half a step to clap a hand on James’ shoulder, who had burst out laughing too. “You know he’s not wrong, James. You might get a problem.”

xxxXxxx

“But what if we get caught? I don’t want a detention…”  Peter squeaked, looking between Sirius and James, as the four friends leaned over a table in the library. 

“Oh come on, what’s the worst that can happen? We have the invisib-”

“Keep your voice down, will you?” James hissed at Sirius before he could blurt out their secret weapon too loudly.   
Sirius looked over his shoulder to see the librarian glowering at them over spectacles, making it clear their voices were too loud for the library. The boy flashed as innocent a smile as he could make convincing, which wasn’t much, and turned back as soon as the little, old witch turned back to her task of cataloguing books.

“I kind of agree with Peter…” Remus murmured quietly. He alone of the four was leaning over a roll of parchment, his Transfiguration book open beside him as he worked on McGonagall’s essay on the Switching Spell.

“Oh come on, you two…” Sirius sighed, looking exasperatedly between the two fairer haired boys and exchanging a smirk with James. 

Remus looked up finally, crossing the last ‘t’ in his sentence and setting his quill down carefully to avoid dropping ink over his essay. “You don’t need four people to do it anyway…”

“No, but it’s much more fun.” James raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly at Remus. “And we might only be first years but you’re the best at spells most of the time…” He pushed his round glassed further up his nose as they slipped slightly. “Come on…just one classroom. They’ll never need to know who did it.”

“Well that’s not true, James…since when can you keep your mouth shut?” Sirius smirked, ducking his head to the table to avoid the quill James threw at him. “Yeah, yeah, me too. I know.”

Peter wasn’t too difficult to persuade. His beady eyes flicked between Sirius and James uneasily for a few moments as he chewed on his lips. Eager to please, and not wanting to let the only people he could call friends down, he sighed and nodded finally. “O-Okay…I’m in.”

“Atta boy, Pete!” Sirius grinned widely, drumming his hands softly on the surface of the table before all three looked expectantly at Remus who was staring back at them wide-eyed.

“I just don’t think it’s a…” The young wizard sighed and blew a strand of sandy brown hair out of his face. “…which classroom?”

xxxXxxx

They waited until the Common Room had emptied, and the last few lingering students had gone up to bed before tossing off their covers and climbing quietly out of their beds with wands in hands. No one dared speak until they’d descended the stairs from the boy’s dormitory and gathered close to the portrait hole in the Common Room.

“Okay, so…McGonagall’s classroom?” Sirius rubbed his hands together gleefully, shuffling excitedly on the spot in his black pyjamas and slippers.   
James tied up his crimson dressing gown, the cloak now hanging over one shoulder which comically seemed to flicker in and out of being. “Yeah…let’s get going. We’ll be quick…”

“Is that even going to fit all of us under it?” Peter asked hesitantly, pointing to the cloak. A comment which James brushed off and shrugged.  
“If we crouch down, probably just…and no one’s gonna see our feet in the dark anyway for a second.”

“Let’s go…” Sirius hissed and, one by one, they crawled through the portrait hole, pushing the portrait of the Fat Lady away as slowly as they could, hoping she would remain asleep in her frame. As soon as Peter, at the rear, hopped out and the portrait swung closed, they all crowded in close together. James handed one side of the cloak to Remus and together they spread it over the four of them as best as they could.  
The shimmering, silky cloak was larger than Remus had expected it to be. As they all crouched down close together, the cloak just brushed the bottom of their feet. If they hurried, the soles of their slippers may be visible but only for an instant.

Quietly, hardly daring to make a noise in case a patrolling teacher came by, they snuck down the moving staircases to the first floor. By the time they reached it, Peter was panting and slightly out of breath, being rushed along at the rear.

“Shh!” Remus suddenly hushed them, and immediately Sirius clapped his hand over Peter’s mouth to muffle the noise.   
“What?” James hissed, frowning at Remus under the cloak, “Did you hear-”

“Shh!” The young werewolf hushed again, straining his ears to hear what he was sure was footsteps around the corner. Sure enough, they only just had enough time to move closer to the wall, when Professor McGonagall strode by, her wand tip alight.

They collectively held their breath when she suddenly stopped and turned to look directly at the group. After a moment, apparently satisfied she must have imagined what she thought she’d seen, the tall witch strode on and out of sight down the corridor as darkness swallowed her once again.

“…That was close…” Sirius let out a breath, wiping his hand on his pyjamas and shooting Peter a look of disgust, “Calm down, would you?”

“It’s right here, come on!” James suddenly hissed, pushing on the door directly behind them and rattling the handle. “…right.”

“Here…” Remus sighed, holding his hand out, where it seemed to hover strangely in mid-air with his wand. Pointing it steadily at the lock he tried, “Alohomora.” There was a satisfying click and the door unlocked. Immediately they piled inside, closing the door quickly behind them. James pulled off the cloak, tucking it into his dressing gown as best he could.

“Let’s hurry up and get out of here.” Peter chimed in, having recovered slightly as he pulled out his wand from the sleeve of his dressing gown.

“Okay…so…all of them?”

xxxXxxx

“What in the name of Merlin’s hat is going on in here?!” Professor McGonagall shouldered her way through the crowd of first year Ravenclaws and Gryffindors into her classroom. She stopped dead in the doorway, her jaw dropping as she stared in shock at the scene.

The desks hovered inches away from the ceiling, upside down, inkwells had fallen and smashed on the floor, leaving puddles of dried ink staining the stone floors. Across the blackboard at the front of the classroom, in white chalk, were a number of stick figure drawings. One of whom, wearing a tall, pointed hat, seemed to be Professor McGonagall.

The class erupted into  laughter, students lined the walls as they looked up at the floating furniture, pointing fingers at the drawings on the blackboard and giggling.   
“Out of the way!” McGonagall snapped, brushing through a group of giggling Gryffindor girls and towards the blackboard. With a flick of her wand the drawings vanished and she whirled around with a critical eye to look over the classroom. Her lips were pressed together into a thin line and her face was pinched in barely concealed anger.

Just outside the door Sirius and James were nearly choking on supressed laughter, leaning up against the wall for support at the success of their plan. Remus, sensibly kept his mouth closed, not having any wish to suggest that he had played a part in levitating the desks.

“Potter! Black!” McGonagall’s robes swished and her shoes tapped harshly against the stone as she swept out of the room in front of the group. The students surrounding them scattered, breaking off into whispers and giggles.

James and Sirius straightened up immediately with barely contained glee as they struggled to keep straight faces. “Y-Yes, Professor?”

“Might I suggest that next time you wish to con other students into joining in on your childish antics…you ensure they do /not/ leave incriminating evidence behind?” She produced a blue slipped from the folds of her robes and swirled on the spot, holding it out to Peter who jumped. “I believe this belongs to you, Pettigrew?” Sure enough, on the sole of the slipper were the initials. P.P.

Peter paled considerably and looked to his friends to aid. Sirius winced and cringed on the spot while James sighed and slapped a palm to his forehead.

“Detention for the lot of you!” McGonagall snapped, whirling on her heel and storming back into the classroom to reverse the damage.

There was a few seconds of silence before James Potter drew himself up tall and clapped Sirius on the back heartily. “Job well done, I’ll say!”


	10. Chapter Ten

**So it would appear that I am not dead! I've been very busy in my personal left lately, but that is hardly an excuse!**

**But this story was NEVER going to be abandoned. I'm back out of writer's block and I fully intend to see this through to the end!**

**I'm so very sorry that it's been so long.  It's not good enough of me, but I will be doing my very best.**

* * *

 

 

"Check out the new brooms!"

"Mum said I could choose my own cat from the Magical Menagerie-"

"But I want  _new_  robes…"

The hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley was as noisy and busy as it ever was at the beginning of a Hogwarts school year. All around, witches and wizards of all ages bustled their way through the crowd of magical folk doing their shopping. Groups of teenagers chattered and laughed as they left Florean Fortescue's, ice creams in hand, or gathered around shop windows ogling the latest Quidditch equipment. It was an environment totally different from that in Hogwarts, one which Remus Lupin had only had a little exposure to a year ago when buying his wand.

This time, Lyall had, after some persuading, allowed Remus to accompany him to purchase his second year school supplies. Much to the twelve year old's glee. Remus sidled out of the way as a haughty looking witch with a hooked nose brushed past them. The boy stayed close at his father's heels as Lyall quickly cut out of the stream of coming and going magical folk to stand in front of Potage's Cauldron Shop to give them a little air a few steps apart from the crowd.

Lyall adjusted his faded blue coat, tugging down the sleeve that had ridden up from being jostled aside. Under his arm he carried a wrapped up bundle of textbooks from the second hand bookstore where they had just purchased Remus' new school books. They were older editions but would more than serve their purpose. "Is there anything else on your list that we've missed, Remus?"

Remus shook his head but before he could even open his mouth to say anything, Lyall continued, his eyes twinkling a little. "Do you want to have a look in there?" He pointed across the street to Quality Quidditch Supplies where a crowd of teenage boys stood in front of the window, ogling the new brooms.

Remus followed his father's gaze and his own green ones widened as he looked at the Quidditch supplies store.  
"Quidditch? Dad, I'm only an okay flyer." Remus was slightly bemused as to why his father would even suggest going into another shop, least of all one which sold Quidditch supplies. "Were you on the Quidditch team, Dad?"

"No, no, I just thought it could interest you. It's your second year now, you could try out if you wanted to." Lyall shook his head quickly and smiled at his son, he had certainly not been very athletic in his school days and he didn't really expect that Remus would be either. The thought had only struck him that it may help Remus to fit in more, on the off chance he was actually interested. They didn't have the money to buy him a broom, but the school had brooms.

"I don't really want to…"

"Remus, just have a look…it might help you fit in. I'll come back in a moment. Wait for me there." Lyall rested his hand on his son's shoulder, squeezing lightly before stressing the point again. " _Stay_  there. I'll be right back in a moment, alright?"

Remus opened his mouth to protest, he wasn't interested in sports, flying and Quidditch but his father was insistent and he bit back the urge to argue the point. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back, okay?" Lyall squeezed his shoulder, guiding Remus across the street to the shop, and smiling over his shoulder briefly before he started to sidle back through the crowd.

Remus stared bemused after his father, as for the first time, he willingly let Remus out of his sight in Diagon Alley. He wasn't about to directly disobey and so awkwardly started to sidle his way inside.  
Quality Quidditch Supplies was booming with business, packed almost from floor to ceiling with teenagers struggling to get a look at the newest Quidditch supplies.

"Look at it! A new Nimbus!"

"It's the fastest model yet."

Remus stood on his toes to see the broom that no fewer than ten young witches and wizards had crowded around to look at. Behind glass, the Nimbus 1700 was proudly on display. A long mahogany broomstick with sleek bristles neatly grouped at the end and its name emblazoned on the other in cursive, gold writing.

The walls were lined with everything from broomsticks, to Quaffles, to Quidditch storage chests. In one corner a large glass tank that reached from floor to ceiling housed dozens of golden snitches flitting around. With the skill of a Seeker, an employee had his arm through a small gap, his gloved hand snatching around on nothing a few times before it closed around one of the snitches.

"Hey!"  
The young werewolf jumped violently as a hand clapped down on his shoulder and he whirled around wide eyed to find James Potter grinning at him.

"Woah, what's got you so jumpy?"

Remus relaxed again, stepping to the side out of the way of two Slytherin boys he recognised and shaking his head. "Nothing, you just surprised me…what's that?" His green eyes drifted past the grinning, bespectacled face to the broom in James' hand, and then to the faces behind them also pointing and staring in awe.

"Isn't it amazing?" James grinned, holding out the Nimbus he held in his hands. "I'm a shoe in for the Quidditch team with this! And Evans is bound to be impressed!"

It was no secret that the Potters were extremely wealthy. It was evidence enough that they could shower their only child in presents as extravagant as the best broomsticks, and invisibility cloaks. James, to his credit, did not make a big deal of being rich. At least not directly, not in the way most of the Black or Malfoy families did. James was confident, and perhaps a little cocky, but he wasn't boastful of his wealth, just of his skill and his jokes.

Remus had to admit, though he didn't care much for Quidditch or brooms, found himself staring in awe with the rest of the shop.  
"You really will be." He agreed and James grinned, tossing the broom over his shoulder and nearly knocking a passing girl in the head who tutted at him.  
"I'm gonna meet Sirius and Peter at Fortescue's, are you coming?" The boy asked, his eyebrows raising above the level of his glasses.

Remus opened his mouth and closed it again. He wasn't supposed to. He was supposed to wait right here, and he didn't want his dad to become frantic even if he just went off to have ice cream with his friends.  
To save him that explanation, Lyall chose that moment to reappear. Placing a hand on his son's shoulder and making Remus turn and sigh.  
"Remus, time to go."

xxxXxxx

"Are you sure you're not even going to try out?"

"Yeah, come on, how great would it be for all of us to be on the Quidditch team?"

"Y-You really think we could all make it?"

Remus sighed where he had his nose hidden behind a book in the common room whilst his friends all tried to persuade him to try out for the team with them. He shook his head for the thirteenth time in the last thirty minutes and looked over the top of his book to find Sirius staring at Peter and shrugging his shoulders.

"Well…I mean, maybe not  _all_  of us."

"But at least you're trying, Peter." James added, clapping the pudgy boy on the back and leaning back against the crimson sofa. "C'mon Remus, you look like you could use the fresh air."

"I'm fine." Remus murmured, suddenly very aware of how pale and sickly he must be beginning to look. With the full moon just days away, he was getting more and more irritable and ill looking by the day. "Quidditch isn't really my specialty."

"He's right. That would be being the brainiest of all of us. And on that note, what were the main ingredients for a Wiggenweld Potion again? Slughorn's essay has me stumped." Sirius suddenly veered off topic, leaning over the back of the chair Remus was sitting in to try and get a look at his textbook.

"Salamander blood and lionfish spines, and that's all you're getting until you read the chapter yourself."

"Oh break a rule once in a while won't you?" Sirius sighed, plopping down onto the floor and pulling his parchment over to him.

"So…invisibility cloak tonight? I thought we could sneak into the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom and give Professor Aristole a real shock in the morning." James grinned and held up his hand to high five his best friend.

"Wh-whatever happened to Professor Ambrosia last year? Why d-did she leave?" Peter Pettigrew asked and Sirius shrugged and turned his quill over in his fingers.

"She had to leave as she urgently had to go to France to a sick Aunt with dragonpox, remember?"

The four boys turned their heads as one to the redheaded girl who had taken a seat on the other end of the sofa from James.  
"Ah, Evans! Not doing your homework with Snape today? Did the grease in his hair finally start dripping?"

"Oh drop it, Potter, stop being so rude. There's nothing wrong with Severus." Lily glared at James who just laughed and loosened his red and gold tie

"Number one, he's a Slytherin. Number two, he acts and talks like a ghoul. Number th-" A cushion in his face cut James off from whatever snide remark he had been about to make and Lily scowled at him. Gathering up her things the twelve year old girl immediately stomped out of the common room, her hair flying behind her.

xxxXxxx

"Why do you hang around with Potter and Black, Remus? You're much nicer than those buffoons."

Remus looked up from his copy of 'The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2' from where he was seated on the bleachers overlooking the Quidditch pitch.

Lily's hair was tied back in a braid with strands that kept flying in her face as the wind blew from behind them. He liked her, she was kind and without a doubt the brightest witch in their year. She didn't approve at all of James and Sirius' pranks which more often than not somehow roped Peter and himself in as well.

"They're my friends." Remus spoke quietly, shrugging his shoulders and looking down at the group of Gryffindor students from all years second and up waiting on the field for Quidditch tryouts to start. James, Sirius and Peter were all trying out, standing right at the front of the group as the captain, seventh year Arthur Wood addressed them.

James already had everyone's eyes on him with his new Nimbus 1700 over his shoulder and grinning as proudly as though he had personally won the House Cup.

"Why are you watching? I thought you didn't care much for Quidditch?" He asked the girl who sighed and looked back at him, her Gryffindor scarf fluttering in the wind.

"I don't, but Aurora is trying out to be a chaser and I thought she needed someone to cheer her on." She answered, waving down to a raven-haired second year girl who waved up at her. Only to have James think she was waving to him and grin widely up at her.  
"Thanks Evans!" He shouted and Remus chuckled a little behind his book as the Quidditch Captain whistled for attention.

Perhaps because of his interrupting, James went first and if it hadn't been clear in first year, it was doubly so now that James Potter was a natural. Even without the fastest, and one of the most expensive, model brooms out now, he would have outstripped any other second year and a lot of the older players.  
Remus lifted his hands to clap as one of his best friends, or indeed only friends, lighted to the ground lightly after scoring goal after goal with the Quaffle. He winced suddenly, a violent wave of nausea washing over him so strongly he found himself suddenly swaying on the spot and letting out a little groan that came out almost a growl. The full moon was tomorrow.

"Are you okay?" A concerned voice snapped him out of his daze as Lily frowned at him in worry, and although "okay" was the very last thing he felt now, he nodded anyway.

"Just a little ill-"

A sudden uproar of laughter from the pitch caught both of their attention.

Peter Pettigrew's broom had shot off without him, whizzing carefree around in circles and leaving the rat faced boy bright red in embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it, mate, borrow mine." Sirius clapped him on the shoulder and handed over his own broom between snickers.

"Th-thanks…" Peter mumbled and, under the watchful eye of everyone there, managed to take off this time….for about ten feet. One of the least coordinated boys in Gryffindor, if not Hogwarts, he toppled end over end until he flopped face first into the grass.

Needless to say, Peter did not make the Quidditch team. But a few days later, when the list was posted in the Common Room, both James and Sirius had earned spots as Chasers.

xxxXxxx

"Where are you off to in such a hurry again? I thought we were going to-Remus? Remus?!"

He heard his friends calling his name in confusion as he dashed out of History of Magic and down the corridor, sprinting as fast as he could toward Gryffindor Tower. Professor Binns, the only ghostly member of staff, was infamous for being the most boring professor in the school, so unaware of his students paying no attention to him, that it was rumoured that he had failed to even notice that he had died some years ago. The droning lecture on the founding of Medieval Assembly of European Wizards, had gone overtime, giving Remus ten minutes less time to get out of the school unnoticed.

He would fake ill again to his friends. Though in the back of his mind his father's warning that he could not overuse one excuse rang. Hurrying into the boy's dormitory he knew his friends would be close behind him, he couldn't get out of the Common Room without their seeing. Breathing heavily he did the only thing he could think of to stay unnoticed, he took James' invisibility cloak from his trunk and wrapped it around himself just as the rest of the boys came into the dormitory. He just had to wait a minute until they went down to the Great Hall, then he would be in the clear so to speak.

"Where did he go? He was coming this way wasn't he?" Peter asked as Sirius rotated on the spot looking around for him and shrugged.

"Hospital wing? He was pretty ill looking all day."

"How can one person be so sick all the time? He was like that last year too, wasn't he?"

"Something just seems funny about it all."

"Don't push, if he wants to say he'll tell us." James shrugged, and for a second looked straight at Remus where he stood against the wall. After a moment the boys seemed to give up and dropped their bags, leaving Remus to let out a sigh of relief and pull the cloak away to stow it back in James' trunk.

He felt terrible lying to his friends. But what choice did he have? The moment anyone found out the truth, they'd think he was a monster. And they wouldn't be wrong.

xxxXxxx

The wolf howled a long, terrible wail to the moon from the window of the shack. So loud and chilling that the inhabitants of Hogsmeade would talk about the ghosts and creatures that must inhabit the supposedly haunted building for decades to come. The mysterious, forbidden building protected by enchantments that in the last year alone had become a place one could hear terrible screams, neither quite human, nor quite animal when the night was right.  
Not to know the truth that the cause of those screams every month was a boy in unimaginable agony as his body transformed and twisted into an unrecognisable wolfish form.

The werewolf hurled it's great, muscular body into the wall, trying in vain as it did every month, to force its way out. It's only companionship that of rats that it had no interest in even devouring. It snarled and paced, back and forth, clawing at walls and shattering any furniture it could. Pausing it caught its reflection in the glass of a window that it could not force itself through and growled. Green eyes, human eyes overtaken with bloodlust stared back at it. Then it roared and leapt from the ground floor up to the second, clawing to get as close to the moon that called it irresistibly.

xxxXxxx

"Remus?"

The boy stirred a little, wrapped in a pile of bedsheets the wolf had eventually collapsed onto wearily. Someone was calling his name. It sounded like his mother but she wasn't here was she? Of course not, she was a muggle and he was in Hogwarts.

Remus blinked and woke to find Madam Pomfrey laying a tray of food, hot and delicious smelling to his sensitive nose. The bacon and sausages were even almost raw for him. The matron sighed sympathetically and with a wave of her wand repaired the tattered curtains and shattered four poster bed to a state that Remus could still use them in.

"Thank you…" His voice was hoarse and his throat felt like a dozen daggers were scraping it raw with each word.

"Drink this. You'll feel better." She handed him a potion in a flask which Remus drank and cringed. But it eased the pain, and dulled the throb in his head. He smiled gratefully, if wearily and nodded.  
"I'll return later on with your other meals, my boy." She smiled a warm smile that Remus could not feel comforted by.

Tempted as he was by the meat, and would soon enjoy a hearty meal, that was not the first thing Remus went for went he woke the morning after the full moon. Prying up the floorboard in which he kept his belongings safe from destruction by the wolf, he pulled out the foil wrapped, muggle chocolate from his rucksack. Breaking off a small piece he sank onto the mattress and nibbled it slowly. It was his piece of familiarity, the closest he could get to his mother's comfort while he was here.

xxxXxxx

Valentine's Day, like Halloween, Christmas and Easter, was an occasion for Hogwarts to be decorated. The Great Hall was decorated with great pink and red hearts, and some of the teachers, including Professor Slughorn had added pink to their robes for the occasion.  
Couples gushed over each other, and love potions were a popular topic of conversation amongst giggling girls in the fourth and fifth year.

"Hey, hey, look…" Sirius pointed up as the usual flock of owls soared in. Many carrying parcels, cards and flowers for significant others.  
But what was most interesting was the Slytherin table, where Severus Snape was getting up and coming over to speak to Lily who sat a few spots away from the boys.

"Lily, we had better get-"

"Snape's got a crush on Evans!" James shouted, much to the amusement of everyone who could hear him. The Slytherin boy scowled at him just as a barn owl swooped over his head and dropped a card into his hands.

Remus watched warily. He knew what it was. Sirius had been talking about how funny it was going to be for weeks.

Sure enough, no sooner had Snape opened the card in confusion then it began to sing loudly in a wailing voice not in the least bit pleasant.

 _"Snivellus Snape, oh Snivelly dear,_  
_Won't you be mine, and lend me your ear?_  
_Your hair hangs so limp, it's surely just grease,_  
_I wonder, do even your clothes have fleas?_  
_Snivelly dear, you just take the cake,_  
_Now would you just go jump in the lake?"_

The Slytherin's face drained of what little colour it held and black eyes scowled over at the four boys. Remus stared wide eyed as the whole Gryffindor table, and much of the rest of the hall, burst into hysterical laughter.

Lily was fuming. She had gotten up and whacked James hard over the head which only made Sirius howl with laughter more when James shouted indignantly.  
"That one wasn't me!"

She clapped Sirius over the head instead which didn't stop any of them laughing.  
"You're beasts! All of you! Come on, Sev, let's go." She seethed, storming out of the hall with a very embarrassed Snape.

"Was that really necessary?" Remus asked, a light brown eyebrow raised at his friends who were wiping tears of mirth from their eyes.

"Of course not…" Sirius composed himself with a wolfish grin. "But I told you it would be hilarious!"

 _  
_ xxxXxxx

The full moon in February fell over a weekend and Remus had told them this time that he had to rush home for a few days as his mother was gravely ill. At first it seemed to work. Peter certainly believed him and so did Lily when she asked right in the middle of potions class on the Monday in front of a whole table of Slytherins and other curious housemates.

James and Sirius were less convinced, Remus was sure of it. They said they believed him, but more than once he had gone up to sit with his friends in the Great Hall only to have Sirius elbow James and both of them abruptly change the subject from whatever they'd been discussing.

He felt sick that had nothing to do with the waning moon. They were suspicious. How could he be so stupid as to think that anyone would actually believe he was so sick all the time? Or maybe not. Maybe he was being a little too paranoid about it. Maybe it was something else entirely. For a few weeks he convinced himself that he was concerned for nothing.

Until, at the beginning of March, he slipped into the library to work on Professor Aristole's essay on effective ways to banish a Banshee. Defence Against the Dark Arts was his best subject, closely followed by Charms. His father had taught him all about a wide variety of Dark creatures, and his old work with them, that he hadn't even needed to consult the textbook much to know exactly what to include in his essay. Peculiarly enough, a Laughing Potion, if it could be procured was an effective way to nullify the deadly scream of a banshee.

He had just sat down and unrolled his parchments when a whispered conversation caught his attention and he looked up to find Sirius, Peter and James all crowded together over some books a few tables away. They rarely spent much time in the library. That in itself was peculiar.

"It's always over the full moon though, that can't be a coincidence."

"Don't be stupid, he'd have claws and pointed teeth."

"How thick are you, Pettigrew? They don't look like that all the time."

"Well there's an easy way to find out isn't there, we j-"

"Find out what?" Remus' heart was thundering so loudly in his ears he could hardly hear himself think as he swallowed a lump and stepped up behind them.

Sirius yelped and closed the book they'd been pouring over and James casually grinned up at him. "Nothing at all, Remus ol'chum."

It wasn't until late that night, huddled under the Invisibility cloak as they crept out of the Common Room, that James actually said the words Remus had been so dreading to hear.

"Remus Lupin…" he started, his voice so strangely serious that it nearly sound like it was James Potter speaking at all. "Are you a werewolf?"


	11. Chapter 11

 

“What?”

“Are you a werewolf?”

“No! W-why would you think that?”

The question he had been dreading since the moment he stepped onto the Hogwarts Express for the first time, and the one he had somehow tried to deceive himself into believing might not be asked after all. Had he hidden it so badly?

He felt all three of them staring. The eyes of his friends burning through him as he practically felt the little colour he had drain from his skin.

Remus did the only thing he felt he could do in that moment. Without waiting for anyone to reply, to give him reasons why he was so easy to expose, he scrambled out from under the invisibility cloak and hurtled back toward the Common Room, stumbling over the staircase and nearly trapping his foot in a disappearing step.

Maybe it was stupid. Maybe he was really a coward who didn’t deserve to be in Gryffindor after all. But how could he respond to that either way without giving himself away? Running back up to the boy’s dormitory he buried himself under his covers, as if he could hide there and they wouldn’t know he was just in his bed.

This was it. Not even halfway through his second year at Hogwarts and his cover had been blown. Goodbye magical education, and friends, and any kind of chance he had at a real life. He’d ruined it. He’d said he was ill one too many times. Now he had disappointed himself, and worse, he’d disappointed Dumbledore and proved his father right that it had been a bad idea.

“Oi, Lupin…” He heard Sirius’ disembodied voice hiss from somewhere near his bed and then heard the fluttering of a cloak being pulled away. Remus didn’t respond, didn’t even look at them. He pretended to be asleep until they left him alone and got back into their own beds.

How long would it take before James and Sirius couldn’t keep their mouths shut and a rumour started to spread? Or for Peter to accidentally blurt out their suspicions too loud or in the wrong company?           

So he avoided them. The first friends he had ever made, and likely would ever have at all, and now he had to pretend he didn’t even know them. He made sure he left for meals after they did, so they wouldn’t come and sit with him. He didn’t talk to any of them in class, and kept his head down, only answering questions directly asked to him by professors. Which unfortunately for him, was quite frequently.   
It seemed to work, at least for a week.

A bag dropped down next to him on the bench and James promptly sat backwards on it, his arms crossed and a ‘we know you’re hiding something’ expression on his face’.   
“Are you going to tell us or not? Because if it isn’t _you know what_ , then it’s something else.”

“It’s nothing. There’s nothing. Leave me alone…” Leaving his breakfast half eaten, Remus grabbed his things and stumbled over his own feet in his rush to get out of the Great Hall.

 

“Lupin!”

Remus sighed and turned around where he had been standing, early as usual for the first period Charms the Gryffindors shared with the Slytherins.

Amycus Carrow, flanked by his twin sister Alecto, both Second Year Slytherins, with the same hooked nose and bitter sneer and each as spiteful as the other was, stood there with his arms crossed.

“Where’s your friends? They finally realise what a freak you are?” Alecto sneered and Remus just sighed and turned around again, ignoring them until Amycus shoved his shoulder.

“No don’t touch him.” He heard Alecto laugh and glared over his shoulder. “You don’t know how sick he is. He might cough on you.”

“Hey, back off, what did Remus do to you?” A voice snapped and seemingly out of nowhere Sirius appeared, pulling a sour face at the Carrow twins who looked at the shaggy haired boy in amusement.

“Ah, guess that answers the question.” Amycus scoffed and reached a hand into his robes reaching for his wand before Professor Flitwick hurried along the corridor towards the classroom, Lily Evans right behind him and glaring at the Slytherins.

“You will only withdraw that wand inside my classroom, Mister Carrow and not before.” The professor, small though he was, was clearly intimidating enough for Amycus to back down and huff, glaring at Remus who had said nothing the whole time.

“Not very tough without a bodyguard are you, freak?” He hissed under his breath as the rest of the class started to arrive and the doors opened to admit them. Remus saw Sirius turn to him and open his mouth to say something and immediately avoided even making eye contact. Squeezing into the line of students he took a seat on the far side of the room from where Sirius, James and Peter would sit and pretended to be busy finding his textbook.

xxxXxxx

“I tell you, the only way he’s going to say it, is if he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that we know.” James murmured, making sure to keep their voices as quiet as possible in the almost empty Common Room.  Peter, who had been throwing scraps of parchment into the fireplace bit his lip and shook his head.  
“But we _don’t_ know for sure. You’re just guessing.”

“He ran away and hasn’t spoken to any of us…or really any _one_ in nearly two weeks. I’m completely sure it’s true.” Sirius added and then in an afterthought, “Well…mostly sure…about eighty percent. There’s a chance he might really actually be sick and that’s not as funny.”

“One way to find out…” The bespectacled boy’s eyes twinkled behind his glasses and he pulled out a planner from his robes.

“Where did you get that?”

“What? A wizard can’t have a muggle calendar…thing?” James asked innocently, looking between Peter and Sirius who were just raising their eyebrows at him. “Alright, Evans let me borrow it.”

The eyebrows raised higher and disappeared into their owners’ hair and Potter sighed.

“…I _borrowed_ it out of her bag but I’ll put it back right after this.” He flicked through the pages and pointed at a specific date. “The full moon is this Thursday. We take the cloak and follow him, see where he goes if he gets all sickly again.”

“I see no way this could _possibly_ go wrong.” Sirius scoffed, looking as serious as his name for all of two seconds before he grinned and nodded. “I’m in, Pete?”

“W-well…” Clearly unsure about the whole scheme, Peter glanced back and forth between his friends. The desire to fit in and belong to a group outweighing his obvious uncertainties about the plan, he finally nodded. “Alright…”

Sure enough, as predicted, Remus scurried out of the last class of the day, McGonagall’s Transfiguration class before anyone else, having strategically taken the closest seat to the door. Stranger still, it had occurred to James that none of the teachers ever seemed to comment anytime Remus all but staggered out of their classroom.

“He’ll get suspicious if we beat him to the Common Room for the cloak.” Sirius muttered, “He always runs up there first before dinner even.”

“I know… that’s why I grabbed it before.” James grinned, sidestepping into an empty classroom and pulling the Invisibility Cloak out of his bag. “Let’s go catch a werewolf…or, potentially just find out whatever it is he’s hiding that’s not werewolf related. But I’d bet a hundred galleons that what it is.”

Squashed together under the cloak, Potter, Black and Pettigrew sidled their way through the crowds of students, waiting outside the Fat Lady for Remus to re-emerge last of the entire house.

“He’s got a rucksack…what’s he doing?” Peter hissed and Sirius clapped a hand over his mouth as Remus paused and looked around before hurrying off down the staircase.

“Be quieter, idiot.” Sirius muttered as they followed at a distance, outside the castle and shockingly watched Remus heading right towards the Whomping Willow.

James threw out his arm and stopped his friends on the hill close to the Groundskeeper’s hut where the Willow stood proudly, his branches swaying threateningly as Remus, seemingly without fear, drew closer.

“I _knew_ it. That tree only got planted before first term in our first year. It has something to do with Remus.” Sirius stared, mouth agape as their mysterious and secretive friend levitated a twig through the branches towards the trunk. Whatever he’d done immobilised the tree and then as suddenly as the tree had stopped moving, Remus disappeared.

“What the…quick, let’s go, before it starts moving again.” Peter squeaked, and they ran, their ankles and knees flickering in and out of visibility as they sprinted toward the tree just beginning to move again.

“Where the devil did he go?”

“G-guys…the tree is starting to-ah!” Peter screamed suddenly, vanishing from between James and  Sirius who wrenched off the cloak and gaped at the ground, a hole in the roots below the tree almost invisible unless you stood directly over it.  
“Peter? You okay?”

“Fine….” A squeaky voice came from below. “I think I know where he disappeared…”

James and Sirius looked at each other and exchanged broad grins with each other before sliding down one after the other into the tunnel.

“Lumos…” Sirius muttered and the tip of his wand lit up as they pulled the cloak back over themselves, slowly picking their way down the tunnel.

“Oh this is so much better than finding secret passageways _inside_ the castle.” James murmured.

xxxXxxx

Would this be his last full moon at Hogwarts? Would Dumbledore know that his friends were onto his secret and be disappointed with him for not keeping it better? As if he didn’t feel terrible already with the full moon ready to rise. Remus looked out the cracked but unbroken window of the shack, up at the sky almost dark.

He was snapped out of his daze staring at the rising moon by the squeak of hinges from downstairs. Whirling around, he ran to the landing to look down at the trapdoor. It surely couldn’t be a professor, they must know it was too late now. But it wasn’t a professor at all. No, it was much worse.

James Potter was climbing out of the trapdoor, his shoulder invisible where he was clearly carrying the cloak over his shoulder. Right behind him, Sirius, and then Peter last of all crawled out onto the floor. No. No this couldn’t be happening. Just when he thought things couldn’t have gotten worse, they had.

“Aha! Found him.” James grinned up at him, Remus staring wide eyed, his skin clammy and cold.

“So, are we right?” Sirius crossed his arms, “Don’t bother lying now, Remus, we know what’s up.”

“You can’t be here. You need to leave _now_!” He shouted, his voice panicked and louder than he’d been expecting.

“Not until you tell us.” James raised an eyebrow, “what is this place, and this is where you go all the time isn’t it?”

“Please go…” The young werewolf insisted, starting to feel the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. The moon was rising.

“Merlin’s beard, you look like death.” Peter added and Remus could feel the gaze of all three of them boring through his skin, quite apart from the burning that really was starting to spread.

The moon shone its first rays of light through a window and he stared in terror at his friends. Pupils dilating and teeth sharpening into points, he dug his nails, fingers stretching into claws right into the balustrade and in a scream that came out halfway to a growl shouted, “Get out!”

“…Yeah, we gotta go…”

The last thing Remus remembered before his human mind completely blacked out and he fell to the floor screaming in agony, was the trapdoor slamming closed.

xxxXxxx

This night was different. The monster was caged, no less confined than it always was but something was different. The werewolf, formerly known as Remus John Lupin, threw back its short snouted head and howled long and loud as it heaved its great body up on four paws. It breathed heavily, drawing great breaths through its mouth and scraping at the floor with its claws. The whole first floor shook as it leapt onto the ground floor and then its head shot to the side ferociously as it caught the scent. The scent that drove the bloodlust of werewolves, the only thing the beast craved. Human flesh.

The floor. The scent was somehow coming through the floor. The wolf roared hungrily, furiously and snapped at the floor, its claws scraping desperately and in vain straining to find the source.

Howling in frustration, it paced angrily, hurling itself at anything it could break.

An hour passed, before the tantalising smell of human blood became far more tangible.   
The beast paced upstairs, growling deep and gnawing at the remains of a rat that had long since been dead. Then its ears pricked up, its snout lifted and it sniffed the air. Close. It was closer now.

Slowly the wolf stalked, one paw at a time as it sniffed, hunting after the smell it craved desperately. Then it heard it.   
“Holy crap…”

Its head snapped to the side, halfway down the stairs and staring at the spot the noise had come from. It heard movement, it smelt blood but it saw nothing. Growling menacingly it lunged for the spot anyway, teeth flashing and claws scraping against wood as it found nothing.

Something clattered and it whirled around with a roar, snapping at the air and feeling the wisp of something brush past its muzzle.

xxxXxxx

 Remus groaned,  every part of him shaking as he slowly woke up, the sun beaming through whatever cracks it could and somehow managing to be directly in his eyes. Everything hurt and ached, his bones cracking and clicking as he slowly sat up. His mind too fuzzy to remember anything at first.

Someone cleared their throat and Remus froze, his head still down staring at the floor and arms trembling as they tried to hold himself up. Slowly he lifted his head, looking up with a sick feeling that had nothing to do with being a werewolf. Standing in the crumbling doorway, their eyes wide and arms crossed were James, Sirius and Peter. And then everything came washing back in a harsh wave of reality. 

“So? Ready to talk about your hairy little problem?”

He remembered. He remembered everything. He remembered them bursting into his hiding place with the invisibility cloak and demanding answers. He remembered Sirius diving back down through the trapdoor as Remus’ claws burst through his fingernails. There was no doubt now that they knew. He was ruined.

But now, with his energy completely drained and hardly able to see straight, it was all Remus could do to groan and hide his terrified expression until a pile of curtains.

“I’ll l-leave…” He stammered out, his voice hoarse, and muffled by the pile of dusty curtains. This was how his magical education was going to end. His secret exposed and leaving himself humiliated. “I’ll leave, but p-please don’t tell…”

“You’ll what?” Sirius snorted and he heard the floorboards creak as someone knelt down. James pulled the curtain off his head and raised an eyebrow.

“Are you kidding? This is…awesome!”

He had to have heard wrong. Or else James had knocked his head on something and was even more reckless than Remus had given him credit for.   
“Say what now?”

“We’re friends with a bloody _werewolf_ , how cool is that?”

Before Remus could say anything  the trapdoor creaked below and he stared at them in panic.   
“That’s Madam Pomfrey, you can’t be here…”

“Relax, Remus…” James clapped him on the back and a few seconds later, he, Sirius and Peter all disappeared from sight.

Until she left, Remus’ panicked eyes kept darting to the wall where the three boys had vanished under the cloak. Drinking his tonic to ease the pain and hungrily demolishing the near raw sausages on his plate he let out a sigh of relief as his sensitive ears heard every click and creak as the trapdoor closed again.

A few moments later Peter pulled the cloak off them and the three grinning boys reappeared just as Remus was pulling out his chocolate from his rucksack.

“Oh I knew it. I was one hundred percent sure right away.” Sirius grinned toothily at him, a gesture which Remus, in his present state of illness and fatigue, could not return.

“He was eighty percent.” Peter corrected and raised his eyebrows at the glare Sirius shot him.

“Whatever, the point is…this is amazing, why would you want to leave?”

“How long have you been one?”

“Do all the professors know?”

Remus closed his eyes and held his head, the shakes had slowed down and his body was calming down, but his mind was reeling as fast as a Nimbus at all the questions.  
“I don’t _want_ to leave. But it isn’t a secret anymore.”

“Uh, why?”

“You don’t think we’d tell do you?” James asked, popping a piece of Remus’ breakfast into his mouth and spitting it straight out. “Well…that’s raw bacon…”

“Yeah I…prefer it that way…” He muttered completely embarrassed by that and slowly looked up at his friends. As interested and downright fascinated as they all looked about the whole thing, they also all looked completely serious. “You mean…you wouldn’t tell?”

“Remus….whatever your middle name was Lupin.”  Sirius crossed his arms and sat down backwards on a broken chair. “We’re your friends whether you accept that or not.”

“We’d never tell, buddy.” Peter added.

“Yeah, you can always trust us.” James nodded and stuck out his hand to Remus who was so overcome with how genuine they were being he couldn’t stop the exhausted smile as he shook James’ hand.

“You mean you’re not scared of me? My father told me that’s what would happen.”

“Of you? Not in the least. I mean that wolf was kind of terrifying as hell last night but-”

“That’s because you’re too curious for your own good, Sirius. I told you not to go up again.”

“And I did not listen, Pete. Kinda stepping on my point.”                                                            

xxxXxxx

Keep his secret, they did. And not only that, but they would steal out of the castle to visit him and give him company on the days following the full moon when he was still confined. Peter took full responsibility for brining Remus his homework and classwork he needed to catch up on. A voluntary effort that both James and Sirius scoffed at, and stood firmly in their belief that being a werewolf was a damn good excuse for not doing his homework. Also their belief that Remus was crazier for wanting to stay ahead in his classes than he was for being a wolf.

The next two months were the easiest they had ever been for Remus. It was as if the terrible burden that he would carry as long as he lived was made slightly more bearable just to have a few select people he didn’t have to hide from. Friends. Real ones who knew, and kept, his most terrible secret and didn’t care that he was a monster.

When anyone questioned why they hadn’t seen him in the hospital wing when he claimed to be ill, someone would back up his story for him now.

Though none of them had said a thing, or left any trace that they had been there with Remus in the shack, Remus had a feeling that somehow Dumbledore knew anyway. He had caught his electric blue eyes once or twice at a meal, sure the Headmaster had directly been looking at him. Maybe he’d kept his own secret poorly, or maybe, it had been Dumbledore’s wish that Remus would make friends so true that he could share it with them and not fear the consequences.

Likewise, he knew was the greatest wish his mother had for him. His father however, would be terrified if he knew that more people outside of their family and the trusted professors of Hogwarts knew the truth. So for that reason, Remus neglected to mention it. For the entire remainder of the school term.

“So, on a scale of one to dragon, how furious will my mother get these holidays? Any bets?” Sirius cheerfully tucked his hands behind his head and leaned back in the compartment. “I’m thinking at least two threats to throw me out once she sees what I’ve got planned for my bedroom.”

“What would that be?” Remus asked without looking up from his parchment with his exam results which he had looked over quietly proud four times now.

“Emblazon the whole thing in red and gold. I mean…I can’t use magic outside of school and I’m not very good at Sticking charms yet so she’ll rip it all down….but that just means I can put it back up again.”

James chuckled, pushing his glasses up his nose and playing with his wand.   
“You should all come around sometime these holidays. My folks would probably love it but you know, can’t please everyone.” He offered with a grin which both Sirius and Peter matched but Remus just grimaced at.   
“My parents probably won’t let me.”

“What? Because of your…condition? That’s stupid, you can’t even visit your friends?” Sirius scoffed, although he knew perfectly well his parents would never allow a Black to visit a bloodtraitor family like the Potters, pureblood though they might be.

“You don’t really know my father, he doesn’t even like taking me to Diagon Alley.”

“You didn’t tell him that we know, did you?” Peter asked and Remus cringed and looked out the window.

“Pettigrew’s right, you _didn’t_.”

“He’ll hate it. He’ll say ‘I told you it wasn’t safe’ and might not let me come back.” Remus muttered.  He understood, to a point, where his father would be coming from but that didn’t mean he had to approve of it.

Ignoring the frowns of his friends he said nothing else until the train slowed to a crawl into Platform 9 ¾. Together the group heaved down their trunks and clumped off the train behind Annette Negrescu of Hufflepuff and Quirinus Quirrell of Ravenclaw.

Remus’ father was the first to greet them, clapping his hand, shaking slightly on Remus’ shoulder. He looked even greyer than he had in the Christmas holidays.  
Before he could so much as say a word, he was flanked by his three friends all of whom were grinning at his father.

“Mister Lupin?” James pulled out all the charm a Potter could and slung an arm over Remus’ shoulders. “I’m inviting my mates here over to visit in the holidays sometime. Would you let Remus go? He said you wouldn’t.”

“James what are-”

“Shut up, mate, I’m talking to your dad since you haven’t.”

Lyall’s thin lips got thinner and Remus could feel the exasperation in his father’s eyes as he looked at him and then at the other boys. “You said that, Remus?...I’m sorry, Jake…”

“…It’s James actually.”

“Dad, I have three friends, how can you not remember their names?”

“-James then…I’m afraid that Remus will be having quite…busy holidays, there may not be time to allow for visiting friends.”

“With all due respect, Remus’ dad?” Sirius put his two sickles in and clapped Remus on the back. “You don’t need to worry about him. His secret couldn’t be safer.”


	12. Chapter Twelve

 

“And another ten points for Gryffindor! A spectacular goal from Potter, Merlin’s beard can that kid fly!”

The Slytherin keeper, fifth year Matthew Goyle cursed again as he failed to block the goal James Potter had just swooped around and scored from behind as James neatly ducked a bludger shot at him by one of the Carrow twins.

An uproar of cheers went up from the Gryffindors…and then the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws who did not want to see Slytherin win the Quidditch Cup again.

Scarves in house colours flapped in the breeze and banners emblazoned with lions and snakes waved as students cheered on their teams and heckled the opposition. 

“Potter with the Quaffle again, a short pass to Black streaking up the pitch there-oh that _had_ to hurt!”

An unfortunately well aimed Bludger from Alecto had smacked hard into Sirius, sending him flying half off his broom and swearing curses at the Slytherins. Gryffindor’s beaters retaliated straight away, hammering a bludger between the two of them until they had to perfect shot at Slytherin’s seeker whose broom spiralled off toward the grandstand.

Remus couldn’t get into the spirit of the game. Much as he liked to cheer his friends on, and root for his house all the way, particularly over Slytherin, he was all too aware of what that night was and where he would once again be in just a few hours.

“You okay, Remus?” Even standing beside him, Peter had to shout to be heard over the din of the crowd and the picking up wind. It was bitterly cold out and dismally beginning to drizzle with rain but that did not seem to dampen anyone else’s spirits.

Remus pulled his scarf down from over his nose, pulling a disgusted face.   
“You’ll think I’m ridiculous.”

“We already do, remember!”

He nodded at the third year Hufflepuff girl sitting in front of them whose hair kept getting blown back into his face and screwed up his nose more. “I can small Wolfsbane in her shampoo and it’s repulsive.”

Peter just stared at him for such a long time that Remus thought he hadn’t even spoken out loud. Then his friend burst into laughter and clapped him on the back. “Oh wait ‘til I tell the others!”

Gryffindor won the match, three hundred points to one hundred and soon enough they were trudging over the muddy pitch to James and Sirius who had just left the changerooms, brooms slung over their shoulders.

“Great game!”

“Obviously, Peter, I mean we did _win_.” Sirius beamed and James elbowed him in the ribs which promptly made the shaggy haired youth wince.

“Does it still hurt?” Remus asked and Sirius shrugged and immediately down played the blow he’d taken from the bludger.

“I just wasn’t paying as much attention, it won’t happen again…hey, look.” He pointed between Remus and Peter who both turned and followed the line of sight to a scowling Severus Snape sulking off toward the castle.

“We could always hex him…he wouldn’t see the Bat Bogeys coming…”

“Why?” Remus frowned, “He’s not doing anything this time.”

“He’s jealous.” James sneered, “You’ve seen him every time, he makes a point of hanging around Evans so he ca-”

Remus’ head throbbed and he rubbed his face, ignoring whatever else James had to say about Snape. They started to trudge back up to the castle, shoes covered in mud and grass by the time they reached it.

“So, any particular homework you feel like subjecting yourself to this weekend, Remus?” James asked as if Remus was mad for appreciating Peter’s efforts in bringing him his school work. “Don’t say Ancient Runes, no one else is boring enough to take that elective.”

“Runology is fascinating actually.” Remus indignantly responded, “My father always swore by the ancient runic scriptures when he was-”

“Like I said, no one else is boring enough.”

“I’m boring then, guilty as charged, and I don’t mind it one bit.”

xxxXxxx

“Who can tell me what an Animagus is?”

The mixed class of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws exchanged glances and murmurs with their neighbour as McGonagall strode in between the rows of desks, a few hands rising into the air, one of them Remus’.

“Mister Lovegood?” The Transfiguration Professor called on a Ravenclaw boy with hair so blonde it was almost white, a thick Irish accent, and a habit of keeping his wand tucked behind his left ear for safekeeping. Something people never ceased to make fun of him for doing. Eccentric, to say the least, as Xenophilius was, he was particularly bright.

“Animagi are witches or wizards who can transform themselves into an animal at will. However that is only one specific animal.”

“Correct on all counts, five points to Ravenclaw.” The tall, intimidating witch nodded approvingly at the answer and strode up to the front of the classroom again. “For example, I myself am a registered Animagus.”   
And with an elegant sweep of her robes, she shrunk from sight and in the spot she had stood now sat a silver tabby cat, with spectacle like markings around its eyes. The room was alive with a buzz of excitement, even from those who already knew she could do that. The cat leapt onto the teacher’s desk and meowed loudly, which somehow everyone managed to correctly interpret as a call for order. The cat jumped and once again, Minerva McGonagall appeared standing tall and proud in sweeping sapphire robes with just the barest hint of a smile on her stern face.

“What do I mean by the term, registered Animagus?”

There was no response and so she continued, “The Animagus Registery was instiuted in the sixteenth century by the Ministry of Magic in order to ensure that Animagi do not misuse their ability and can, if necessary be identified. It is mandatory for any magical folk successful in becoming one, to register-yes, Mister Black?”

“Wouldn’t the point of being one of these be to _not_ be recognised?”

“A valid point indeed. However, unless you feel the desire to serve out a sentence in Azkaban prison, and potentially a lifelong Ministry watch, I should highly recommend you register should you achieve the pinnacle of such complex, and indeed dangerous, magic.” Her tone became gradually more and more sarcastic as she raised an eyebrow at Sirius who was looking coolly back at her. “Something, I would not hold out much hope of achieving if I were you, Sirius Black.”

“Well how dangerous is it to try?” A Ravenclaw at the desk behind Remus asked and the corner of McGonagall’s mouth twitched.

“Failure to correctly perform this magic, or even something as simple as performing it on the wrong night, can result in permanent disfiguration, somewhere between human and animal. I once came across a particularly foolhardy-” Remus didn’t fail to notice that her eyes darted to Sirius as she said that and beside him James snickered. “-young wizard whose lower body had become that of a skunk.”

The entire room gasped and Remus exchanged a glance with James who had one eyebrow raised high in his messy hair.

xxxXxxx

“Does anyone else find it really strange that we’ve had a different Professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts every year?” Peter asked as they waited outside the classroom and Remus nodded slowly, adjusting his bag.

“I was speaking to the prefects in the library. Apparently the same teacher hasn’t lasted more than one year since 1957.” He murmured and Sirius let out a bark like laugh which Remus looked at him blankly for.    
“Dropping like flies.”

“Most of them haven’t _died_ , you dolt, Professor Aristole moved to Wales.”

James shrugged and leaned on the wall, tossing a dungbomb up and down in his palm waiting for the perfect place to set it off.   
“Well ol’Draxia isn’t so bad. Sometimes repetitive but he barely remembers when he said the homework was due in.”

On cue, this year’s Defence Professor swept into view, the doors opening with a wave of his wand to allow students to file into the room to their seats.  
Francis Draxia was a tall, aging wizard with long greying hair usually tied back in a ponytail who believed in pitting his students against one another when practicing defensive spells. Which, Remus had to admit, was at least practical, and thoroughly entertaining sometimes. Even if once the Professor had fallen asleep during his own presentation on Salamanders.

Today was not going to be one of those days.

The moment that Remus had settled into his desk with Peter on his left side and James and Sirius at the desk beside them, a feeling of dread came over him. Not unwarranted it seemed as with a flick of Draxia’s wand, chalk began to appear on the blackboard, spelling out the word Remus hated more than any other.

_Werewolves_.

The next hour was one of the most uncomfortable of Remus’ schooling so far, far exceeding the lecture on treating werewolf bites in first year. He kept his head down, pretending to be focused on scratching down notes on the identifying signs of a werewolf, and the registration which he knew his name did not yet appear on but one day would have to. Trying to tune out the talk of stigma and general bias the whole Wizarding wold had against his kind, he failed to notice that his quill had run dry two sentences ago.

“Professor Draxia?”  A Hufflepuff raised her hand to get the teacher’s attention.

“Yes, Miss Baum?”

“Is it true there are werewolves in the Forbidden Forest?”

“No, my brother says they just say that to keep students out of it.” Someone else piped up from across the room only to be followed by the girl behind Sirius, Alice Blackthorn of Hufflepuff chiming in,  
“But you can hear howling at night sometimes!”

Professor Draxia shook his head and looked somewhat amused at the idea. “A werewolf is only in their beastly form on the night of the full moon. So unless those howls are specifically and only then, I doubt they come from a werewolf. That’s not to say there aren’t any number of dangerous creatures in those trees as is.”

Remus felt hot under the collar and slowly reached to loosen his tie, suddenly feeling as though it was strangling him. Peter nudged his arm and he straightened up slightly. He couldn’t be drawing attention to himself in this class.

xxxXxxx

“You know what McGonagall said…it’s incredibly complex magic.”

“Remus, I’m hurt you don’t think I’m an incredibly complex wizard.”

“You’re also thirteen, James, it’s a ridiculous idea.” Remus rolled his eyes with the hint of a smile on his face as they trudged across the grounds, feet flickering in and out of view as the four of them tried to fit under the invisibility cloak.

“I’m not suggesting we try to do it right _now_. Just that it’s a cool idea  for the future sometimes. Properly thought out of course. Back me up here, Sirius.”

“I agree. How amazing would it be to be able to turn into a lion or something?” Sirius grinned as they passed by Hagrid’s hut on the borders of the Forbidden Forest and took the first few steps inside. “Not to mention McGonagall doesn’t think I’d ever be able to do it.”

“Anyway, that doesn’t matter now. Give the cloak here…” James hissed and Peter pulled it off of them and handed it to James who stuffed it inside his robes securely.

“I d-don’t think it’s such a great idea to be out here.” The boy stammered, looking around the tall, dark trees  as Remus and Sirius lit their wands and held them up.

“Oh it can’t be that dangerous, Professor Kettleburn lets students in.” Sirius scoffed, referring to their Care of Magical Creatures teacher, after which Remus added.  
“Under teacher supervision.”

“We’ll be fine. It’s an adventure. As long as Peter doesn’t get lost.”

“Hey!”

A screeching came from overhead as the four explored the forest and a colony of bats suddenly flapped overhead, making Sirius jump to everyone’s great amusement which Peter immediately laughed at.  
“Ha! See? I’m not the scared one.”

“Oh shut up…” Sirius grumbled.                                                                                                   

The trees were so dense in places that the moon and stars were completely obscured, and the only light they had was coming from their wands. Every sound was magnified in Remus’ ears. As if his senses were somehow heightened in the dark, even his vision at night was considerably better than the average human, to say nothing of his sense of smell.

“Shh…” He threw out an arm and stopped them suddenly, straining his ears to find the crunch of branches that hadn’t come from any of their boots. Turning, they each pointed their wand a separate direction and then it was James that laughed softly and they all turned to him.

“Look…” James hissed, pushing his glasses up his nose and staring at the silvery unicorn that was staring at them, snorting softly. “That definitely isn’t scary, right?”

Then they all heard it. The quiet growl that made the unicorn whip its beautiful head to the side and then as suddenly as it had appeared, gallop off out of sight.

“…alright that was kind of creepy…” Sirius muttered.

Peter paled and backed right up behind his friends only to have the growl come again this time from behind them. Remus exchanged a glance with James.

“Run?”

“Run.”

In which direction exactly, he wasn’t sure, but they ran. Jumping over abnormally large tree roots and crunching through twigs and leaves. Something, he had no idea _what_ , was following them. No. Not following. Chasing them.

“Ouch! Wait up!”

Remus, James, and Sirius skidded to a halt, whirling around to find Peter had stumbled over a root and was struggling to his feet again. They bunched up, wands out on each side and trying to remember any defensive spell they could to buy them time.

The growling got louder, coming from every side now and the eyes of something flashed under Remus’ wand light. Then they heard it. The howl of a wolf to its pack and his blood ran cold in his veins. Well this was an ironic end for him.

“They were right!” Peter squeaked, “Werewolves!”

Despite the gravity of the situation, Remus couldn’t help but turn his head and stare at his friend. “If it was a full moon, you wouldn’t be anywhere near me, remember?”

The wolves stalked into full view, coats thicker and shinier than was usual for a wolf, their eyes almost human in appearance though there was no doubt they were true wolves. There were five of them circling the boys, teeth bared and clearly hungry.

“Remus? Remus, what are you doing?!” Someone hissed and until they did, he hadn’t realised he was doing anything odd at all. His wand hand had lowered, now pointing at the ground as he stared almost in a daze at the brown and silver wolf in front of him.

They weren’t attacking. Why weren’t they attacking?

He noticed too late the growl that had seemingly come from behind him had in fact come from his own throat. His friends were staring at him now as much as they were keeping eyes on the animals. The wolf, evidently the leader of the pack lifted its head slightly and Remus followed it. There was a small break through the trees here and they could just see the crescent shape of the moon through the leaves.

He snapped out of his daze as Sirius clapped a hand on his shoulder and shook him. He looked down to see the wolves weren’t surrounding them now. They were standing together, five of them in front of him staring at him like they were intelligent enough to know what he was. Was _that_ why they weren’t attacking?

“Is this some weird, wolfy thing? What the bloody hell is going on?” Sirius hissed and Remus swallowed.   
“I don’t know…” He wasn’t afraid. He was so repulsed that he was really so different that even these animals could see it. He hated that part of himself so much that anything that remotely reminded him of it, sickened him.  “Let’s go. They won’t hurt us.” He muttered and turned and started to stomp back the way they had come. “This was a stupid idea, James.”

Ten minutes walk later they froze, but this time because they had walked into not only one, but two people. The huge, half giant form of Hagrid stood there sighing with relief and holding a lantern and followed by McGonagall, not quite so intimidatingly high and mighty when she stood beside Hagrid.

“I can hardly wait to hear the explanations for this midnight visitation.”

xxxXxxx

Remus woke freezing cold. His whole body shivering and the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. Groaning, he lifted his head and rubbed his face. Today was Christmas Eve wasn’t it? The snow was falling in a thick blanket outside…and somehow…inside? He sat up and rubbed his aching arm, blood was running down it as slowly his memories came back to him.  
He remembered the fury and the triumphant howl of the wolf when he had shattered the protective enchantments over the house and burst through the wooden walls. He remembered getting out, and nearly free completely before the cords had hurled him back inside the house around his hind legs. He remembered baring his teeth and lashing out at his own father so violently he’d had to be cursed so his jaws snapped shut. Then a flash of light and there was nothing after that.   
The fourteen year old, partway through his fourth year of magical education, stared in horror at the damage he had done to the house. It had been years since he’d broken the enchantments like that. Just when they thought Lyall had cast them strong enough.

He bundled himself up in a blanket left in the corner of the empty room they had thought would be able to hold him, starting to register the pain of the long scratch down his arm. He’d done that to himself with his own claws in his desperation to get loose.

There was a clicking of locks and the door swung open to both his parents staring frantically at him. His mother looked thinner and greyer every time he saw her now. Every holidays she seemed to age five years. She ran to him and knelt by him, sweeping him into her arms like he was still a tiny child. Had it not been the morning after the full moon, Remus would have heartily protested. But he was tired and in pain and didn’t have the strength to argue.

“My boy…my poor boy…” She hushed, pulling out a piece of chocolate from her apron which Remus eagerly nibbled on as Lyall walked right to the gaping hole in the wall and swallowed a thick lump. Remus knew what was coming before his father found the words to say it.

“We need to leave here.”

Instead of Christmas presents the Lupin household could barely scrape enough money together for, they would move again. To a cottage in the country outside of Castle Combe where neighbours were few and far between and a cellar they deemed more appropriate for werewolf transformations.

He didn’t fool himself, didn’t complain when his parents couldn’t afford to buy him new books or clothes. This year he was still wearing his third year robes with the hem let out as he grew. He didn’t mind really at all, especially not when he knew it was because of him that they struggled so much, and his father’s hopeless determination to try every hair brained whisper of a cure for lycanthropy. It was because of _him_ that his father could not maintain such a prominent position in the Ministry that he had once done. He had been allowed to go to Hogwarts, and never again had Remus asked for anything material from his parents.

Still, his mood went from bad to miserable on the train back to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays.

“At least I don’t hang about with cowards, blood traitors and poor freaks. Mother’s right, you’re a disgrace to the name of Black.”

“Nick off Regulus, you little toad, before I hex you into next week.” Sirius slammed the compartment door closed in his brother’s face with such ferocity the glass in the doorframe wobbled and promptly pulled down the blinds over the windows.   
“I _hate_ my family.” He snarled, dropping onto the seat beside Peter and putting his feet up on the one opposite.

“They’re not all bad are they? What about your cousin, didn’t you say she was against what they stood for too?” James looked over and pushed his glasses further up his nose.

“Andromeda? Yeah, she married Ted Tonks almost straight out of school and he’s a Muggle-born. Just had a kid too I think…cousin Bellatrix was screeching about it.” Sirius shrugged, “Mother blasted her off the family tree for that. Reckon I won’t be far behind as soon as I can get away from ‘em-can you believe they _support_ what the Death Eaters are doing to these poor Muggles?”

“Death Eaters? Is that what they’re calling themselves?” Remus muttered, his head pressed against the cool glass of the window as the train began to move. He had seen the Daily Prophet that morning over breakfast. Ten more muggles dead and the Ministry scrambling to make arrests. The world outside Hogwarts was dark, and darker days were coming. Everyone knew that but no one wanted to say it.

“Dumbledore’s fighting back. I’m sure of it.” James twirled his wand in his fingers, “We all know how he defeated Grindelwald, there’s no doubt in my mind he’s fighting back against Voldemort more than the Ministry are managing-Remus? You okay, mate?”

The young werewolf snapped out of whatever semi aware state he had been in and looked over at his friends and followed their gaze down to his hand which until now he hadn’t been aware had been clenched into a fist so tightly he was cutting through his own skin into his palm. He relaxed his hand and forced a smile.

“Fine.”

“No you ain’t. What is it? Did something happen on the holidays?” Peter asked, his spotty face furrowing in concern.

Remus swallowed and sighed before he rolled up the sleeve of his hand knitted crimson jumper to reveal the long scratch down his forearm.  
“Same thing that always happens. Me.” He muttered and looked away embarrassed to admit that he was responsible for his own misfortune. “We had to move….again…”


	13. Chapter Thirteen

 

Another full moon, another night of confinement, another stifling night starved of even the scent of something edible. Howls filled the night sky, carrying over the wind all the way to the village of Hogsmeade. As the werewolf, now at its full maturity, had grown in size so too had it grown in strength and ferocity. There was little more vicious than a starving werewolf who would in a blink kill its best friend if they crossed its path. Nearly ten years it had been since the terrible infliction of lycanthropy had sunk its teeth into a four year old boy. Well over a hundred transformations and in all that time not a drop of innocent human blood had been consumed.

A creature that existed for violence and blood, starved of it for so long could only go so long before it began to lash out at anything else that it could. The rats and bats that held no appeal for it became prey, if not for eating than for killing. Worse than that, far worse for the boy trapped unreachably inside, it turned on itself in its desperation for freedom.   
The ferocious howls, and agonised human screams of painful transformations were joined in the night by the pained cries and yowls by the wolf when its claws caught its own fur and drew its own blood. Alone, in pain, and hungry, the beast wailed a terrible sound that would carry for miles.

Perhaps it was an added curse, even a punishment that when they tried, a werewolf in their human body could remember their grisly nights spent as a beast. For Remus it was an eternity of near misses, destruction and the stifling confinement of a caged animal.  
He was shaking worse than usual when he woke the next morning and was paler even than the taxing night usually left him. His shoulder where the scar of the bite would forever remain stung anew with small cuts and bruises. But worse than that, and the ache of the stress his body underwent every full moon, was the sharp, piercing pain in his face.  
He lifted his hand shaking to his face and pulled it away red with his own blood. Crying out he fell forwards onto his hands and knees and tried not to hyperventilate. It hurt so much, one of his eyes could barely open without blood dripping into it. He’d done that to _himself._ He remembered it now. The loud howl of pain as his own claws slashed at his snout, angry and trapped and desperate.

Somewhere below him he heard the trapdoor open loudly, and knew just from the way it clattered loudly as if it had been opened carelessly, that it was his friends and not the matron yet.

They couldn’t see him like this. They couldn’t. Since second year they had been crazy enough to not be afraid of him, now they would know at last that they should be. He clutched his face in his hands and had just enough time to turn his whole body away before he heard the three other boys stop in the doorway.

“Morning, sunshine. Tough night?” James’ laughing voice was echoed by Sirius and Peter laughing. Remus never thought it was funny. He might have laughed the first time. But twenty odd times later the joke had gotten old.

“Brought your homework for you.”  He heard Peter say brightly and the thump of books being set down in a pile. Still Remus didn’t say anything to them.

“Mate, you are _awake_ aren’t you?” Sirius scoffed and Remus nodded minutely but the shaking in his shoulders must have been giving him away because their next few words were edged with concern.

“Remus? What happened?”

“You didn’t get out and kill someone did you?” Sirius was joking but it couldn’t have been less funny and apparently the others thought so too as someone apparently elbowed him. “Oof…what?”

“Don’t look at me.” Remus murmured at last and swallowed back a lump.

“What do you mean? Do you still have a furry face-ouch! Quit it, Peter.”

Someone, he thought it was James, stepped up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder which Remus immediately shook off and shook his head more fiercely.   
“Don’t look at me…” He repeated softer this time.

“Lupin, show us what’s wrong, you need he-oh bloody hell…is that blood?” James had evidently seen his hands covering his face and a shudder ran through him. “How hurt are you? We’ll run and hurry Madam Pomfrey alon-”

“She doesn’t know you know, _d-don’t_ tell her.” Remus insisted muffled and very slowly lowered one of his hands.

“Then show us! Remus how can you think we’d judge you for it after two years already?”

“Fine!” He struggled to get out, his whole body shaking as he very slowly turned his head to face his friends and lifted his face. They all gasped, Sirius’ jaw dropped and Peter’s eyes bulged as they stared at the three, long gaping scratches that diagonally spanned the whole width of his face. Scratching his arms or legs was one thing, this was entirely different.   
“There!” The werewolf snapped, though his eyes were full of shame and not anger. “Now are you finally afraid of me?! This is what happens to _myself_.”

“Merlin’s beard, that’s nasty!”

“Madam Pomfrey will be h-here any moment, she can h-heal you right?”

“They’re cursed wounds. You can’t-”

“-heal werewolf inflicted wounds. Right.” James finished and Remus groaned and nodded, turning his bleeding face away from his friends again in embarrassment and pain.

No sooner had he turned, he heard the trapdoor opening again and the swish of the invisibility cloak as James threw it around himself, Peter and Sirius.

“Ah, you’re awake-oh my word, you poor boy!” The matron gasped, leaving the tray she carried to levitate over to a table where Remus definitely heard a grunt as it bumped one of his friends.  
Reluctantly Remus lifted his face, but did not meet her eyes as he shuddered too embarrassed to admit out loud a second time that he had done it to himself.

Slowly drawing her wand along the length of the cuts, murmuring a soft incantation under her breath, Madam Pomfrey soon had the wounds closed and the bleeding stopped.  
“There now, _tergeo_ …” With another flick of the wand, Remus felt the blood fade away from his face and his hands.

“Professor Dumbledore should be made aware of this.” She tutted her tongue, “You cannot be a danger to yourself as well, Mister Lupin, drink this now and I will be back later on to see to you.”

As the trapdoor closed and he finished his tonic, his friends reappeared, still staring at his face as much as Remus wished they wouldn’t.  
“It’s that bad, isn’t it?”

“Only if you don’t want to wear a mask…”

Remus groaned and reached for his dwindling pile of chocolate, breaking off a larger than usual piece and nibbling on it in a bid to make himself feel better as Sirius clapped him on the shoulder.  
“Kidding, mate. Who cares what anyone thinks? You just need to think of an explanation.”

Getting to unsteady feet, he ran a hand gingerly over his face. Fetching his wand from under the bed where it was safe with the rest of his belongings he picked up the goblet of pumpkin juice from his breakfast tray and moved his wand in a circle over it.   
“Speculo…”  
The liquid shimmered in the goblet until it smoothed over into a perfectly reflective, unbroken surface like a mirror. Clear as day he could see the damage for himself. Three new, long, cursed scars adorning his face and standing out clearly in contrast to his pale skin.

All he wanted was to fit in and now he had a hallmark outwardly obvious that something had happened to him. How was he supposed to explain that?

xxxXxxx

He could feel every eye that turned to stare at him in the halls as he made his way upstairs on the Saturday, two days after the full moon. He could hear the quiet whispers and a few snickers from students including a group of Slytherins with Sirius’ younger brother in the midst.  
Trying his best to ignore them as he shouldered his way up the staircase, toward the portrait of the Fat Lady.

“Password?” The portrait boredly said although Remus knew he she was staring quite curiously at his face.   
“Polyjuice.” He murmured and the portrait swung open, now beginning to sing a terrible opera behind him as he crawled through the portrait hole. Catching sight of his friends by the fire he hurried upstairs to drop his bag and books on his bed and then trudged down from the dormitories to join them. Just as he had exited the staircase he heard an unwelcome question.

“Woah, Lupin…what happened to you?” Frank Longbottom, a fellow fourth year with an aptitude for Herbology who had just been about to go up the staircase Remus was vacating, asked a little too loudly.

The question generated interest from a few sixth years who had been playing Wizards Chess nearby and glanced up curiously, now they too were staring with half the Common Room. Lily appeared next to Frank, frowning in concern.   
“Oh my word, how did that happen?”

“I…” He stammered, his face burning with embarrassment which only made his scars stand out more. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sirius get to his feet and then the next thing he knew a hand was clapping down on his shoulder.

“We might have gotten a little too close to the Whomping Willow yesterday. Wouldn’t recommend it. Right, Remus?”

For half a second he just stared at his shaggy haired friend in amazement at the idea and then quickly caught on and played along with it. Half smiling sheepishly he glanced at Frank and Lily and then around at the curious Gryffindors staring at his scars.  
“Yeah. Hit me in the face, that’s what trying to study it gets you.”

“Honestly Remus, I can imagine Potter and Black doing that quite easily-”

“Heard that, Evans.” James chimed in feigning offense.

“I was speaking loudly.” The redhead rolled her eyes then turned back to Remus. “They dared you to get close didn’t they? That’s just irresponsible!”

“Guilty as charged, Lily, thank you for your opinion.” Sirius raised an eyebrow at her and Remus half smiled apologetically as he stepped off to join his friends by the fire.

“So…anyone feel like nicking down to Hogsmeade next weekend?” James asked as Sirius and Remus joined them, flipping through a copy of Quidditch Through the Ages and raising an eyebrow.

Peter, sitting on the floor leaning on the coffee table and trying to do his History of Magic essay, looked up confused. “That isn’t for another two weekends yet.”

“I know, but who says we need to go with everyone else?”

“McGonagall.” All three of the others answered in unison and then exchanged slightly amused looks with each other.  
“Besides, we’d never get out of the grounds on a weekend we’re not allowed to.” Remus added, coughing into his sleeve.

“Boring. Who says we need to use the gates?” James rolled his eyes and lowered his voice, a grin spreading over his mischievous face. “Wait until you see what I found behind one of the statues during last weeks detention…”

xxxXxxx

Students were milled about the corridors, red and gold and blue and bronze scarves and banners adorning the railings of stairs in celebration of that morning’s Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw which Gryffindor had narrowly won by ten points. The statue of the One Eyed Witch stood on the third floor, near the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, where to most students, it was just an ugly old eyesore not much more attractive to look that than a gargoyle.   
To James Potter and now to his friends, however, it was infinitely more interesting.

“We’re too big to all fit under this now.” Sirius grumbled from beneath the invisibility cloak, impatiently trying to pull it over his ankle again and again.

“Shut up, Sirius, someone will hear you.” Remus hissed, although he too thought the same. Peter might have been the shortest of them but he was by no means the smallest.

“Both of you be quiet, this is going to be worth it, trust me.” James grinned and with a furtive look around to make sure no one was looking their way he slipped his wrist out of the cloak and rapped his wand on the hump of the statue.  
“Dissendium…”

There was a creak and a moment later the hump of the witch opened a gap large enough for one person to get through. James grinned around at his friends, smiles all curling onto their faces. “Come on then!” Leading the way, James slipped out from the cloak and through the opening. Peter followed, then Remus, looking over his shoulder and last of all Sirius with the cloak which he bundled up and handed to James to stash inside his robes.

“It’s a long walk but it takes you directly down to Hogsmeade. So worth it.” James grinned, pushing his glasses further up his nose and starting to lead the way along the passageway. “Dinner isn’t for hours, no one will ever know we’ve gone.”

“Except you have detention with Professor Kettleburn for letting those Nifflers loose, remember?” Remus said and both James and Sirius groaned in unison.

“Oh well, we’ll just get an extra one, I’m starting to think we spend more time in detentions than in class, James.” Sirius laughed and Peter, just behind James raised an eyebrow at him.

“That’s because you spend more time mucking around than paying attention, oh…I forgot to ask, Remus, could I borrow your notes for Astronomy?”

“Pete, you could copy my star charts to the letter and still barely get a passing mark.”  
They all chuckled, including Peter who seemed to take a moment to actually understand that was a gentle jab at his expense.

“Hey!....does that mean I _can_ copy your chart?”

“No. But I will help you.”

They walked in comfortable conversation, with occasionally raucous laughter instigated by either James or Sirius and usually at the expense of Severus Snape. Their rivalry with the Slytherin, and determination to belittle him wherever possible, to Remus stemmed largely from Snape’s jealously at James’ Quidditch talent and equally from James’ jealousy over Snape’s friendship with Lily.  
Regardless of the reason, Remus didn’t like the way they constantly treated him when he was minding his own business…not that that was to say he particularly thought Snape was a nice person. If anything he was quietly creepy and unnerving with his interest in curses and jinxes and Remus didn’t like it much at all anyway. But he wouldn’t take part in the pointless bullying.

The passage went on, largely straight and downhill for the better part of an hour until Remus, now towards the front beside James suddenly stopped and looked at his friend oddly.

“I can smell chocolate.”

“Say what you like about werewolves, but they have a wicked sense of smell. I can’t smell anything except Sirius. Or do you just have a sixth sense that has something to do with chocolate?”

“He’s right, mate, you do eat it like it’s its own food group.”

“Very funny. No really, I smell chocolate…” He sniffed the air again and laughed slightly. “And liquorice.”

James grinned to himself. “You’ll see, come on!” And with that he set off at a jog for the last thirty seconds before stopping and pointing up at a trapdoor. One by one they climbed out and the cloak swept over them again.  
“Honeydukes.” James grinned cockily and then shushed them all and quietly slipped out of the cellar into the sweet shop.

The sight and the smell of all the sweets from Sugar Quills to Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum had Remus’ stomach growling against his will and he was suddenly reminded how pitifully low his stack of chocolate had gotten this year once he had taken to carrying a block around with him in his robes to offer to his friends, or particularly to nibble on in the days leading up to the full moon.

“Oh this opens _so_ many doors.” Sirius grinned, grabbing a packet of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans once James had subtly stuffed the cloak away again so the four of them could just casually slip between the shelves as if they were supposed to be out of school.

“Like smuggling Butterbeer into the dormitory?” Peter suggested, causing all three of the others to turn and stare at him in surprise. Rarely was Peter the one to come up with suggestions…and especially rarely good ones.

“Unbelievably I hadn’t even thought of that.” Sirius grinned and clapped Peter on the back. “Bloody good idea.”

They lingered in Honeydukes for about five minutes, while they bought their fill of sweets to last until the next Hogsmeade weekend. Or rather, his friends did, Remus stood to the side trying not to eye off the chocolate that he certainly had a sweet tooth for.

“Not getting anything, Remus?” James asked, his pockets laden with chocolate frogs, pepper imps and fizzing whizzbees while Sirius and Peter were paying.  
Remus shook his head modestly, hoping that he looked casual enough about it for James not to notice that the reason was because he had less money to his name than a church mouse did. They struggled more every year at home. Particularly after another house and another failed, foolishly purchased cure from his father.  
“Do you _want_ something?” James pressed, and Remus pretended not to notice the knowing look he was giving him as he just shook his head and smiled. He appreciated the offer…he did. But he didn’t even like receiving Christmas presents from his friends, it felt strange to him, like they knew.

“Let’s go guys, Zonkos?” Sirius clapped his hands, shooing them out of the shop and pointing to the joke shop down the street with a grin.

Halfway there, James muttered and sighed, stopping just behind them. “You guys go ahead, I’ll meet you there in a minute, I…put the cloak down the in shop on top of a barrel, I’ll catch up!”

After dinner that night, when James and Sirius had been dragged off to detention to polish the school trophies, Remus headed up to fetch his star chart to help Peter with their Astronomy homework. Something gold caught his eye as he opened his trunk for a new quill and he pushed aside the sweater covering it to find four whole new blocks of chocolate there.

When asked about it later, James denied any and all knowledge.

xxxXxxx

 

“Sirius Orion Black…” Walburga Black, a tall, pinch faced woman whose jet black hair was tied back into a tight bun and wore robes of black and a deep emerald green strode toward her son who stood defiantly in front of her, sneering down her hooked nose at him.   
“You are a disgrace to pure-bloods…and a sickening disgrace to the family.” She was looming right over him now, somehow taller than he thought she was. “You are nothing. You will only ever _be_ nothing and one day you will watch as all your little blood-traitor friends are-”

“Ridikkulus!’

There was a flash of light and the witch was suddenly wearing robes of a scarlet and gold, in Gryffindor colours. Only now it wasn’t Walburga wearing them. It was a screeching, balding vulture, humiliated by the colours.

The class erupted in laughter, but none louder than Sirius himself as he conquered his Boggart and grinned triumphantly, shouting loudly so everyone could hear, “And that’s what I wish would really happen!”

“Thank you for that assessment, Mr Black. Well done! Next.” That year’s Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Domhnall Catan, a Scottish wizard with a thick red beard just a little less impressive than Hagrid’s waved Sirius off to the side with a nod of approval and Severus Snape stepped to the front of the line.

“What’s old Snivelly afraid of, huh?” James hissed from behind Snape, “Washing your hair?”  
Peter snickered and most of the Gryffindors in the class laughed, except for Remus and Lily who was scowling at James like he was something bad she had just stepped in.

“Piss off, Potter, you afraid of falling off your broom?” Snape sniped back but before James could retort the boggart was shifting and twisting.

Lily stood there where Sirius’ mother once had and there was a little chorus of snickering and a gasp from Lily as her other, pretend self, tossed her red hair and sneered at Snape.

“Potter’s right. You’re pathetic. Why would I ever want to be friends with _you_?”

Snape’s wand hand was shaking as he pointed it at the dark creature that manifested into people’s greatest fears.  
“Ridikkulus…” He tried but whether it was his hand shaking or he couldn’t visualise Lily turning into something to laugh at, it didn’t work.

Sirius, Peter and James howled with laughter, leading most of the class in doing so. Snape’s ears burned red and Remus saw hatred flash through the Slytherin’s eyes as he whipped around to see everyone laughing at him. The boggart Lily behind his back sneering and chiding him, renouncing their friendship.

“That’s enough!” Professor Catan shouted over the noise at the same time the real Lily said the same thing and stomped hard on James’ foot who yelped and glared at her.

“Ease up, Evans, it’s not my fault he can’t take a little laughter!”

“It is _not_ , James Potter, you toerag! Stop being so beastly!”

“I said ENOUGH!” The professor’s magically amplified voice silenced the room and he shook his head. “Keep practicing, Severus. Moving along!”

James went next, the boggart turning from Lily into a whole group of people, Professor Dumbledore, McGonagall, Madame Hooch, the current Quidditch Captain and, to everyone’s surprise, Sirius, Remus and Peter too.  
“You’re a liability to the team, Potter. You’re off…”  
“You’ll amount to nothing.”  
“The lowest mark, I could give to anyone. Troll!”  
“We never really liked you...”

James’ face was an unreadable mask as he stiffened his jaw and looked squarely at the boggart. Raising his wand he flicked it sharply.   
“Riddikulus!”

There was another flash of light and in place of the group of people was a bright burst of fireworks, and the boggart was gone.

Snakes, heights, drowning, a giant rat and, bizarrely enough, a giant chicken later it was Remus’ turn. He felt his confidence in this class sink down into the floor like it had the day of the werewolf class. He knew what was going to happen before it did.

The Boggart changed, taking a few seconds before a single white orb, not unlike a crystal ball appeared in the air in front of him. But it wasn’t a balloon, or a crystal ball. It was the full moon which made his heart speed up and his breaths come quickly. His friends were looking at him, he could sense it wherever they were in the room, and the professor had taken a few steps forward before Remus raised his wand and took a steadying breath. It wasn’t the real moon. He just had to get rid of it before anyone connected the dots.   
“Riddikulus!”

The moon began to spin and stripes appeared around it until a large bouncy ball was bouncing around the room.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

 

The handsome tawny owl hooted and pecked on the window of the cottage at the muggle woman inside, waiting impatiently for someone to open it and allow it to deliver its cargo to the household.  
Hope, who had been laying out milk, mugs for tea and glasses for orange juice at the table for breakfast looked over and sighed. She had over sixteen years to get used to the wizarding mail system but couldn’t say she much cared for the feathers the birds dropped. Although, it seemed a great deal faster than her post.  
Brushing her hands off on a fraying apron she yet needed to mend, Hope opened the latch and swung the window outwards to admit the bird which hooted again loudly.   
“Your post is here, Lyall!” She called over her shoulder, thin fingers trembling as she untied the letter from the bird’s leg with fingers that were quite practiced at this. Lyall, upon telling her he was a wizard had frequently communicated with her this way, or would send word from the Ministry when he had to work late.

The owl fluttered away as soon as it’s charge had been delivered, soaring back out into the sky towards its roost and sender. Turning over the letter to read the name upon it Hope looked up as Lyall entered the kitchen with his hand out for the post.  
“Sorry, love. It’s for Remus not for you.”

“For me? Probably the booklists.” Her fifteen year-old son asked curiously, appearing just behind his father with eyes still bleary with sleep.  
Remus was growing fast as any teenage boy did and was already very nearly his father’s height and towered over Hope as it was. Tall and lanky, he was thin and his skin pale as ever. The scars on his face made Hope swallow with sadness and worry every time she looked at him. He would always be her beautiful boy. Her boy who suffered so frequently and who, as parents, they could do nothing to ease.

Handing him the letter and sitting down to pour herself a cup of tea as Lyall rushed around the kitchen, flicking his wand at the bread knife to butter himself a piece of toast as he pulled his cloak on.

Remus turned over the letter, sealed with the crimson Hogwarts crest and addressed in emerald green ink and opened the envelope that felt heavier than it usually did. Tugging out the letter, it was indeed his Fifth year supplies list. All books he already had for his classes with the addition of two others, The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5, and Practical Defensive Magic and Its Use Against the Dark Arts.   
The Standard Book of Spells every year had all come from his father, who had used the same textbooks when he was in school, and Remus had vague notion that he’d seen the other buried somewhere amongst the stack of books as well.

But what caught his eye was the second sheet of parchment alongside the supply list. He opened it and then glanced up as he felt his father standing over his shoulder.  
“I can read it myself, Dad.” He sighed but looked back down and his eyes widened in surprise at the content.

_Dr Mr Lupin,_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to serve as Prefect for Gryffindor House. Your school record shows that you have exhibited great resourcefulness, the ability to be an outstanding example to others and the bravery that Gryffindors have long been lauded for._

_We are certain that you will continue to be a model for your peers and will take your responsibilities seriously. Enclosed please find your Prefect’s Badge, which should be worn on your school robes at all times. Congratulations!_

_Sincerely  
Minerva McGonagall_

_Head of Gryffindor House._

Quickly picking up the envelope again, he tilted it and, sure enough, out tumbled a crimson badge edged with gold and emblazoned with a large, silver letter P. _Him_? A _prefect_?

“Bloody hell…” He murmured to himself, ignoring the disapproving look his mother gave him at the language and a smile crept onto his face as though he still couldn’t entirely believe it.

Behind him his father let out a laugh and clapped his shoulders, beaming at his son and pride shining from his face.

“Prefect! Well done, son, just like your old man was!”

“You were a prefect?”

“Are you surprised?” Lyall feigned offense but couldn’t maintain it for very long before his pride with his son came shining back through.

“Mum, look!” Remus got up and went over to his mother at the stove to show her the badge which she took and turned over in her thin fingers, light and happiness finally showing from her face when she dropped the spatula and pulled Remus into a hug.

“I always knew you would do well, my boy, my darling boy…”

Remus squirmed a little, as much as he loved his parents, he was fifteen after all and didn’t need to be coddled and sheltered whatever they thought.  
“Relax Mum, it isn’t Head Boy or anything.”

“You should be very proud of yourself, Remus. Each house only has six at any one time.”

“I know, Dad. I’m very thankful.” Remus smiled, which crinkled the scars where they cut over his mouth and sat back down at the table to finish his breakfast.

“I’m off, Hope, I might miss supper tonight, there’s a terribly large mountain of paperwork in my office, not to mention that of other wizards who no longer file things correctly.” Lyall tutted, with an edge of bitterness that made Remus look up.

“Why do they make you do all their work, dad? You told me you used to be out in the field, why aren’t you anymore?”

Lyall hesitated and a lump leapt into his throat, he cleared it quickly and looked away from his son, not about to tell him the truth that he’d been made a laughing stock for the last decade and preferred immensely to keep to himself especially in the Ministry.  
“Oh you know these things, Remus. That’s just how it goes sometimes when you’re too decent folk.”

Just as Lyall swept out the door Remus remembered something and bolted up to follow him, catching his father’s sleeve before he could Disapparate.

“What is it?”

“I meant to ask, James has invited us, that is Sirius, Peter and I, to stay for a day or two these holidays. I thought…you might let me go?”

Lyall’s already thin face paled and his lips flattened into a thin line.   
“Absolutely not. You know what’s coming up.”

“The full moon is in two weeks, he wants us to go this weekend.” Remus tried but he had known it was a futile effort from the moment he asked.

“No, Remus. Under no circumstances are you to go. You’ll be looking like death by then, you never know when something will go wrong.”

“Dad, I know _exactly_ when something will go wrong, it’s kind of a big part of being a bloody werewolf. They _know_ what I am, do you think they’ll care if I’m a little peaky?”

Lyall shook his head. The moment he had found out that had Remus shared his secret with three other students, he was more guarded than ever about his son’s safety. At any time one of these _friends_ could betray him and out him as an unregistered werewolf.   
“And I will always think that’s incredibly irresponsible for you to have let happen-”

“They’re my friends! They’re good people, they’ve kept it secret for years!”

“You are _not_ to go, Remus. Owl your friend and tell him you will not be seeing them before next school term. That’s plenty time enough for you to be out of home.”

Without waiting for his son to argue with another word, Lyall turned on his heel and Disapparated on the spot.

xxxXxxx

Unbelievable. He had been at Hogwarts for four years and his friends had kept his secretly securely for three of those. Hadn’t they proven time and again to Remus that they were his friends? Yes, he had to admit, he was petrified of the day they came to their senses and remembered that he was actually a dangerous monster after all, but they had _kept_ his secret. They wouldn’t tell. He knew that of them.

And _still_ , despite the fact Remus was a student and away from home most of the year, his parents wouldn’t let him leave the house without one of them during the holidays.

It was humiliating and disappointing and he was hurt that his father couldn’t trust him to know his own best friends. The teenage werewolf let out a frustrated growl that was a little more animal than human and dropped down onto his bed in the sparsely furnished bedroom. There were only a few years left until he came of age, and he could Apparate where he wanted to.   
Remus didn’t like to complain. He never so much as mentioned the measly living the family had to survive off, he didn’t want to be pitied. He struggled to even accept birthday or Christmas gifts from his friends because he didn’t have the money to return the favour with much more than chocolate or sweets. He was lucky he could go to school at all being what he was. He was lucky Dumbledore had so much faith in him, and even luckier still that he’d been chosen as a Prefect.  
But he was fifteen. He wasn’t five anymore, he had friends that he trusted and his father should trust him. But Merlin forbid he spend longer than a few minutes in Diagon Alley out of his house when he wasn’t in school.

Passing by his open trunk, Remus, frustrated though he was, took the time to place his brand new Prefect badge in pride of place on his bedside table. That cheered him up a little, though it did little to lessen his annoyance as he sat down at the mostly bare, save for some textbooks, desk with parchment and a quill. Picking up the stray letter that sat open on top of his Astronomy book he scanned the content once again. It was the letter from James inviting him for a few days with the others.  
Dipping his quill in the ink bottle, Remus pulled his parchment toward himself and began to write.

_James,_

_Afraid I won’t be allowed to join you these holidays. I wish I could say I was surprised._  
It’s not even the week of the full moon and they still won’t let me leave the house unsupervised because of my ‘hairy little problem’.   
It’s alright really. What’s another two years? Then I can make my own decisions.

_I’m sure Sirius and Peter will more than make up for my missing it._

_I’ll see you all at the start of term._

_Remus_

Signing his name with a little flourish that he had inherited from the way his mother wrote, Remus sealed up the letter, addressing it to James Potter. Now he’d have to wait until his father came home to take it to the nearest Wizarding postal office in Diagon Alley to mail it. Unless James so happened to send a follow up letter before then.  
He knew exactly what his friend would tell him to do. That it wasn’t fair on Remus and Remus should just come along anyway, even if it meant hailing the Knight Bus.

 But running away was certainly not something he wanted to have to do. It wasn’t _really_ his parents’ fault that he had to be housebound.

That didn’t mean he had to be happy about it.

xxxXxxx

It was only Hope and Remus home for dinner that night, like every night that Lyall had to stay late at the Ministry. It bothered Remus sometimes, as if there was something his father was keeping from them, or at least from him. Something about why Lyall Lupin, who he knew very well had been a very prominent member in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, and an expert in Non-Human Spirituous Apparitions, had been mostly behind a desk since Remus could remember.

“Remus, would you have something to eat?”

He poked at his potatoes and looked up at his mother, hardly noticing that he hadn’t even eaten anything on his plate yet. “I’m not very hungry.”

“Remus…you know why he said no.”

“I don’t care about that.” He did, but it wasn’t as important as what was really bothering him about it. “I care that he doesn’t trust me to know my own friends. Maybe if you _met_ them-”

Hope sighed, and the clink of cutlery against plate sounded as she put down her fork, her own supper barely touched either as she immediately tried to change the subject. “Why don’t you tell me about what the prefects do at Hogwarts?”

Just at that moment the front door opened and a breeze swept in with Lyall, tangling his cloak around his shoulders. He burst into the kitchen with his greying hair windswept and a flushed, newly Apparated look on his face.  
“I found another.”

Remus didn’t have to ask to know what his father meant. He knew even before the vial of silver liquid was pulled from a pocket what was about to happen. Again. His eyes dimmed, the very opposite of the excited expression on his father’s, and different again to his mother’s, looking exhausted and downright disappointed.  
“I thought you said you were working late…”

“Working on getting a hold of this, yes. It’s bound to work. It’s made with an infusion of wolfsbane.”

“Lyall…not another one. It’s been ten years and nothing has worked, you can’t keep doing this to him.”

“Hope, I’m trying to _help_ him-”

“Him is right here…” Remus mumbled, but reluctantly held out his hand for the vial. It was easier to go along with it than it was to argue anymore. Even if he knew, and he was sure that his father knew deep down, that it would never do any good. He just hoped that this would be the last time before his father realised it was a fruitless attempt.

Under the hopeful eyes of his father and the sad, resigned ones of his mother, Remus sniffed the vial and immediately recoiled at the scent of wolfsbane, overpowering anything else. It was more likely to make him more ill than it was to cure him. But a boy of fifteen, werewolf or not, couldn’t understand the frantic desperation of a father who just wanted to cure his son.

Blocking his nose, the young werewolf swallowed it in one mouthful and just looked at his father with a resigned expression as if to say, ‘Is this the last time?’.

“It’ll work this time.” Lyall’s smile seemed forced, that of one who really had given up inside but didn’t want to seem like he had no hope for his son.

Remus just looked at the ground, his mouth burning with a foul aftertaste and already feeling as if he wanted to throw it all right back up again.  
“Can’t you just accept that this is what I am?” He muttered, some earlier resentment still resonating within him and leading to a nauseous teenage werewolf shaking his head and going right up toward his room. He paused with a foot on the stairs and turned around, taking the letter addressed to James out of the pocket of his jeans and leaving it on the table.   
“Can you post that please? You told me to write and say no.”

xxxXxxx

“Lyall…this needs to stop. You can’t keep spending all the money we have on hairbrained schemes to “fix” our son… that will never work! I thought it was your job to know about these things in your world?”

“I’m not trying to fix him. I’m trying to _save_ him. Remus is all we have and I can’t give up on him, Hope-”

“Accepting is _not_ giving up on.”

“I have to do something to fix my mistake don’t I?” Lyall snapped, gripping at his greying hair and leaning against the doorframe. “It’s my fault he’s like this, Hope. It’s _my_ fault and I’ll take that to my grave if I don’t help him.”

“Ten years, Lyall. It’s been ten years, you need to-” the muggle woman started, her arms crossed and eyes wide and sad as she stared at her husband. They barely had the money to afford rent anywhere, and every time they thought this “cure” would be the last time, Lyall would go and spend all his savings on another one that inevitably failed. “You can help him by telling him the truth, and easing both your minds. You can help him by letting your son have as normal a life as he can.”

Revealing the whole truth to people he cared about was not one of Lyall’s strongest attributes. For fear that it would make her think less of him, he hadn’t even told Hope for months into their courtship that the boggart he had saved her from the first time they met hadn’t really been a life threatening danger. Telling his son the truth about why he was a werewolf at all? He couldn’t bear to have his only child look at him and condemn him.

He shook his head and sunk into the armchair that had been magically repaired so many times it was nearly overstuffed.  
“Tell him? Tell him that I thought werewolves were heartless monsters who deserved to die? He would never forg-”

“You _what_?”

Hope and Lyall both turned in unison and Lyall’s heart seemed to stop for a moment. Remus stood in the doorway in his dressing gown, his gaunt, scarred face staring in nigh bewilderment at him. Of all parts of the conversation to walk in and overhear.

“Remus-”

“You thought werewolves deserved to die? You thought we were monsters too?”

“Remus, I don’t now-” Lyall tried, although that would be little comfort, and poor justification, particularly to a werewolf.

“But you did once.”   
Lyall couldn’t tell if it was betrayal or disbelief on his teenage son’s face. But after a moment, he realised it was both when Remus clenched his jaw, turned on his heel and ran up the stairs.

xxxXxxx

What exactly he was going to do, he hadn’t worked that part out yet. But Remus was pulling on his boots the moment he got back to his room. He felt betrayed, and disappointed and ashamed to hear that his own father, and a wizard who specialised in magical creatures, had once been such a prominent member of the prejudice that most of the wizarding world had against werewolves. After years of telling Remus that he wasn’t a monster, even if he had to be treated as one on the full moon, his father had believed exactly the opposite once.

The house wasn’t connected to the Flu Network, and he couldn’t Apparate yet, so he couldn’t just turn on the spot and show up at one of his friends’ homes. But all the same, Remus grabbed his wand just as his father ran up to his room looking ashamed of himself and full of remorse for what he had just said.

“Remus John Lupin, just what are you doing?”

“I don’t know. I could get the Knight Bus…” But even as he said it, Remus knew it sounded daft. He wasn’t that kind of person to run away from home.

“Remus, you can’t think that I still believe that werewolves are…beasts? I changed my perspective, I don’t think any of that anymore…”

Remus rounded on his father with a nigh wolfish growl that he could see his father’s jaw clench slightly at. “Yeah, because you got stuck with one yourself!” He snapped, and caught a glimpse of his reflection in a cracked mirror. He saw it all the time when he looked at himself. The eye went to the scars, and then the eyes that weren’t always quite human. He saw the wolf all the time, he already thought of himself as a monster, but his own father?  
“What if I was normal?” He asked a little quieter just as Lyall opened his mouth to speak and then tilted his head.

“What do you-”

“What if I was a normal wizard and I’d never been bitten?” Remus asked again and was nearly dreading the answer, “Would you still think that about werewolves?”

“That is not fair, Remus.” Lyall said firmly, shaking his head. There was no way he could answer that. Maybe it was because he knew the answer would likely be ‘yes’.

“Well neither is the idea that all werewolves deserve to die.” Remus muttered, squarely off with his father like he never had before. Never had a real reason to. “They can’t help what they are! I can’t help what I am and what I do and they probably hate themselves for it just as much as I do!”

“That is _enough_ , Remus. My views _changed_ , and maybe it took you being a werewolf to change them, but they did change.”

Remus closed his mouth, as much as he wanted to argue more, to some degree he knew his father was right that far. He _had_ changed and he was a good man. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t be angry at what his father had believed.  
“What aren’t you telling me, dad? What haven’t you told me?” He murmured, throwing his wand onto the bed and dropping down onto the foot of it. There were answers, and he felt he deserved to have them.

For the longest time, his father said nothing, just stood in the doorway looking older and more tired than Remus could remember ever seeing him.  
“Alright…” He sighed and pulled out the chair from Remus’ desk to sit down across from his son. “…it’s my fault that you’re the way you are…and that’s the truth.”


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for how long this chapter has taken to come out. I've only just gotten time to really sit down and write again for a bit! But the show that I was working on is over now, and I'm straight into the next one but updates should definitely come faster than it took this one to come out!

 

“…What do you mean?” Remus lifted his head, his brow furrowed and the scars wrinkling across his nose in confusion as he looked over at his father. “How could it be your fault? Werewolves…we’re not in control, how could-”

“Remus, the one who bit you…he knew what he was doing.”

“You said you didn’t know who it was. You said there was no way you could have known.”  
A lump rose in his throat which Remus swallowed down. He felt his heart beat a little faster in his chest, not unlike the sensation that preceded the change into the wolf. He hadn’t blamed his attacker, whoever it had been because he knew what it was like It knew how it felt to have no control whatsoever, and yet be aware the next day of what he had done. He hadn’t held any blame against the unknown werewolf because he knew he could easily do the same thing the moment he escaped his confines.  
If anything, he’d felt empathy for the poor soul.

“That wasn’t exactly true…”

“ _How_ could you know who it was?”

“Son…please, just sit down and I’ll explain it. I promise…no more secrets, just sit down.”

Remus was suddenly aware that he had gotten to his feet without even noticing, and that the deep hum that had been resonating in his ears was actually coming from his throat. Snapping out of whatever had come over him it he shook his head and unclenched his fists, slowly sinking back to sit stiffly right on the edge of the mattress.

Lyall let out a long sigh as his son calmed down again, although there was a defiant glint of anger still in his eyes. And who could blame the boy? He’d been lied to about the origins of becoming a werewolf for as long as he had been one. It was by no means the first time they had had a glimpse of the wolf inside Remus while he was in his own body. He was a teenager, and one that desperately wanted to lead a normal life that he couldn’t. Mood swings normal for any young man, were accompanied with rumbling grumbles that were more like growls, dilated pupils that nearly blocked out all the green in his eyes for a moment when he was frustrated, to say nothing of his appetite for raw meat.

“Remus, I know who attacked you, because it was a very deliberate act of revenge against me.”

“Werewolves don’t do these things deliberately, I should know, I _am_ one-”

Lyall held up a hand to silence his son, and for a moment fixed him with a pitying look that Remus hated to see. “That does not mean that you know everything. This man was- _is_ , as monstrous a wizard as he is a wolf. He does not hide away before a full moon, he chooses his victims and it took far, far too long for the Ministry to realise that.”

“Who?”

“…Greyback. Fenrir Greyback is the one that infected you…”

The name hung heavy in the air between father and son for a long time as if they had been written in mid-air to stare them in the face. Lyall was staring at the floorboards, ashamed of himself that he only now had the courage to tell his son the truth. Remus however, stared straight at his father, his jaw slightly agape. Ten years ago, that name meant nothing in the wizarding world. Now it was infamously linked not only with savage werewolves and the name behind frequent attacks on muggle children, but with Lord Voldemort.  

“The…Death Eater?” Remus’ voice was soft, still almost in disbelief that his father saw fit to conceal that fact from him for so long. His hand slowly rose to his shoulder as the wound hidden behind a woollen jumper seemed to tingle slightly.

Lyall nodded and slowly lifted his tired eyes. “He wasn’t one then of course…he wasn’t even a known werewolf until after…”

He didn’t want to ask it, but at the same time, Remus wanted the truth. The whole truth this time and he deserved to know, even if it was horrible.  
“Why me then? What do you mean it was an…act of revenge?”

“He was brought in to the Ministry following a werewolf attack on two children. Ten years ago, nearly eleven. He didn’t have a wand, they thought he was a muggle.” Lyall spoke slowly and deliberately, choosing his ever y word carefully. “I could see it…” He swallowed and looked up to finally meet Remus’ wide eyes. “In his eyes, in his hands, his skin…I knew what the signs of a werewolf were after and before a full moon. But nobody believed me when I spoke out.”

 _“They’re soulless! The lot of them! They’re evil and they deserve nothing but death!”_  
  
The laughter and scorn and embarrassment he had carried on his shoulders for the last decade came back as fresh as ever.

“And…” Remus said in the temporary silence as his father paused.

“…I got angry. They told me to leave the courtroom, they wouldn’t listen so I tried to shout it, make them look at him properly. He was no muggle…you know now what my opinions of werewolves were…and I said that they were…evil beasts who deserved to die.” He murmured, even though Remus already knew now how drastically his views had changed, he realised how stupid, and prejudice those words were, even if Greyback _was_ evil, it didn’t mean all of them were.

“…and they let him go, and he came for me.” Remus finished for him and Lyall merely nodded his head and drew in an unexpectedly shaking breath, running a trembling hand over his face.

“I could never tell you…I couldn’t bear to have my only child look at me the way you did tonight….I’m a coward, a selfish _coward_.”

It all fit together now. All the pieces of their measly life. The secrets he’d always felt were being hidden from him. The _reason_ he was a werewolf at all, and that it hadn’t been a mere coincidence and bad fortune. The reason his father had fallen from prominence in the Ministry, and couldn’t claw his way back. The fact that it had been no poor illfortuned wizard who had bitten him but by far the most dangerous and cruel of them of them all, now _recognised_ to be that, and a follower of Voldemort.

His father’s head was in his hands now, his shoulders shaking with the weight of everything he’d carried for the family crashing in on him. Remus understood now. He saw it. He saw why he’d never been told, even if he should have been. His father wasn’t just desperate for a cure because he wanted Remus to be a normal boy, but because he felt he had caused it and so needed to fix it.

“I’m so sorry…I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have to live a life like this, Remus…” His voice was broken and muffled by his hands. “It’s my fault, and I can never fix it….I know it, I really do. You should resent me…”

“Dad…” Remus swallowed and stepped over to him to place a hand on his father’s shoulder. “Dad, I don’t _resent_ you.  You tried so hard for so long…I know it’s to keep me safe… _I know._ ”

Lyall moved one of his hands from his face to pat his son’s hand where it rested on his shoulder. He gripped it and lifted his face, looking up through tired eyes to meet Remus’, whose eyes so resembled Hope’s, and so very, very _human_. Remus was no animal.

xxxXxxx

“Well, well, well…what do we have here?” Sirius let out a low whistle as Remus entered the compartment on the Hogwarts Express and started to heave his trunk up. His Prefect badge was gleaming on the lapel of his too small coat.

“Alright, alright, take the mickey all you like, I can take points off you this year, you know?” He smiled a worn smile and sat down beside James.

“Oh I’m absolutely terrified, aren’t you, James?”

“Shaking in my boots.” James Potter laughed and nudged Remus with his shoulder. “Well done, mate, at least one of us is on the right path, hey?”

“Nah, they just don’t know how much of a mischief maker he really is because Remus has the good sense not to brag about it, unlike some of us.” Sirius laughed loudly and James tutted and turned to Peter who sat opposite, beside Sirius.

“You heard him, Pete, stop being such a braggart.”

Remus smiled to himself and soon got to his feet again as the train started to pull away from the station.

“Wait, where are you going?” Peter asked, and three pairs of curious eyes turned to stare at him as Remus rested a hand on the door.

“They have a meeting on the train for all the Prefects-” no sooner had he got out the sentence than the door opened for him and Lily Evans stood there,  already in her robes with a shining Prefect adorning them. She smiled warmly at Remus and pointedly seemed to ignore James Potter behind him who had straightened up slightly and ran a hand through his hair.

“I had a feeling it would be you, Remus! Congratulations!” The fifth-year girl beamed, “I came to check if it was, we have to go to the prefects’ carriage with the Head Boy and Girl.”

“Yes, I was just going. Well done to you too.” He smiled and rolled his eyes in amusement as James coughed loudly for him to step out of the way so he could talk to Lily. He did so for a moment and turned an amused eyebrow onto James who was flashing his cockiest smile.

Lily rolled her eyes and flicked her mane of red hair, gesturing for Remus to come along and swept down the corridor.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, Potter, you’re not going all sappy on us are you?” Sirius sounded disgusted and James kicked out at him.

“Put in a good word or two for me during your secret Prefect meetings won’t you, Remus!” James called as the werewolf disappeared down the corridor after Lily.

Alongside Remus and Lily, the six other fifth-year prefects were all faces Remus at least recognised. The eccentric Xenophilius alongside the softly spoken and almost ethereal like Pandora from Ravenclaw; Evan Rosier, a Slytherin chaser who got good grades, but was as nasty as they came, and Gwendoline Quickly, a curly haired brunette who he only recognised from classes; and from Hufflepuff the good natured Gandalf Amsel, and Jenna Baum with hair as red as Lily’s.  
The Hufflepuff girl briefly caught his eye and flashed Remus a smile, mouthing the words “well done” across the carriage at him.  
They were briefed on their responsibilities of upholding the rules and providing an excellent example for other students and particularly first years. Prefects were entitled to give detentions as a form of punishment when the circumstances were fitting, and to dock points from students, providing they were not fellow Prefects. They were given the passwords for their houses, and instructed that their first responsibility as new student leaders was to show the way to the common room to the new first years following the evening’s Sorting Ceremony.

xxxXxxx

“I swear to Merlin’s hippogriffs if I hear that Lockhart kid from Ravenclaw trying to make people join his little club _once_ more, I may hex him.”

“He’s a first year, Sirius, you can’t go around hexing students four years younger than you.” Remus’ eyes darted up over his book as a huffing Sirius Black crumpled up a piece of parchment and pointed his wand at it.  
“Incendio”

Remus could just make out the words; _Join today!,_ before they were burnt up in the flickering orange flames which burnt into nothingness in the middle of the library table.

“Well he’s an arrogant little snot.”

“And you’re an arrogant big one, Sirius Black.”  
The boys turned to see Lily sitting there scowling fiercely at Sirius. Her arms were tightly crossed and wisely Remus raised his book to hide his face, wanting no part in whatever she was about to tell Sirius off for now.

“I’ll take that as the highest of compliments, Red.”

“Call me whatever you want. I _saw_ what you and James did to Severus in Transfiguration-”

“Well, duh, we weren’t being secretive, Evans.”

“No! You weren’t! Enchanting someone’s quill to bite them when they try to use it is _not_ funny.”  
Lily’s voice was little more than a hiss, avoiding the cold glares of the librarian as she swept past with glistening emerald robes. Sirius’ voice on the other hand, was not so quiet and did not allow Remus to avoid the conversation.

“Remus, back me up, it _was_ funny.”

He peered over his book again and glanced between the two, Lily had an eyebrow raised at him. He didn’t have to read between the lines to know what that expression of disapproval meant. It was plain as day. Why didn’t he ever stop them?  
“Remus is a Prefect _and_ a decent human being. He should be discouraging that behaviour too.”  
His ears burned red and he pressed the book so close to his face that he could barely focus on one or two words.

“Remus has a sense of humour. You’re pulling that badge are you, Lily? Gonna take points off me? McGonagall already did, sorry.”

“Looking for me are you, Evans?” James sauntered up behind the girl, tossing his bag onto the chair opposite Sirius just as Lily rounded on him with a glare.

“You’re both toerags. I’d tell you to apologise but I’d have more luck telling that to the Giant Squid.”

With that the girl turned on her heel and stormed out of the library.

“Honestly, that girl really needs a sense of humour. I don’t know what you see in her, James.” Sirius sighed and swung his foot up onto the table, promptly sliding it off again when the librarian turned such a fierce look on him it would have made a dragon second guess itself.

“She’ll come around in the end, just you watch.” James finally looked back at the table, flashing an ever confident grin. “She didn’t like the biting quill I suppose.”

“Got it in one, if only you could catch the snitch that fast.”

“I _can_ \- Remus, you okay?”

“Hmm?” Remus snapped his face up away from the book, suddenly aware that his friends were all looking at him as he slowly lowered it back to the table and picked up his quill again for the History of Magic essay he’d been working on.  
“Fine…just concentrating. It is O.W.L. year remember.”

“Oh, don’t remind me, it’s all any of the professors do now.” James sighed and shook his head, Remus was suddenly aware of his hand trembling on the surface of the table as he watched James’ eyes dart to it and frown slightly. “It’s the day after tomorrow isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Remus nodded minutely, his nose crinkled slightly in distaste as he thought about it and promptly tried to still his trembling hand. “Don’t worry about it, I’m fine. I always am.” He got to his feet and gathered his books and homework back into his bag.

“Where are you going?”

Remus glanced down at Sirius, the strap of his bag pressing on the badge on his chest for a moment before he shifted it out the way.  
“Just need some air you know?”

His friends knew what that meant by now. And thankfully they respected it. It usually meant Remus needed space, and air before he became irritable and sickly as he steadily became overwhelmed, and always happened in the few days before the full moon. So they didn’t stop him or follow him as he slipped out of the library and leaned against the corridor wall, his head dropping against the stone wall as he paused to breathe.  
It wasn’t that he approved of the worst of James and Sirius’ pranks, or how they frequently picked on Severus Snape, he didn’t really. Even if he didn’t at all like Snape either, there was no need for bullying. But they didn’t _hurt_ anyone. That’s what he told himself whenever he refrained from saying something, or laughed along with their jokes.

They were his best friends. His _first_ friends. They accepted what he was, and accepted him as one of their own. He couldn’t lose that for the world. So he turned a blind eye, and say nothing more than “that was unnecessary” softly on the odd occasion.

He knew it was wrong. He knew that he could say something. But what if he lost his best friends for it? That wasn’t a price that Remus wanted to pay.

Perhaps he was more like his father than he’d first thought.

xxxXxxx

Two nights later Remus woke in the morning in the same, all too familiar pain he did every month. He groaned and winced as he placed a hand on the back of his head and felt dried blood there. He must have hit his head against something. It wouldn’t have been the first time the wolf did trying in vain to escape.

The older he got and the stronger and angrier the werewolf became, the smaller the shack seemed. Even if it was substantially larger than the basement he was confined in at home, it wasn’t nearly enough to sate a creature that wanted blood. That wanted to run and stretch its legs. That wanted to hunt. So it turned on itself. The long scratches across his face were by no means the only ones Remus wore. They were just the most visible, the worst of them. His arms and chest were peppered with scars both small and longer where the beast scratched and fought itself. The howls and roars that had come from the shack outside of Hogsmeade for over four years now, were frequently accompanied by higher whines and shrieks of a creature in pain.  
It had earned itself the name the Shrieking Shack among the locals now.

Quickly he pulled on his clothes and ignored the throbbing pain in the back of his head as the hinge of the trapdoor lifted. It would be the matron again, with his breakfast and tonic and then, as usual, James, Peter and Sirius would pull the Invisibility cloak off and appear in the shack too once she was gone.

Their company meant more to Remus than he would ever have the words to express, sharing his secret with trusted friends, more valuable than all the galleons in the world. But even so, there was no denying that every full moon, in the moment before he lost control and human conscience, it was the loneliest feeling the world. The loneliest, harshest night that no human should have to experience.

Minutes later, he had hungrily gobbled down his breakfast, ravenous as though he hadn’t eaten in days, and the pain had ebbed away again. He heard the trapdoor swing up again from downstairs and a moment later three pairs of footsteps clattered up the stairs to find him.

“Morning, sleepy head.” James crowed, he and Sirius already clad in their Quidditch gear for that morning’s match against Slytherin, Peter following along behind them bundled head to toe in coat and red and gold scarf against the bitter chill outdoors.

Remus looked up from breaking a piece of chocolate off the block he kept with him and held it out to offer some to them.

“I knew we were right to take a few more minutes.” Peter grinned, eagerly helping himself to a piece, followed by Sirius.

“Sure thing, Pete, it wasn’t as if one of us got halfway across the grounds and then realised he’d forgotten his wand or anything.” James scoffed, plopping down onto the old squeaking bed and pointing his wand at the splintered bed post. “Reparo. Honestly, Remus, what did the bed do to you?”

Remus watched the wood neatly fit itself back together and shook his head with a half-hearted smile as he tucked the chocolate away. “Ha ha, very funny. Are you ready for the match?”

“Slytherin’s got nothing on us, whatever Rosier likes to shout.” Sirius scoffed and clapped his hand on James’ shoulder. “And Regulus hasn’t got a hope of getting the snitch against James.”

“Forget your brother, I’m not sure anyone does.” Peter praised, which undoubtedly only made James’ already large ego even bigger from the grin that was plastering over his face.

“Anyway, we have almost an hour before we should get going.” James shrugged it off and grinned around at them as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, a sure sign that he had an idea in his head. “I may have had the brainwave of a lifetime last night when we heard you howling like mad.”

“You can hear it from the castle?” Remus blanched, the scars standing out against his skin as it paled even more. He knew Hogsmeade heard it clearly, but all the way from Hogwarts?

“Well…” The other three exchanged a look and James grinned. “Only when you’re deep in the Forbidden Forest and not in bed like you should be, anyway…”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking James? Hexing Regulus’ broom so he can’t get off the ground?” Sirius grinned, which drew the stares of Remus, James and Peter all at once.

“…Not remotely, although _now_ that’s what I’m thinking.” James laughed and brushed Sirius off to stare at Remus with a glint in his eyes that went hand in hand with mischief. “A werewolf isn’t a danger to animals is it? Only humans.”

Remus couldn’t even begin to fathom where James was going with that question, and from the looks on their faces, neither could Peter and Sirius who were staring at him strangely.  
He answered slowly and shook his head, quizzically tilting it to the side slightly. “Not unprovoked, no...no danger at all.”

Producing a book from somewhere in the folds of his Quidditch robes, James held it up so they could all see the title. _An Encyclopaedia of Human Transformation_.  Tapping the book with his wand it opened to chapter fifteen. “It’s a _mad_ idea.”

The three other boys crowded around, peering over James’ shoulder to read the name of chapter.

_Animagi._


End file.
